Quote of the Day

"If I'm corrupt, it's because I take care of my district."

-The biggest, fattest, most plump banquet-fed piggie himself... John Murtha.

Friday Review: Adventureland

Updated: Be sure to set your Outlook Calendar to Friday afternoon when the R and R Review gives its opinion on yet another flick before it's released. This week, as the picture above suggests, we will be viewing Adventureland. I hope its as good as I Love You, Man. I sure can get used to these advance screenings. Again, we have to thank our friends at Metromix Atlanta.

Delta Europe Deals

So I guess I’m going to become the Delta blogger. I got an email earlier this week telling me to take advantage of discounts on low cost air fares to Europe. I was expecting maybe $250 each way. Nope, it was $409 each way to Barcelona from Atlanta. Barcelona was the only “discounted” fare from Atlanta no less. With taxes, that means this ticket would be around $1,000 round trip. This sure isn’t cheap to me. Not like I was sitting on the fence between flying to New York or Barcelona and this “deal” is going to push me toward Barcelona. My point to Delta is…don’t waste my time on sale e-mails unless there's really a sale. Maybe give me a better selection, since I live in a city that is the major hub of Delta. Also, tell me the round trip price. I have no plans on moving to Spain right now. For keeping me up to date, but on useless information I give this latest attempt by Delta a Spork Rating of:

Where The Wild Things Are: Trailer

Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak, hands down the greatest children's book of all time, has finally been made into a movie. Directed by Spike Jonze (Being John Malkovich, Adaptation, Beastie Boys Sabotage video) and written for the screen by Jonze and Dave Eggers... incredible. I had this book memorized word for word by the time I was three years old and cannot wait for this film to be released. October 16, 2009.

The Georgia Tech Club at Echelon

I had heard that the Georgia Tech Club was a long and difficult course, but was told by a member that it is actually rated as the hardest course in the Atlanta area. The mid tees played around 6,660 yards, with the tips playing just over 7,000 yards. To put that in perspective, during the 2002 US Open, Bethpage Black was playing at 7,200 yards.

On Sunday afternoon, I was able to play this course with a fellow Atlanta Golf Leaguer, who has been a GT Club member since the course opened about 2 and a half years ago. Apparently the club only has around 200 members, so the course is never crowded. We only encountered one other group the entire day. Pretty amazing. It was like we had the course to ourselves. Unfortunately, at this point in time, the clubhouse is a double wide trailer and the carts are stored under a tent. The website shows the grandiose plans for construction of the clubhouse, but from what I have been told, there is no set start date. I quickly dropped this from my mind when I rode up to the stunning practice facilities, which included a driving range with accurately labeled distances to pins (and greens!), a true-to-course putting green, and even a short game area. Although I didn't have time to use the short game practice area, it looked really sweet. There was room enough for long pitch shots, it had several bunkers, and areas of different elevation to practice almost any conceivable chip shot. It was probably the nicest practice facility I have ever seen.

As for the course, it certainly lived up to the hype. Any errant tee shots typically found major trouble, as the course is heavily wooded and many holes play along streams and other bodies of water. There were a few holes where tee shots required at least 200 yards of carry just to make it to the fairway. Being March, fairways and rough were dormant, but still in great shape. On approach shots, the safe miss was typically short and/or right, which played well for my fade. Left usually meant big trouble. The bunkers were immaculately kept and the greens were literally perfect. Many courses aerate their greens this time of year, so it's hard to find a course where the greens are not covered in sand. These greens were big, fast, and rolled true. To me, nice greens are worth every penny, especially these greens. They can make fools out of the average putter.













Pictured above is the par 3 8th, which played about 160 yards from the Blue tees. The tee shot plays over a lake into an amphitheatre green set into the hillside with bunkers behind. This hole has been compared to the 12th at Augusta National, but plays longer. My tee shot hit just short of the green and rolled down into the muck. But unlike Augusta, there was no crowd to sigh on my behalf. Just a playing partner whose competitive eyes lit up.

