One Spork: A One Spork Rating will tell you that something is dreadful. If it's an airline, there's good chance you've been on the runway for four hours, the seats are too small, all of the food and drinks cost something, you've been bumped for the second time in two days and all future flights are delayed. Think US Airways.
Two Sporks: A Two Spork Rating usually means something is just mediocre. If you were staying in a Two Spork hotel, you are probably watching a 25-inch tube television that only gets 15 channels (five of which are guides), the towels are rough and usually only three are provided when four are needed, and the bed is hard as a rock, but there are no bed bugs or roaches sleeping with you.
Three Sporks: A Three Spork Rating is the lowest of the ratings that can get you recommended by the R and R Review. This means a dinner was tasty, but not memorable. Think of winning a Toyota Camry on the Price is Right...you are happy for the reliability, but aren't wowed by the image you now portray.
Four Sporks: A Four Spork Rating is given to something that is truly great, but for whatever reason it is a step short of perfection. Think of going on a date with a jaw-droppingly beautiful woman/man that has a great sense of humor and makes you feel completely comfortable around them, but when you get back to their place they own a cat.
Five Sporks: This is the hardest rating to achieve. A Five Spork Rating is not thrown around like a four year old kid in a bouncy house. It is reserved for perfection or as near perfection one can get in its particular medium and/or genre. Think George Washington meets Abe Lincoln.
We also use half sporks and that's pretty self-explanatory. If you need a guide for that, you probably shouldn't be reading our blog.
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