I found the back nine to be more difficult than the front, as there were huge elevation changes which led to blind approach shots. But again, short and right seemed to be the safe miss. Guest fees range from $70-$125 depending on who you know, but this playing experience is definitely worth every penny. If you have the chance to play this course, take it. You will be humbled.

The Georgia Tech Club at Echelon
501 Founders Drive
Alpharetta, GA 30004
P: 770.888.4653
http://www.echelonliving.com/experience.html

Knowing

I don’t think Nicholas Cage has ever turned down a movie script. He is all over the chart going from Gone in 60 Seconds to The Family Man to his Oscar winning dramatic role in Leaving Las Vegas to the action flick The Rock. Seeing him as the leading man in Knowing gave me absolutely no indication what direction the movie would go. Action? Adventure? Thriller? Drama? Now, after seeing Knowing, I can only assume that the writers and director had no clue, either. Before viewing the movie, all I knew about it was that there was bunch of numbers that predicted tragedies. I expected an end of the world scenario facing Mr. Cage’s character John Koestler, but had no clue what was behind the potential disaster. So, I was taking a gamble going to see this movie and boy did I lose big.

The premises of the story is that in 1959 students at a new elementary school put pictures into a time capsule of what they predict 2009 will hold for the world. Everyone put pictures in except for creepy Lucinda Embry (Robinson), who wrote a series of numbers. Fast forward to the fall of 2009 when the school opens the capsule and the students each take an envelope holding the predictions from the 1959 students. John Koestler’s son, Caleb Koestler (Canterbury), is the unlucky child to pull Lucinda’s page of numbers and soon starts to experience very strange events, such as hearing whispers and seeing strange people standing near the woods by his house wearing dark cloaks. One point that drove me nuts the entire movie was that Caleb wore an ear device. At first I thought he was deaf, but he could speak and hear fine. It was pointed out he was an expert in sign language, however. Later, his father explains that words just get mixed up in his head and the device helps him, yet he isn't deaf. Um, I don’t think a hearing aid helps dyslexic children. Anyways, the device was never fully explained or needed for the plot, except as a warning to the audience that the strange people were coming.

John quickly became curious about the numbers, after knocking back a few drinks, because of his all too predictable depression. Not sure why the drinking seems so fake or forced, especially since Cage won an Academy Award for playing a drunk. Even though he has had quite a bit, John’s mental abilities are not impaired and he quickly determines, in about 10 seconds of randomly selecting numbers from the Lucinda’s sheet, that they represent the date that tragic events happen and the amount of people who are going to die. Of course, his scientist buddy believes that John is going insane, due to his wife’s recent death and pays no attention to the seemingly hundreds of incidents accurately forecasted by the paper. This is also when the movie changes from just a disaster/end of the world film to a science fiction/theology thriller.

While I expected very little when I entered the theater, I began to expect much more as the movie developed only to later realize that it bit off more than it could chew. The complex story seemed to be rushed (John figuring out this complex number puzzle in 10 seconds), yet was somehow sluggish in revealing major plot developments. At times I believe the film wanted to be bigger than just an average thriller/action genre movie like Armageddon, but the writing and acting never lived up and thus created a mess. Why both Lucinda and Lucinda’s granddaughter was played by the same little girl, I’m still not sure. Was this movie pushing faith in a higher being or proving everything could be explained in science? I have no clue. Maybe that’s the point, but I left frustrated and wished I saw Duplicity instead (I already saw I Love You, Man). To sum it up, the writing was a mess, the acting was too predictable and overdone, and the overall feel of the movie was strange. By the time the ending came, I didn't care who lived or died and laughed at the last scene. I don’t recommend wasting your money on this movie as you will leave feeling unsatisfied and frustrated. Why did this movie, having a story with so much potential seemingly just give up and follow the path of so many others? No clue and for that reason, I give Knowing a Spork Rating of:

Runtime: 1 hr. 55 min.

Rated PG-13

Opened March 20, 2009

I Love You, Man

By: BA Roof

Last night the R and R Review had an interesting experience screening I Love You, Man. Since we’re not a big enough outfit to have movies sent directly to our private screening room yet, we still have to sit among the commoners in our smoking jackets to watch a film. We thank Metromix Atlanta for giving us the opportunity to see this movie, for free no less, but I must say the co-sponsoring radio station's pre-movie “warm-up” that we had to endure was a little over the top (think overweight men dancing around with their shirts off). I just kept thinking does Roger Ebert have to go through this before screening a movie?

As for the film, I must say that Paul Rudd (Knocked Up, 40 Year Old Virgin) and Jason Segel (Knocked Up, Forgetting Sarah Marshall), along with writer/director John Hamburg (Meet the Parents, Zoolander), have struck gold in the theaters, yet again. Is there anything this group of guys can’t make funny? With a great supporting cast, including Jon Favreau, Andy Samberg, J.K. Simmons and Rashida Jones (The Office), the laughs don’t stop and the movie flows effortlessly throughout.

When I first heard about this movie, I seriously questioned how on earth the writers were going to do a story about a guy wanting/needing a best friend and best man for his wedding…and gaining one by going on man-dates. But, if you love comedy with absurd awkwardness, this is the movie for you. There were plenty of times watching Rudd’s character, Peter Klaven, that I wanted to close my eyes or mute the movie, because the things he did and said were just so ridiculous. I laughed, but truly felt embarrassed for him. Probably since there have been moments in my life that I’ve said some really stupid things, I could relate, but Peter took it to a new level. Of course, you have the typical stupid comedy (fart jokes and vomit) in the movie, but even these are cleverly placed and not overused. However, I think it’s always the more subtle lines and body language that gets the biggest laughs with these guys, and this movie didn’t disappoint.

I wish there had been a little more story development and slightly more camera time between Peter and fiancée Zooey (Jones), as I loved Jones on The Office. I mean really, who wouldn’t have liked to see her more…maybe taking a shower? I mean, not for me, but for all the guys watching the movie. But, this is a movie about guy relationships, so it makes complete sense, but you do find yourself asking with Peter and Syndey...why are you marrying her? One of my gold standards when watching a comedy is does it put me into a laughing fit. The fits where I can’t breathe and I’m grabbing the person next to me and tears are flowing. Segel and Rudd often accomplish this in their movies and this one did just that, especially when it came time for Peter to imitate James Bond in his leprechaun voice for Sydney while trying on tuxs for his wedding.

While I’m not sure how many guys out there truly suffer from Peter’s problem of having no close male friends (I’ve known a few on the brink), the movie still explores common dilemmas and themes facing couples trying to balance their friendships, relationships and jobs, making the story relatable to all. While technically this movie was a “man-date” for me, since I went with the other “R”, I think this would be a great comedy that the Mrs. could still relate to and enjoy.

I give I Love You, Man a Spork Rating of:

By: Christopher J. Robinson

My man-crush on Paul Rudd first began when I saw him as a crippled war veteran bound to a wheelchair in the Cider House Rules, and has only continued to blossom over the years. Rudd’s road to stardom has taken some interesting turns. His breakout role in Clueless propelled him into a few rom-com leads and a recurring role on Friends, but it was during Wet Hot American Summer that I believe Paul Rudd really fell into his comedic element. Wet Hot American Summer introduced him to the boys from The State and eventually led to Judd Apatow, who has helped turn Rudd into the comic genius that everyone wants to work with.

In I Love You, Man, Rudd plays awkward as well as Steve Carell and is even on par with the master of awkwardness, Ben Stiller. Peter Klaven’s man-dates were perfectly uncomfortable and his initial interactions with Sydney (Jason Segel) made me cringe in my seat. But I loved it. They were perfect. Writer/director John Hamburg did a brilliant job of moving Peter and Sydney from awkward and uncomfortable to a perfectly gelled bromance. Rudd and Segel have a natural chemistry that is really fun to watch.

The supporting cast in this movie is unreal. Jon Favreau, Jamie Pressly, JK Simmons, Thomas Lennon (Lt. Dangle) and fellow The State alum, Joe Lo Truglio were all great and all of them provided laughs. I feel as though adequate screen time was given to Peter and Zooey, and I didn’t need more Rashida Jones because I feel like she didn’t bring any additional comedy to the table and that she wasn’t supposed to. Jones’s character was grounded in the seriousness of her relationship and it was the job of the rest of the cast to crack us up.

Even though the plot is rather obvious and slightly predictable, the movie flows smoothly and there is no down time or plot stretching. I Love You, Man certainly has its vulgar moments, but seems rather tame compared to the like-minded Apatow releases. I loved Sydney’s man room, complete with drum kit, masturbating station, and a photo of a lizard with a cigarette shoved in its mouth. The movie is consistently funny and the laughs keep coming. There were so many quotable lines that it will probably take multiple viewings to get them all down. The humor is too inappropriate for kids, but perfect for everyone else, guys and girls alike. Between Peter’s absurd nicknames, the projectile vomiting, and Lou Ferrigno’s sleeper hold, I give I Love You, Man:

No More Paper Boarding Passes from Delta?

So, it was announced today that Delta is moving towards paperless boarding passes. What does this mean? Well according to my sources (an email from Delta which probably millions of you got as well), we can use our Web-enabled mobile devices (cell phones) as a paperless boarding pass. All the TSA agent will have to do is check your ID and scan the “electronic pass”. I’m guessing that means scanning your phone, as demonstrated above. Besides the guaranteed hiccups that TSA will present dealing with this 21st Century technology (expect full body searches), this is very promising. I don’t know how often I’m digging through a bag or backpack at the last second, with people screaming at me, trying to find my paper boarding pass. It’s one less thing I have to fumble with and lose and one less thing causing me nose bleeds.

Cities already with this grand technology from Delta are Atlanta, Minneapolis, Memphis and New York (LaGuardia). Soon to come are Vegas, Orlando and Salt Lake City. For more details go to Delta.com. I give this new Delta paperless idea, without proper testing, a Spork Rating of:

Tommorrow's Review: I Love You Man

Be sure to check in tomorrow morning as the R and R Review will post its first sneak peek movie review ever when we review I Love You, Man. Hopefully in the future, the R and R Review will be able to bring you many more reviews BEFORE the movie actually comes out. (Subject to the movie theater not screwing us over.)

24 Season 7, Episode 14

*Spoiler Alert*

BA Roof: Watching last night’s 24, I thought to myself that Jack is either the unluckiest man alive or extremely lucky. I thought at first he’s unlucky, because his wife has been killed, almost every friend of his has died, his daughter doesn’t speak to him and he is the one who always has to save the country while no one believes him. Then I thought, well, maybe he is lucky after all, since he never seems to die when everyone else bites the dust. You just know “luck” will catch up with him in the series finale. Whenever the writers and producers end the show, you won’t have Jack sailing off and enjoying the rest of his life on some island. Unless a movie is planned, of course.

I actually enjoyed last night’s episode much more than most of the others up to this point. It definitely didn’t have as much action (no blowing up the Capital) or jaw dropping plot twists like many of the others (a good thing). However, I just found the plot a little more believable (if you can imagine that). It’s not a new idea that people involved in the “defense” industry have too much to gain by war and too much to lose in peace. So, I’ve always believed it’s not out of the realm of possibilities that certain individuals involved in the military business would go to extreme measures for new weaponry technology, for war and for wanting to take over a country. I mean, it seems like every year a military guy overthrows the government in some Latin American or African country. But, you don’t often see the White House invaded in movies (I will make an exception for Mars Attacks!, because that was just funny and of course aliens can overtake anything), and never in real life, but how many times throughout human history has there been someone corrupt in the military or military industry that ruins things for a country’s leaders?

Last night that very plot twist was revealed. You also had Senator Mayer that hates Jack actually believing him (Why can’t Larry Moss believe him?). Of course, once the Senator believed Jack, he had to die. My only worry now is the show will go too fast with the plot. The writers seem to have done this the last few seasons, they get all excited about some sort of plot idea and tell it all in two or three shows. It’s premature plotjaculation. First, you have 24 episodes to lay out the plot. Second, the plot idea happens all in 24 hours. Calm down. Throw in some believable twists and strong character development. Why in the next episode is Jack already at the port stopping the shipment? Shouldn’t there be more obstacles along the way? Shouldn’t it have taken him more than an hour or two to get this information and more than 20 or 30 minutes to get to the port with the FBI hot on his trail? Besides unbelievable plotlines, my second biggest gripe with the writers is that they rush story ideas too quickly and have to come up with more garbage to fill the leftover time. Lets’ hope I’m wrong about next weeks episode. I give this week’s episode a Sporks Rating of:

Chaos at Next Top Model

What I would have given to be on the second floor watching the mayhem on Saturday afternoon at the Next Top Model auditions. Picture the scene…thousands of dimwitted model wannabes waiting for their audition when panic ensued. Someone yelled “CHEESEBURGER!” and they all screamed and ran for their lives. Okay, so no one yelled cheeseburger, but someone did yell "fire". Now, if they were inside waiting in a room with only one exit that was shut, and the room filled with smoke, I could see there being fear and panic when someone yelled “fire”. But, the models were outside. There was plenty of room to escape. And the smoke? It came from a nearby car with a little engine trouble.

I mean, unless the car was on fire itself, it couldn’t have been producing so much smoke as for anyone to believe the building was burning down. The best part was someone later yelled “gun”, in the throes of the chaos. I feel sorry for the three smart models out in the world that will forever be stereotyped by this incident. How some smoke equals a gun and everyone freaks out, I will never know. I really shouldn’t be so mean though, since there were several injured and as one victim said “Do you know how many people lost their purses…tonight?” That was the real tragedy of it all. For their crowd control abilities, I give the CW and Tyra Banks:

For the comedy of it all, I give the model dreamers:

In-Seat Power Outlets? Finally!!!

A few minutes ago, valued Delta customers, such as BA Roof and I, received an email bragging about their new non-stop service to Sydney from LAX. From the email...

"Make the trip in a spacious Boeing 777-200LR, which offers our BusinessElite® service with its state-of-the-art in-flight entertainment system; a five-course menu by celebrity chef Michelle Bernstein; a reinvented wine program; full-size pillows and duvets; and in-seat power outlets. You'll arrive rested, refreshed and ready to soak up all things Aussie."

This is really great because the only reason that I have not booked a flight to Australia is because I did not feel like I would be comfortable during the super long, half way around the globe flight. I've been scared of the tiny seats, the chances of getting stuck in between a morbidly obese person and a crying baby, those tiny pillows, and no way to charge my PSP mid-flight. For years I have said that if only Delta had in-seat power outlets I'd be en route to Sydney in a cocaine heartbeat! And now they do! That extra $2,000 I had been saving for a trip to Oz is finally getting transferred out of my ING account. Look out Claire Littleton, I'm coming for you.

Pig of the Month

Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, believes that she has an entire fleet of private military aircraft at her disposal. The taxpayers foot the bill so that Madame Speaker, along with her family and friends, can be shuttled around the country whenever she feels like it. And when the Air Force planes that Ms. Pelosi wants are not available, she gets angry.

According to a report from Judicial Watch, Nancy Pelosi has issued unprecedented demands for high-end military aircraft and wasted taxpayer resources with her last minute cancellations. Based on e-mails and other documents obtained through the Freedom of Information Act, it is apparent that Pelosi has abused the system in place to accommodate congressional leaders and treated the Air Force as her "personal airline."

Madame Speaker's office has refuted these claims by pointing to the fact that after 9/11, rules were changed that allowed the Speaker of the House to travel to his or her congressional district via military aircraft whenever possible for security reasons. Her office claims that she uses the same types of aircraft that were used by her predecessor, and quintessential banquet-fed pig, Dennis Hastert. Granted, Hastert was allowed access to a 12-seat commuter jet, while Pelosi has repeatedly requested a 42-seat Air Force carrier to take her and her staff back and forth between San Francisco, CA and Washington, DC. It should also be noted that former Speaker Newt Gingrich flew commercial while in office. Just saying.

Some of the e-mails recovered by Judicial Watch show repeated attempts by Pelosi aides to request aircraft, sometimes aggressively, and by Department of Defense officials to accommodate them.

"I think that's above and beyond what other members of Congress are doing and what is expected of our elected officials," said Jenny Small, a researcher with the group.

In one e-mail, Pelosi aide Kay King complained to the military that they had not made available any aircraft the House speaker wanted for Memorial Day recess. "It is my understanding there are NO G5s available for the House during the Memorial Day recess. This is totally unacceptable ... The Speaker will want to know where the planes are," King wrote.

In another, when told a certain type of aircraft would not be available, King wrote: "This is not good news, and we will have some very disappointed folks, as well as a very upset Speaker.

Nancy Pelosi and House democrats have lead the charge against the use of private jets by the evil, nasty, blood-sucking corporate CEOs, all the while treating the Air Force as their personal airline. Pelosi uses Air Force planes for far more than travel to and from her congressional district, and is finally being called out for it. Nancy, you are a pig and a hypocrite and you get ZERO Sporks. Good day to you, Madame Speaker.

Bristol and Levi Are No More?

Today I am in a deep depression because Lost did NOT air a new episode last night. This wasn’t a shock, since they informed us last week that they were cutting off our drug this week. So, now I have Lost withdraws this morning and almost didn’t get out of bed. So imagine how I felt when I learned turning on my computer hoping for some happy news that the fairytale marriage between Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston was off? What the heck? No caribou carriage-ride down main street Wasilla? No Canadian geese being released after the “I do”? No shooting grizzlies from a helicopter on the honeymoon?

Well, after I got over my complete shock that something like this could happen in my world, I immediately felt horrible for the conservative base that supported the Palins through the elections. What are they going to hang their hat on now? First, their star, Sarah Palin, took a huge blow after the 2008 elections. During that time they had to look the other way when they found out Bristol was having a child OUT of wedlock AND underage. Thank goodness at very least she would be getting married to the father. Ahhhh, yeah, about that. Now, Levi won’t even make an “honest” woman out of her? Besides my morning being ruined, I now imagine every hard line conservative wandering around their house aimlessly this morning in tears asking “Why, God, why ?!?!” while holding a picture from US Weekly magazine of Bristol. Oh well, at least Lost is coming back on next week. But Bristol and Levi's separation gets a thanks for ruining my morning Spork Rating of:

Mirror Lake Golf Club: Lake Course

The picture on the left was taken from the Mirror Lake website, and as far as I am concerned, is a complete lie. Mirror Lake Golf Club has two courses, the Mountain Course and the Lake Course. On Saturday, I played the Lake Course. One might assume that this picture was taken along one of the Lake Course's 18 holes, but they would be wrong. I did not see a body of water that was even 1/10th the size of the lake pictured here. Now, I understand that water levels have been historically low in Georgia over the past year or so, but the various bodies of water that I saw along the course looked more like drainage ponds than the sprawling vista pictured here.

I played from the Gold tees, totaling 6,486 yards. Most of the fairways were pretty wide open and any danger was clearly visible from the tee box. Given that it is early March, the fairways and rough were dormant and the only thing green were the greens. I found the greens to be in great shape. Most of them were large and undulating and playing very fast, which made for some interesting putts. I found that the greens rolled true and reading them was not too difficult. There was a little inconsistency with sand in the bunkers from hole to hole (I played out of 8 of them), but in decent shape nonetheless. The few holes that did play along the "lake" were the most challenging, and errant tee shots were most likely going to end up in the drink.

The signature hole, in my opinion, was the 590-yard Par 5 12th. Not because of the view, but because of the challenge. This Par 5 was straight and playing slightly downhill, with a creek/marshy area running in front of the green. The hazard made going for the green in 2 nearly impossible, unless you were able to hammer out a 330+ yard drive.

Mirror Lake is a private golf club and community. I played with someone who is a member of Cannongate Golf, of which Mirror Lake is a member course, and was able to get on for only $25. Overall, I would give the Lake Course 3.5 Sporks, but honestly, the value is unbeatable. Normally, a course like this would cost $65-$100 in greens fees, so if I ever have the chance to play it with a Cannongate member, I will certainly take them up on it. Located in Villa Rica, it's a little bit of a hike to get out there, but well worth it if you can get this rate.

Mirror Lake Golf Club
1000 Canongate Blvd Villa Rica, GA 30180
P: (770) 459-5599
F: (770) 459-9198
http://www.canongategolf.com/

Guest Review: There's Nothing Funny About Expensive Drinks and Bad Service

By Brian Seel, Guest Contributor

Last Friday I went to a comedy club at the suggestion of a friend.  Said comedy club was called The Punchline, located in Sandy Springs.  First things first, it was pouring buckets of rain and the ticket guy at the front window had no idea how to work the credit card machine.  On top of that, $5.50 was added to the price of the $20 ticket for taxes and "convenience."  I don't see what is convenient about standing in the rain for 10 minutes while this guy counted the credit card numbers on his finger.  But, we finally made it in.

This is the type of comedy club where comedians earn their stripes.  It is a pretty old and cheesy looking venue, but it's small size does make for an intimate experience between the audience and the comic.  The headliner that night was Al Madrigal, a bit actor on the show "Gary Unmarried."  I never caught the name of the comic who opened for him, but he was significantly funnier than Al.  The opener picked on several members of the audience and had a filthy vocabulary, which always makes for good entertainment.  He really had the audience in stitches.  However, Al spoke so softly that the audience had to consciously quiet down to hear every joke.  Foul #1.  This routine mostly consisted of typical family/marriage humor and lacked any outrageous, new insights into the subject matter.  Foul #2.

In spite of all this, we had a decent time.  But, not if you take into account the fact that the waitress screwed up our drink orders several times and brought us gin and tonics so bland you couldn't taste any gin (I swear they used club soda, not tonic).  On top of that, we ended up paying around $60 for 8 drinks between 2 people.  Whenever I go to a bar, if the service is terrible, I at least expect good drinks.  Big Foul #3.

Overall, I would recommend going to The Punchline only if there is a great comic with some proven track record headlining and you don't intend on getting drunk.

24 Season 7, 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.

***SPOILER ALERT!***

BA Roof:

To enjoy 24, I have to realize it’s just fantasy. I can easily do this with Lost, a show built around the supernatural, time travel and faith. But, 24 is supposed to be grounded in current day reality. In the first few seasons of 24, all the events seemed plausible. Then with every subsequent season, the writers felt they had to one-up the previous one in the disaster department. I’m not sure what else they can do after last night. In last night’s episode a small group of soldiers from a fictional African country overtook the White House. Let’s pause. The White House is probably the most heavily guarded building in the world. The only chance you have of overtaking it is probably completely destroying it in a covert coordinated effort. There is no “overtaking” it.

How did the writers of 24 get around this? They created an inside person, of course. A mystery person (John Voight) that appears to have access to all the security codes and White House information aiding the soldiers (Note: the soldiers wore camo military gear, not stealthy black clothing that one might wear at night when not in the jungle). I assume we will learn more about this man in the second half of the season. If you were not going to destroy the building, but simply take it over, I guess an underground attack would be the most vulnerable method. But, since it is the most vulnerable, don’t you think there are some pretty strong safeguards in that department? Not in the world of 24.

I could go off on a tangent about how the FBI could have prevented the underwater/underground attack by finding the boat from the location Agent Walker gave them. It was only going about 5 mph. But, it is the government we are talking about. Now, we have the proposition that only 10 to 15 soldiers are going to overtake the White House. God knows how many Secret Service, NSA agents, troops, etc. are guarding the White House (no idea what happened to them all). Plus you have Jack Bauer. Why did he seem so helpless? Why did everyone seem so helpless? Mr. Robinson makes some excellent points in his post about how the lock down room was supplied. But, why did the Secret Service agents look like they couldn’t even shoot a gun? There was probably a reason…the entire government mole issue that consumed the first half of the season and rendered every agency untrustworthy. But, the writers forgot to explain this fact.

Finally, in the conclusion of the show, you have a Vice President unwilling to go in and save the President, because he isn’t sure whether they have captured her. Um, I’m guessing the White House is bugged, wired, videotaped, more than you would want to know, so there is no way to monitor what is happening? Somehow an FBI desk agent can intercept cell phone calls and decode computer files in a matter of seconds from her desk, but no one can determine what happened to the President in the White House?

Now, while all these things bothered me last night, I did enjoy watching the show. I just pretended it was pure fantasy. After that, I was entertained and want to know what happens next week. So did I stop watching the show? No. Have I lost a lot of respect for it? Yes. But I can’t stop watching this train wreck, like I can’t stop watching the stock market drop on a daily basis. I give the two hour episode a Spork Rating of:







Christopher J. Robinson:

Once again, it’s the little things that bother me. As BA Roof has pointed out, the first step is recognizing that ‘24’ has become completely fantastical. At this point, I would not be surprised if Jon Voight’s character turned out to be a magic wizard or a shape shifter. Although a magic wizard would have been able to throw a bull’s-eye after exclaiming “Now, let’s throw some darts!”

So here are few of the little things that bothered me about last night’s episode of 24:

-General Juma’s knife was so dull that it didn’t even slice the cheek of the President’s daughter as he ran it across her face. Rather pathetic, Juma.
-Jack was quickly able tor recognize that Juma’s end game was killing the President and making a mockery of the United States, and that he was very willing to die to achieve this. Yet, not a single FBI or Secret Service Agent outside of the White House was able to come to this conclusion and storm the rebels.
-The only security system that Juma’s men had to get around was a short drainage tunnel that was protected by some lasers. I saw on Myth Busters once that no one even uses these anymore because they are so easy to get around. So why does the White House still use them? They weren’t even invisible.
-The “lock down room” in the White House has not been set up with a way to contact anyone outside of it? There wasn’t even anything cool in there. Only a small tool box. No guns, no explosives, no tear gas and gas masks, no teleportation devices.
-What happened to all of the US soldiers dressed in camo that were already inside the White House when they took down Jack?
-Why don’t characters in 24 feel pain when grabbed by the arm that has a bullet lodged in it?

There were countless other instances of very minor things that could have very easily been made to seem realistic. I can’t wait to see what happens in Season 8. Jack will probably have to diffuse a nuclear bomb that is in orbit around the Earth, or battle aliens that have infiltrated the CIA. I wouldn’t even be surprised if Season 8 was handed over to Disney’s Pixar studios.

However, in light of the fact that 24 in no longer grounded in reality, Monday's two hour block was rather entertaining, and as the other R points out, we will continue to watch. But that doesn't mean I am going to love it. The lazy writing will still frustrate me. 6:00 pm - 8:00 pm gets...

Holy heck, No Chicken McNuggets?

Dear boys and girls,

Yes, McDonalds running out of Chicken McNuggets is a problem. Maybe even an “emergency” for those of you who are hung over from drinking too much of grandpa’s medicine last night. However, your local McDonalds running out of Chicken McNuggets does not warrant a call to 911. See, boys and girls, there is a difference in the type of emergencies out there. Option A. You accidentally cut off your arm, because you mistakenly thought chainsaws only cut wood, not flesh. Option B. You believe the new “Biggie” size at your local Wendy’s is false advertising (come on that size couldn’t feed a starving Ethiopian). Only Option A warrants a call to 911. See the difference, now? If only this post had been up in time for poor Latreasa Goodman. But, for not giving up and taking no for an answer I give Latreasa a Spork Rating of: