Who Will Replace Urban Meyer?

Well, it's that time of year again. Charlie Weis is on the hot seat at Notre Dame and Urban Meyer is again the coach in waiting. What makes this year different? Weis is as done as that turkey in Christmas Vacation. So, what does that mean for Florida fans? Unfortunately, a very likely chance Urban is gone. This is no Billy to Kentucky scenario. Urban is Notre Dame football. He wanted to go there after Utah, but his wife said no. It is his dream job, as he has announced to the world. Florida fans, set yourself up for major disappointment.

So, with this devastating news and after making a few calls to some agents, ADs, sports writers and people generally in the "know", I've come up with a short list of Florida's likely replacements. Here is the order in which Jeremy Foley, Florida's AD, should make the call:

1. Ron Zook: An obvious choice. Been a head coach in the SEC and Big 10. Need I really say more? He was even Florida's head coach once and a stellar recruiter. The only thorn in his side? Coaching. But, he has obviously remedied that with Illinois. They did go to the Rose Bowl (a few years ago) by the way.

2. Lane Kiffin: Only 34 and already been an NFL and SEC coach. I'm also impressed with the coaches' first year stats. He sits at 5-5, when everyone expected him to be like...5-5. He has a big mouth, like the Ol' Ball Coach, and Florida fans love that kind of stuff. Additionally, he keeps a well disciplined team without one arrest all yea....oops, strike that.

3. Charlie Weis: I hear he may be available to take the job. It's just a hunch. Who can deny this offensive genius if some school is foolish enough to let him go? Just one problem...Defense...and weight.

4. Ted Roof: He has my last name, a major plus. He once was head coach at Duke, just like the Steve Spurrier, the Heisman and National Championship winner. Can someone say...similarities?? Also, he kind of looks like a heftier Steve Martin. There are just too many things saying this is so right. I hope Auburn can part ways.

5. Doug Peters: Former Lake Mary High School head coach and current athletic director. So innovative, he found a way out of a 0-10 record...cancellation of a game due to inclement weather. This is the kind of innovative leader we need at Florida. First the Fun N Gun, then the spread and now...GOD. Only problem is, why would he leave such a successful high school program for Florida?

Don't worry Gator fans...if Urban leaves, it's obvious we will be in good hands.

Where the Wild Things Are

I must admit, I don’t really remember much about the book “Where the Wild Things Are”, as the last time I read it (or probably when I had it read to me as I was illiterate until the age of 20), I think I was four years old. However, I do remember the illustrations of the “wild things” and after seeing Spike Jonze’s movie, I was amazed at his imagination and artistic detail in bringing them to life.

The movie seems to be made for adults who enjoyed the book as children, but now better comprehend (at least some of us) the complexities of what Max and his mother are going through, which causes him to escape to a distant land. Where the Wild Things Are is a very artistic movie, so if you are hoping to be thoroughly entertained by scenes plush with action and dialogue, you will be disappointed. Instead, Jonze captures the purity of child’s imagination. The imagery, especially of the Carol’s (James Gandolfini) model and Max’s fort, is spectacular and I almost felt transported to my own childhood mind. The acting is superb by both the humans, Max Records (“Max”) and Catherine Keener (“Mom”), and the the monsters, voiced by actors such as Gandolfini, Catherine O’Hara (“Judith”), Forest Whitaker (“Ira”) and Chris Cooper (“Douglas”).

The only downfall of the movie might have been its ambition. Making a film from a book that consists of only ten sentences and staying true to the story can be quite difficult, if not impossible. The book is meant to capture only five or ten minutes of a child’s imagination, while the movie must keep them entertained for an hour and a half. Because of this, I don’t recommend this movie for children much younger than eight years old. I’m not sure if they would get it. The catch-22 is that older children might not remain entertained during the long stretches that lack action or even much dialogue. The movie’s beauty comes in its imagery and deep message that only adults may truly be able to cherish. Has Where the Wild Things Are missed its targeted audience? Not sure, but they found it with me.

I give Where the Wild Things Are a Spork rating of:

College Football Top 20 Week 8

Because we punished Florida the week before, with a near loss at home to an unranked Arkansas, the same happened to Alabama for a near loss at home to an unranked Tennessee. We also got analysis from Lee Corso on what really happened to Arkansas...they just shot their wad. Here's this week's Top 20.

BA Roof's Top 20

1) Florida

2) Alabama

3) Texas

4) Iowa

5) Cincinnati

6) Oregon

7) USC

8) LSU

9) TCU

10) Georgia Tech

11) Penn State

12) Houston

13) Oklahoma State

14) Pittsburgh

15) West Virginia

16) Virginia Tech

17) South Carolina

18) Miami, FL

19) Ohio State

20) Boise State

Christopher J. Robinson's Top 20

1) Florida

2) Alabama

3) Texas

4) LSU

5) Oregon

6) USC

7) TCU

8) Iowa

9) Cincinnati

10) Boise State

11) Georgia Tech

12) Penn State

13) Houston

14) Ok State

15) Virginia Tech

16) Pittsburgh

17) Miami FL

18) Ohio State1

9) South Carolina

20) Utah

Top 20 College Football Week 7

Florida players must have read my last post and decided to prove me wrong. Not only did they come in with another conservative game plan, but the players couldn't execute it very well. We also learned on Saturday that Texas looks even worse and Alabama is strong, but not as strong as some thought as their offense struggled for three quarters against South Carolina (everyone but Ingram). While the SEC is having a "down" year, so is the Big 12, Big 10 and pretty much every other conference...so does that mean it's "down"?

Some good news for Florida State and Bobby Bowden, they didn't lose last weekend...of course, they didn't win either. Bad news for Ron Zook and Illinois...Ron Zook is still the Illinois head coach and hasn't figured out how to implement his top secret take no prisoners game plan. That's because he hasn't found it, yet.

For the first time this year, Florida is no longer on the top of our polls. If they can find an offense somewhere, they will have a chance to return, although it doesn't really matter much since they will most likely play Alabama in the SEC Championship game.

BA Roof's Top 20

1) Alabama

2) Florida

3) Iowa

4) Texas

5) Cincinnati

6) Miami, FL

7) Oregon

8) USC

9) LSU

10) TCU

11) Georgia Tech

12) Houston

13) Penn State

14) Oklahoma State

15) Pittsburg

16) Virginia Tech

17) Texas Tech

18) BYU

19) South Carolina

20) Boise State

Christopher J. Robinson's Top 20

1) Alabama

2) Florida

3) Iowa

4) Texas

5) Oregon

6) Miami FL

7) USC

8) Cincinnati

9) Boise State

10) TCU

11) LSU

12) Georgia Tech

13) Penn State

14) Houston

15) Oklahoma State

16) Virginia Tech

17) BYU

18) South Carolina

19) Texas Tech

20) Ohio State

TOP 20 College Football Poll

A big question developing is whether Florida deserves to be ranked No. 1? I think we, like many others, have placed them there because they are the defending champions, lost few players (although some key ones on offense) and are still undefeated playing in the SEC. However, Alabama has played more "tough" teams thus far and remain unbeaten. If we went solely on who teams have played to this date...Alabama should be ranked No. 1. If we add returning players and what we anticipate from the team...it appears to be Florida. Some people think Florida's offense has been bad this year. But, there is a difference in being a bad offense and being a conservative offense. The Florida offensive players are making the plays (unlike FSU receivers and O-line). It's the Florida game plan, whether right or wrong, since playing too conservative can be costly (See Ron Zook). If Urban doesn't open up the offense a little bit on Arkansas this week, we may have to bump Bama to the No. 1 spot.

BA Roof's Top 20

1) Florida

2) Alabama

3) Texas

4) Virginia Tech

5) Iowa

6) Cincinnati

7) Miami

8) Oregon

9) USC

10) LSU

11) Ohio State

12) Nebraska

13) Penn State

14) South Carolina

15) South Florida

16) TCU

17) Georgia Tech

18) Houston

19) Oklahoma State

20) Boise State

Christopher J. Robinson's Top 20

1) Florida

2) Alabama

3) Texas

4) Virginia Tech

5) Cincinnati

6) Miami FL

7) Boise State

8) Oregon

9) Iowa

10) LSU

11) USC

12) Ohio State

13) Kansas

14) Penn State

15) Nebraska

16) South Florida

17) South Carolina

18) TCU

19) Georgia Tech

20) Houston

Guest Review: The Office Wedding Episode

Dear friend of the R&R Review and fellow blogger Trip Reed has offered us his review of last night's episode of The Office...

I would like to preface my review of "the wedding episode" with my thoughts on The Office so far. I have actually been watching The Office since its debut in America, though to be honest, I don't exactly remember what my initial thoughts were of the show. The short first season was pretty rocky as the writers didn't really hit their stride until the second season, but I was in from the beginning.

I think that I really came to appreciate the show when a co-worker let me borrow her copy of the British version of The Office back in the beginning of 2006. Being able to watch that helped me get a better grasp on the origins of the show and its model characters, and to better appreciate the uniquely American perspective. It was also good to be able to contrast Tim and Dawn with Jim and Pam because for me, and for a lot of other people, that relationship is really what got me hooked on the show. I had a bit of an unrequited love situation happening at the time, and I enjoyed being able to commiserate with Tim and Jim.

While I sometimes wish that the British version had been longer because it was just so good, as the American version of The Officehas pushed far past the 12 episodes of the original, I appreciate more and more how smart Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant were to end their show when they did. It had a happy ending, but was able to wrap it up with dignity. As the American version drags into its sixth season, there are sharks being jumped left and right. Pam going to graphic design school; Pam becoming a sales person; Michael and Holly; Charles Miner; the Michael Scott Paper Company; the engagement; the pregnancy; and now the wedding. The "less is more" aesthetic of the British Office is what continues to make it excellent while the far-out nature of the American version continues to wear on viewers. Most importantly for me, while watching the British version, I can really imagine it as a documentary. For the American version, this concept seems to have been pretty much thrown out the window (except for when it is convenient for the writers) even though this was the central premise of the entire seri

In spite of my griping, I do continue to watch The Office weekly, though along with (or perhaps, because of) the endless parade of plot twists, its level of funniness (is that a word?) has continued to drop since, oh, probably the end of season three. I will be quick to admit, though, that season six has proven to be surprisingly funny so far. And it is with that, that we finally come to my review of "the wedding episode."

Being an hour long, I wasn't quite sure what to expect, though after seeing all of those sappy-looking commercials, I didn't have high hopes. However, as I watched, I did get quite a few laughs. Michael has a classic cringe-inducing moment during the rehearsal dinner speech, and his lodging situation (or lack thereof) was pretty funny as well. Suffice it to say, I was rather enjoying the episode until about the last 10 or 15 minutes. **Spoiler alert** Once the wedding dance scene kicked in, I was completely turned off. This was one of the most asinine things I have seen on a comedy in a long time. Again, keeping in mind that the point of the show is to be a documentary about real people working at a paper company, this was completely unrealistic and utterly absurd. And then to mix in mawkish scenes and Jim and Pam getting married on the Maid of the Mist--completely stupid (besides, how did they get dry so fast?). I think I saw the Fonz jumping over their boat on a motorcycle at one point.

On top of all of the nonsense that was going on there at the end, did anyone actually have an emotional reaction to them getting married? The whole Jim and Pam thing long ago ran out of excitement for me. I think the last time I actually had any interest in that relationship was in the season finale of season three when Jim interrupts Pam's interview to ask her out. While it is probably impossible to drag out an unrequited love story for 6+ seasons, I think that this again highlights the wisdom in ending a show after a specific number of episodes. When writers know their time line, they can create an actual story arc instead of an endlessly wagging story wet noodle.

So in conclusion, was the wedding episode as bad as some might have feared? No, it wasn't; it was actually pretty funny, though for me, the entire wedding sequence was irrelevant. However, I am giving this episode 2-1/2 sporks. It would have been 4 sporks, but the last ten minutes really blew it and cost the show 1-1/2 sporks.

Thanks to Chris Robinson and Mr. Roof for letting me post here.

R and R Top 20: College Football Week 5

The leaves are beginning to change up north as we complete a third of the college football season. Some teams are still in the hunt, while others are anticipating next season (sorry FSU fans, you might as well hold out for the 2012 season). We are possibly going to get another epic match up in Baton Rouge this Saturday night as the Gators take on the Tigers. There are more questions surrounding these two teams than David Letterman's sex life. Will Tebow play, is LSU a good team or a lucky team? Today will only have my rankings, as the other R is currently on assignment in Hawaii, which reminds me that I need to finish (write) the rest of my Hawaii posts. Mr. Robinson will be reporting on the islands of Oahu and Hawai'i (Big Island). This week, my biggest challenge was where to rank the Big 12 teams (or not). There are several teams still undefeated, but have been playing JV football teams. We should find out more this week as some of them are actually playing real college teams. I still refuse to rank Boise State higher than 20, no matter how good Oregon plays. Come on, you have to play more than one real game a year.

BA Roof's Top 20

1. Florida
2. Alabama
3. Texas
4. LSU
5. Virginia Tech
6. Iowa
7. Cincinnati
8. Auburn
9. Miami
10. USC
11. Oregon
12. Ohio State
13. Penn State
14. South Carolina
15. TCU
16. Georgia Tech
17. Wisconsin
18. Kansas
19. Michigan
20. Boise State

Corky St. Clair is Real

The networks are now pushing their new fall lineups down our throats, but I must say that this year’s freshman programs have been a lot better than the last couple of years. While I have enjoyed the new comedies Glee and Modern Family (though still not replacing Arrested Development) and am hopeful that FlashForward will be more like Lost than Fringe (sorry, when things get super Sci Fi and not a shred of it based on any science or reality, I tend to tune out…and yes, an island moving through time is plausible). But I think the real winner is not on any of the networks, but on TLC. You got it, the cable channel that has brought us the Jon and Kate saga has a true gem in its midst. They have found the real Corky St. Clair.

TLC’s new show, King of the Crown, follows Cy Franks (the real Corky) "the" pageant coach in South Carolina. This is reality show gold. No one, not even Christopher Guest, could quasi script a better show. For all you Waiting for Guffman fans, your prayers have been answered and dreams have come true…Corky does exist and he lives on Wednesday nights on TLC. If Cy doesn’t win you over...I don't know what would.

King of the Crown on TLC, 9pm Wednesdays

R and R Top 20: College Football Week 4

It was another crazy week for college football. More top 10 teams fell (Is Oregon that good or was Cal that bad?) which is making it difficult to decide how to rank the top 20 and which loss/win is more impressive and important. We also saw a nasty injury to Tim Tebow, which is sure to please Gator haters around the world. I understand why people don't like Tebow (envy), but you can't discount that he is a great college football player and an amazing human. Florida's ranking at number one in our polls definitely comes under some dark clouds from Mordor. Lucky for them, they have a bye this week to nurse some injuries before they go to LSU for a tough road game. As much as I am a Gator Fan, Bama is creeping closer to that No. 1 spot.

Here are our polls for this week:

BA Roof Top 20:

1. Florida

2. Alabama

3. Texas

4. Virginia Tech

5. LSU

6. Iowa

7. Cincinnati

8. USC

9. Oklahoma

10. Auburn

11. Houston

12. TCU

13. Michigan

14. Miami

15. Ohio State

16. Oregon

17. Georgia

18. South Carolina

19. Penn State

20. Boise State

Christopher J. Robinson Top 20:

1. Florida

2. Alabama

3. Texas

4. Virginia Tech

5. Oklahoma

6. Iowa

7. Cincinnati

8. LSU

9. Oregon

10. Boise State

11. Houston

12. USC

13. Michigan

14. Kansas

15. TCU

16. Miami

17. South Carolina

18. Ohio State

19. Penn State

20. OK State

Christopher J. Robinson's Best of Atlanta 2009

This list may cause controversy, knife fights, stomach grumblings, or a massive increase in revenue for said eateries. Either way, these are a few of my favorite casual dining spots that won’t break the bank. I haven’t been to every restaurant in Atlanta, but I have been to enough of them to make an educated decision. There may be some local bias, hell, I may have even been paid off, but this is just one award-winning critic’s opinion.

Best Burger: Six Feet Under’s Black n’ Blue Burger

This mouth-watering, gut-busting slab of red meat may be the best I’ve ever had. This burger is served on a toasted bun with blue cheese, fried leeks & fresh chopped spinach and comes with a side of Six Feet’s famous home style potato chips. I like to get a side of their salsa verde to dip the chips in. Holy schnikees. $8.

Two locations:
Grant Park (Across from the Oakland Cemetery, hence the name)
437 Memorial Drive SE, Atlanta, GA 30312

Westside (Near GA Tech)
685 11th Street, Atlanta, GA 30318


Runner-up: The Vortex


Best Tacos: Across the Street

The self-proclaimed “Best Dressed Tacos in Town” are just that. To call them anything else would be heresy. You can either get 2 tacos with a side of rice and beans or 3 tacos. I go with 3. There are plenty of fillings to choose from: fish, chicken, steak, pork with pickled red onions, beans, avocado, chicken tenders, fried tofu, and tempeh. I typically go with chicken, steak, and pork. These savory Mexican delights come served on flour tortillas with shredded greens, pico de gallo, sour cream and feta cheese. Feta cheese! So f-ing good. Pardon my English. You can go vegan if that’s what blows your hair back. Their chips and salsa are pretty darn good as well. You will not be disappointed. $10.

Inman Park
668 Highland Ave NE, Atlanta, GA 30312


Runner-up: Taqueria del Sol


Best Pizza: Fellini’s Pizza

If you’ve lived in Atlanta for more than a week and you are under the age of 40 then you’ve had Fellini’s pizza. I don’t need to say much here. It is an Atlanta staple. They’re open late (2am) and a great way to load up on carbs to absorb booze. Slices are cheap (under 3 bucks). The White Pizza is ridonkulous.

Locations: all over the ATL.

Runner-up: Camellis


Best Wings: Brewhouse Café

For the most part, wings are wings, and in general, Atlanta doesn’t have the best wings scene. There certainly are terrible some terrible wings out there. I’ve had wings with almost no meat on them, wings with the occasional feather sticking out, and wings that are 90% fried bread. That being said, it’s hard to make the leap into the upper echelon of wing quality. Brewhouse has done this. The wings are not breaded, plump with chicken, and come smothered in your choice of a variety of sauces: chipotle hot, Jamaican jerk, lemon pepper, hot blaz-in asian, kickin ranch, honey bbq, garlic hot, the thai wing, and chipotle bbq. My personal faves are the thai wings. 10 for $8.25 or 20 for $14.95. I also kind of have a thing for one of the bartenders here.

Little 5 Points
401 Moreland Ave, Atlanta, GA 30307


Runner-up: Taco Mac


Best Beer Selection: Taco Mac Metropolis

140 beers on draft
280+ in the bottle
50 HD televisions

Need I say more?

933 Peachtree Street NE, Atlanta, GA 30309


Runner-up: Brick Store Pub



This list is short, sweet, and a stoner’s dream come true. I’m sure that in the coming weeks, BA Roof will roll out a more elegant, fine-dining ‘Best Of Atlanta’ list. Until then, enjoy some really great food and beer on the cheap. Please leave comments with your own opinions or other places to try that I may not have been to yet.

Cheers.

photo taken from caroline smith here.

R and R Top 20: College Football

We are going to do our best to rank what we see as the top 20 teams out there right now. There is sure to be plenty of debate, which is what we want (and expect) between college football fans. We tried to recognize teams that have surprised us and not put too much weight on national reputation. We also won't be afraid to make drastic moves week to week, to reflect what's really happening on the field.

Additionally, a lot has been said about the top ranked team in our poles, the Florida Gators, after their less than impressive win over Tennessee. While I agree there are some potential vulnerabilities on offense, take a second to remember that Jeff Demps and Aaron Hernandez were isolated with flu symptoms all week and Demps played with a 101 fever, receiver Deonte Thompson didn't play because of a hamstring injury and receiver Riley Cooper had a pinched nerve. Did Florida make mistakes, sure. Does this game mean they are not the number one team...only if you are an Alabama fan. I think we need to see a few more games to determine if Florida is the team we thought, or if the offensive woes will ruin their bid for a third national championship in four years.

With that, here are our Top 20 lists.

BA Roof:

1. Florida

2. Alabama

3. Texas

4. Miami

5. California

6. LSU

7. Penn State

8. Cincinnati

9. Ole Miss

10. Auburn

11. USC

12. Michigan

13. Virginia Tech

14. Oklahoma

15. Ohio State

16. North Carolina

17. Oklahoma State

18. Houston

19. Washington

20. Florida State

Christopher J. Robinson:

1. Florida

2. Alabama

3. Texas

4. California

5. Ole Miss

6. Penn State

7. Miami (FL)

8. Boise State

9. LSU

10. Cincinnati

11. Oklahoma

12. Virginia Tech

13. USC

14. Florida State

15. Ohio State

16. Oregon

17. TCU

18. Houston

19. Kansas

20. Michigan

Judgment Day Arrives: Tennessee vs. Florida

The very first ("real") post of the R and R Review detailed Lane Kiffin's arrival at the University of Tennessee. We learned quickly in the SEC that Lane has a big mouth and it appears, as of last weekend, Lannie Boy can't back it up. Judgment day is finally here. Saturday is the big matchup between the most hated team in America outside of Gator Country and the team that everyone in the SEC loves to poke fun at.

Well, one of the R and R Review's contacts located this great little nugget. It's only fitting that Lane gets pissed on by drunk Gator fans in one of the dirtiest bars (but one of the best) in Gainesville...Balls. That's right, a bar called Balls where we used to get pissed when 2 dollar double bourbon doubled in price to 4 dollars on game day weekends. Don't even ask what type of bourbon was poured into those drinks...it didn't matter. The label said bourbon, they were doubles and were only 2 DOLLARS.

Now, I'm usually a very reserved Gator Fan (as reserved as they can be) and don't go around yelling at opposing fans saying we are going to beat your ass today, your sleep with your brother, etc. I'm always concerned if I say too much, I'm going to ruin it all for our team. But, this weekend, I'm making an exception. We have beaten Tennessee the last four times and unless we have an Ole Miss collapse tomorrow, it's gonna be five. The series is currently tied at 19 games a piece and the Gators are going to take the lead. Thank you Lane for heating up the rivalry again, even if the outcome will be the same tomorrow.

Go Gators.

Kanye West wins the Classi Award at MTV Awards

So what's with these recent outbursts and interruptions during speeches? We had the "You Lie" from Representative Wilson interrupting President Obama's address to Congress last week, Serena Williams losing control at the U.S. Open and last night we saw Kanye West interrupt Taylor Swift's acceptance speech to basically say, "Yeah, you were good, but Beyonce was better." Have Americans lost their class??

This made me reflect back to when some friends and I decided (maybe during a bachelor party) that there are two kinds of "classy" people. You have true "classy" people, the old money types from Palm Beach, and you have "classi" people, the new money types from Boca Raton. Classi with an "i" was developed from stripper names, since they're never classy, but sometimes pretend to be on a pole and love (so I've been told) ending their names with an "i" (ex: Candi, Mysti) rather than standard "y".

An example for those still confused: Drinking French wine on a sail boat is classy. Drinking Boone's Farm on a bass boat is classi.

Obviously Kanye West didn't go up on stage to upset Swift. However, his drunken interruption was definitely in the "classi" category and reminded me of Steve Buscemi's character in the Wedding Singer. I sure hope more people start watching Mad Men to see how classy people should act. That's right, you need to dress well and use proper etiquette while getting drunk and cheating on your spouse. Kanye West certainly wins the Classi Award this week. Sorry Britney, I'm sure you'll reclaim it next week.

Vacation Destination Review: Hawaii Overview

The R and R Review was generous enough to give me a modest stipend and let me travel all the way to Hawaii this year in our attempts to really expand our vacation coverage. It was tough leaving my villa in Italy to make the trip, but I managed. I thought to myself, maybe this trip will make us the next Frommer's? I’m pretty confident we are close…as soon as those credit markets unfreeze. Regardless, the R and R Review decided we needed a second Vacation Destination Review (see the Vacation Destination Review of Door County, Wisconsin). On this trip, I visited the islands of Oahu, Kauai and Maui. If this were one review of all three islands, I think the article would be a bit too long (it already is). So, instead I’m going to break it up over the next few days (who am I kidding, the next few weeks), but really focus on Kauai and Maui. Next month, we will have expanded coverage of Oahu and Hawai’i (the “Big Island”) when the other R makes his visit to the 50th state.

Getting There:

No way around it, you have a long flight ahead of you. There is something a little disappointing when you fly ten hours and are still in the United States. Two years ago I flew eight and a half hours and made it to London (yes, I’m trying to brag that I travel a lot). However, when you step off the plane and see the lush tropical mountains as a backdrop to Honolulu, you realize this is not your typical state. We booked our flight through Delta, and if you read this blog, you might think I’m some former lover of the CEO or scorned employee, since I often review and criticize the airline. My focus on this particular company isn’t because of lost love or a vendetta, but simply the fact they have a stronghold on the Atlanta market. So, of course, I flew Delta to Honolulu. Was it blissful? No.

I can’t criticize Delta too much, because their plane (the Atlanta to LA leg) was actually pretty nice. They had non-cloth seats (this way I can see the bugs or what’s been spilled) and had television sets with on-demand movies and satellite television at every seat. The roughly four and a half hour flight truly went by fast after watching a movie and some real time television shows. Then came disaster. Our connecting flight was a Northwest flight. Since Delta is in the middle of merging with this Minnesota airline, there were bound to be hiccups. Besides the fact that our entire itinerary was wrong (said we only had an hour and a half layover, but was actually scheduled for a four hour layover), the real pain was when we got on the plane. The seats were the dirty, rough cloth fabric and there were only small televisions every five or six rows. This is fine on a two hour flight…but a five and a half hour flight over the Pacific? I want choices. I want WiFi. I don’t want to be forced to watch the Soloist (which was horrible) and reruns of Two and a Half Men.

I thought it couldn’t get much worse, and then I was proved wrong on the return flight on a Northwest 747. They still had ashtrays at every seat and a one grainy projection screen for each set of 100 passengers. I kept seeing promos for Mad Men on the flight and thought maybe they were pushing the 1960’s theme a bit too far with this relic of a plane. So, until Delta completely overhauls the Northwest sky buses, avoid any flight bearing a Northwest mention to the islands. TRUST ME.

Things to Do:

Okay, if you can’t find something to do on Hawaii, then you need to just forward me all your vacation time. There’s cultural stops, movie sights, hiking, water sports, relaxing on one of the many luxurious beaches or if you are in Honolulu, anything that a midsized city normally provides (i.e. nightlife, museums, etc.). I was surprised with the size of Honolulu and to discover that nearly a million people live on Oahu, which is pretty much just Honolulu or suburbs of Honolulu. One of the things that can be luring about Hawaii, is it’s a tropical paradise intersecting with normal everyday American life. If you travel to Hawaii and spend your entire time at Waikiki Beach, you really wasted your money, because a flight to Miami Beach would have been a lot less. My point being, when you go to Hawaii its easy to just pick a mega resort on a crowded beach for a week and say “I went to Hawaii”. While it’s fine to do this, you are really short changing yourself of the beauty of the islands if you don’t rent a car and explore your island (or islands) that you are visiting.

Before embarking on the trip, I read other websites that said you really needed to dedicate a week to every island (and not to island hop). I went to three islands in eight days, so I ignored the stupid advice. Sure, it would be nice to dedicate a week to each island…even a month. But, we all can’t be those kids on Gossip Girl who don’t need to attend school or work and have barrels of money lying around in trust funds waiting to be spent. Plus, I don’t intend on using all my vacation days for the next seven years traveling to Hawaii. There are too many other exotic or unique locations that I want to visit before I die. So, yes you can visit more than an island in a week. Just manage your expectations and your itinerary and remember…it’s a vacation, not a checklist.

My recommendation: really decide what you want out of the trip. Beautiful resorts? Outdoor activity? Combination of both? I decided, since we have so many readers, to do a combination. So, I picked Kauai and Maui (with a 24 hour layover on Oahu). They couldn’t have been more different and I felt I got the best of both worlds of Hawaii. My only tip…do the active part of the vacation first, so you feel relaxed when you leave.

Where to Stay:

I will get into more detail when I review the individual islands. Remember, Hawaii is generally expensive. However, there are many different options. If you are taking your family or don’t want to spend a small fortune, you can find condos to rent at various price ranges. Some are much more luxurious than others. If you want that luxury resort, there are plenty of those too, but on some of the islands, the options are more limited. We stayed at a mega family resort, a combination condo/hotel resort and a luxury resort to get a taste of what Hawaii has to offer. We definitely had a favorite.

Where to Eat:

Meals out can be really expensive in Hawaii. First you have restaurants catering to the resort crowd. At these places, imagine one of the more expensive places to eat in your city and double the bill. That’s what you can expect to pay. Part of it is because food is just more expensive on an island, but Hawaii is geared to ripping of tourists and their wallets. There are some great dinning locations, but they’re often not at the resort and their bills are usually less. So, when looking for a place try to avoid eating at the ones located right in your hotel every night.

Next Hawaii Review: Kauai, the Na Pali Coast and Waimea Canyon.

Havana Sandwich Shop: CONFIRMED

Last week I informed all three people that read this blog that Atlanta's Havana Cuban Sandwich Shop was coming back to Buford Highway. I'm happy to report that the photograph above is confirmation that it indeed is coming soon. We must thank the R and R Review's Cuban investigative reporter for this one. As you can see, this place is a new location, at the corner of Clairmont and Buford, and is just minutes from their old one. Stay tuned for details about their "grand re-opening".

Havana Sandwich Shop to Reopen

The whispers have become louder that the Havana Sandwich Shop, which burned down (circumstances surrounding the Canton restaurant and the fire at the old location are strange at best, but I don't want to be sued) almost a year ago, is reopening very soon close to its old location. For those of you who frequented this Cuban sandwich shop, I'm sure you too hope that parades will fill the streets on the day it opens. Havana had great sandwiches and meals at very reasonable prices and when they left their old Buford location, it left a HUGE gap in Atlanta's Cuban cuisine.

I'm happy that a great establishment is coming back safely inside the perimeter. Hopefully, they've learned their "lesson" and will "prevent" their new digs from burning down. I really feel that their opening will be a small step forward in opening normal relations with the real Cuba. Just a feeling.

Old Havana Sandwich Shop Spork Rating:

R and R Review beats TMZ: Regis sighting in Hawaii

If you all were following my twitter posts, you would know that the R and R Review enjoyed a nice dinner with (next to) Regis Philbin, his wife Joy and two other unidentified couples at Ferraro's Bar e Restorante located at the Four Season's Resort in Maui. My post was last week while only today has TMZ reported his sighting.

I would have done an in depth interview with Regis and discussed his latest stint with Who Wants to be a Millionaire, but I was on official business for the R and R, reviewing the resort, Ferraro's, and preparing an in depth travel guide to Hawaii...so I couldn't be bothered with celebrity interviews while I was in the "zone".

This is how the encounter went, play by play:

BA Roof and wife sat down for dinner.

BA Roof commented on how prices at the restaurant were double those of the finest restaurants in Atlanta.

BA Roof discovered that prawns were nothing more than shrimp (or aliens in South Africa, see District 9) with different gills and an attempt by restaurants to increase dinner prices.

BA Roof looked over at the table next to him and saw a man that looked similar to Regis Philbin, only smaller.

BA Roof made a comment to wife (queen of celebrity gossip) that the man looked like Regis. Wife responded that it was Regis.

BA Roof heard the man speak and officially confirmed the sighting (Note: Regis is just as sarcastic in "real life" as he is on his television shows).

BA Roof wanted to do an immediate blog and take pictures, share a drink, tell him how much he is my hero, but wife told me not to embarrass her.

BA Roof slowly lingered around Regis' table while leaving dinner creating an awkward moment.

Maybe next time I'll have the nerve to ruin his dinner with pictures and stories like most fans. While, as a friend pointed out, I should have screamed "I love you REGIS and that's my FINAL ANSWER", I remained silent and let the man enjoy his vacation and dinner. This is why I'm no TMZ reporter.

Reviews of my Hawaii getaway will be coming throughout the week, so please check back often.

Remember Chappaquiddick

Never forget Chappaquiddick. Never forget Mary Jo Kopechne.

Senator Edward Moore "Ted" Kennedy
(February 22, 1932 – August 25, 2009)

Just Say No to the Cumberland Mall Chick-fil-a

So, I have a real beef (no pun intended) with the Chick-fil-a at the Cumberland Mall in Atlanta. If you are from Atlanta, you might be asking me what the heck am I doing at the Cumberland Mall, when there are so many other great shopping destinations? Well there is a real Chick-fil-a dilemma in the area where I work. See, the stand alone Chick-fil-a down the street from me is a drive-up establishment only. Yeah, I thought these things died away in the 1980s, too, but there's still one hanging on by a thread on the Cobb County/Fulton County line.

When I discovered this, I was very depressed, because I like to get OUT of my office for lunch and not bring it back to stink the place up. And, who doesn't like Chick-fil-a once a week for lunch? I guess chickens. But, while getting some fresh air might be nice in October or April in Atlanta...most of the time it's too hot, too cold or raining. This brings me to the Chick-fil-a in the Cumberland Mall. The mall is also right next to where I work and they have a Chick-fil-a in the food court. I thought I hit the jackpot. Maybe pick up some Chick-fil-a and browse some stores on my lunch break. Well, I could go on and on about my mall ratings, but let's just say Cumberland Mall is the ugly red-headed step sister of the Lenox and Phipps Malls in Buckhead. I mean really ugly.

So, that just leaves me to enjoy the Chick-fil-a in the food court, which is fine, or so I thought. Obviously, the owner of this franchise believes we are either in Cold War Russia or 1930s United States because we have a major rationing problem. I am addicted to ketchup. It's my catnip. Fries are just a vehicle to get that lovely red sauce into my mouth. Needless to say, I love eating lots and lots of ketchup with my waffle fries, since there's a lot of fry to be doused. Well the first time I ordered there, they asked me what condiments I wanted. I said honey mustard confidently, knowing that all Chick-fil-a's have a separate area with gobs of ketchup packets. I was sadly mistaken.

I walked away from the counter like an Alzheimer's patient lost in the bustling mall. I didn't know who had moved my ketchup. I stood there with my white bag filled with everything but ketchup. People walked around me and gave me dirty looks, but I didn't know what to do. Finally, it hit me that this Chick-fil-a didn't give its customers free reign over the ketchup packets. Maybe because of ketchup hoarders or addicts like me. Realizing this horrible fact, I walked back up to the counter and politely asked the ketchup deniers for some ketchup. What did they give me? Two packets. Two f-ing packets (trying to keep it clean for the kids)? Are you kidding me? Are these collector items? That's not enough to wet one of those jumbo waffle fries you sometimes get and think you've hit the lottery.

Well, I was ashamed and embarrassed, but somehow gathered the courage to ask for more. They of course looked at me like some kind of monster. Like I was taking a precious scarce resource from puppies and pandas. After disgusted looks, they gave me four more packets. For me, and my addiction, this was going to be rough, but I figured it was better than nothing at all.

Obviously, I'm a glutton for punishment, because I keep going back to this same Chick-fil-a, since it's so close. Thinking I had figured out the system, whenever they asked me for condiments, I proudly would announce that I'd like honey mustard AND EXTRA ketchup. Yes! Extra biatches! Dump that stuff in there!! Well at first it did work. But then, Joe Stalin in the back must have caught on to my game and held an informational briefing to all employees, because the last couple of times, my extra ketchup has gotten me only 4 packets. This is extra? I try to yell louder, thinking they don't hear me, but no...they do. So, acting like a fat kid being denied his chocolate, I demand more ketchup, which I have gotten.

Today, I've had enough though. Why you might ask? Because, now they flaunt my addiction. They might as well tease a lion with a nice sirloin steak. When I asked for my "extra" ketchup today, the nice little lady behind the counter pulled out five packets and with a smile asked, "Will five be extra enough?" Like surely no one would ever eat more than five packets in one sitting, as this is a drain on the national ketchup supply. I went back to my table, rationed my ketchup, ate my stale sandwich that was missing lettuce, although I explained 4 times NO tomatoes and pickles, YES to lettuce. Then, when I went to get a refill on my drink, they marked it. Yes, they actually count how many refills you get as well. Like I'm going to come back tomorrow and ask for another refill for free. I know the economy is bad, but cut me some slack.

So, I'm obviously a marked man by this Chick-fil-a, so the only thing I can do now is drive 15 minutes away to a dine-in Chick-fil-a with plenty of ketchup just waiting for me. As for the Chick-fil-a in the Cumberland Mall??? NO SPORKS!!!

"Is this enough EXTRA ketchup, Mr. Roof?"

Top Ten Comedies of All Time

Here at the R and R Review, we got into a little debate over the best movie comedies ever made. Well, after watching miles of film and eating plenty of Taco Bell, we finally settled on our lists. We looked at various attributes in making our determinations, such as how they have stacked up in pop culture, raw comedy and originality of the comedy at the time they were made. After reviewing the criteria and only movies that we've actually watched uninterrupted all the way through, these are our lists:

Christopher J. Robinson's Top Ten Comedies of All Time

10. Uncle Buck

9. Wet Hot American Summer

8. Happy Gilmore

7. Fast Times at Ridgemont High

6. What About Bob?

5. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

4. Tommy Boy

3. Rushmore

2. The Naked Gun

1. Caddyshack

Ten Honorable Mention Movies (no particular order)

Planes, Trains and Automobiles

Christmas Vacation

Mallrats

Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure

Road Trip

Being There

Big Lebowski

Anchorman

There’s Something About Mary

Meet the Parents

BA Roof's Top Ten Comedies of All Time

10. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

9. Airplane!

8. What About Bob?

7. Christmas Vacation

6. Rushmore

5. Waiting For Guffman

4. Animal House

3. Caddyshack

2. There's Something About Mary

1. The Naked Gun

Ten Honorable Mention Movies (no particular order)

Planes, Trains and Automobiles

Vacation

Ghostbusters

Meet the Parents

Blazing Saddles

Uncle Buck

Tommy Boy

The Goonies

Old School

Wedding Crashers

ALERT: Southwest Coming to Atlanta?

News is swirling fast around all corners of Atlanta...Southwest Airlines may finally be arriving. Southwest is currently bidding on Frontier Airlines for more than $170 million. Frontier currently flies three trips daily to Atlanta from Denver and Southwest has said it will maintain all of Frontiers' current existing markets. Southwest often enters into a market on a very small scale before expanding routes. This news is the equivalent to Thomas Edison inventing the light bulb or the fall of the Berlin Wall and end of the Soviet Empire. We have calls into the Mayor's office to see if there will be a ticker-tape parade down Peachtree on a Southwest Boeing 737 jet. Stay tuned.

John Hughes has Died

The R and R Review is sad to report that John Hughes, who directed, wrote and/or produced Planes Trains and Automobiles, Home Alone, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, The Breakfast Club, National Lampoon's Vacation and many more, has passed away today at the age of 59.

Sizzle Chest

Photographs were publised yesterday of Russian Prime Minister Vladimir "Sizzle Chest" Putin on vacation in the Siberian region of Tuva. As noted by TimesOnline, the photos "will inevitably trigger mass swooning by women all over Russia — as well as unfavourable comparisons of their husbands to Mr Putin’s manly physique. They will also confirm the Russian Prime Minister’s status as a gay icon."

Enjoy.

Vladimir Putin gets 4 Sporks for unintentional comedy. It would have been a 5 Spork effort if we'd seen some skin below the belt. Sigh. Check out the entire gallery here.

M. Ward at 40 Watt in Athens

On Monday evening, BA Roof, Trip Reed, and I drove over to Athens to see the beloved M. Ward. I saw him at Pitchfork last July and then with She & Him in ATL a few weeks later, but at Pitchfork he only played a festival set (20-30 minutes) and with She & Him, the spotlight was on Zooey. Needless to say, I was pretty pumped for a full M. Ward headlining performance.

Check out Trip's concert review here. He beat the R&R to the punch, but we agree wholeheartedly with his thoughts and retrospection.

In a sad and upsetting side note (because I was completely unaware until just now), I read this little tidbit in the comment section of the blog where Trip found the set list:

"zooey deschanel was there, in the audience. a lot of folks saw her, and m. stipe was there too!"

Well I just want to die.

Movie Review: 500 Days of Summer

Every once in a while a movie comes along that isn’t Academy Award caliber, or have freakish special effects, but is truly enjoyable due to a fresh story and solid acting. 500 Days of Summer is that movie for me in 2009. If you have at least one romantic bone in your body, or can somehow empathize with people who do, you will enjoy 500 Days with its fresh take on the relationship. I believe most people fall into two categories, not man and woman as the film illustrates, but either wildly romantic or know someone who is one. You know the person I’m talking about, the guy or girl who has told you at least a half dozen times they’ve met “the one” to which you roll your eyes. When you ask, as you have five previous times, how they really know, they proceed to rattle off a list of bizarre similarities pointing to their destiny. That is Tom Hansen (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) in 500 Days when he finds his “soul mate” Summer Finn (Zooey Deschanel).

500 Days is told by bouncing back and forth through the non-sequential days of Tom and Summer’s relationship highs and lows. The audience is duly warned at the onset of the movie that this is not a love story, and while you are given this explicit warning, something about the two characters and the story make you conveniently forget that caveat and hope they figure things out when so many have failed before them. It’s akin to watching Titanic and hoping that somehow, this time, that damned guy in the crow's nest is going to pay attention and see the mountain of an iceberg before it was too late, even though that fateful night was written nearly 100 years ago. Tom and Summer’s fate has been written as well, which was the whole premise of the movie. Is finding true love your destiny or happenstance?

Gordon-Levitt (who is twenty-eight) does the best acting job in the movie and maybe of his surprisingly long career, as he is the guy the audience must empathize with for the film to work. In some points in the movie, I truly believed he loved Summer. While Deschanel does a fine job playing the girl next door, coy with her own feelings, it’s up to Gordon-Levitt to sell the movie, which he does quite remarkably. 500 Days, as one of my friends pointed out, isn’t without its flaws. The writers have speckled clichés throughout (i.e. pouring rain during a fight…come on it doesn’t rain in LA, a mental breakdown speech at a company meeting and some other things that would spoil the plot) that at first pass may be overlooked, but nonetheless exist and detract from an otherwise “real” feeling movie. Other than those few nagging instances, I was deeply invested in the story and hung on to every scene desperate to know what was Tom and Summer’s fate (although, deep down, I already knew).

After walking away from the movie, I reflected back to when I used to walk away from law school exams. After each exam my fellow classmates and I would say whether it sucked or was “fair”, meaning the test was a hard pill to swallow, but it didn’t come out of the professor’s sick demented imagination. It was real. The message driven home in 500 Days can be simply summed up as fair and real. And, while some of the hopeless romantics might walk away distraught, most people, even though there’s bound to be some disappointment, will walk away thinking that what happened to Tom and Summer was indeed a realistically fair outcome. After all, all is fair in love and war. I give 500 Days of Summer a Spork Rating of:

Rated PG-13, 1hr 35min, Open Everywhere

Our First Beef: EW’s Owen Gleiberman

Since its inception back in 2002, the R&R has been looking to start a serious beef with a legitimate film critic. Sure, we’ve had our spats over the years with small-time naysayers like Justin Luna (who? exactly), but we’ve been looking for a beef along the lines of Bill O’Reilly vs. Keith Olbermann, Tupac vs. Biggie, Barry Bonds vs. America, or Kelly Clarkson vs. vegetables.

With that being said, the R&R Review is calling out Entertainment Weekly’s Owen Gleiberman. I have to premise this with the fact that Bruno has been able to hang on to its 69% Fresh Rating on Rottentomatoes.com since opening night. While a 69% looks solid on RT, if I had brought home a 69% on a differential equations exam in the sixth grade, I would have been excluded from the family vacation to the Baltics that year. Needless to say, that’s a pretty severe punishment. Anyway, given our review of Bruno a couple of weeks ago, I was shocked to see that Owen Gleiberman gave Bruno an A- in his review for EW. An A-? Really, Owen? The fact that Owen loved the movie doesn’t bother me. That’s fine; lots of people loved Bruno (69% on RT). But the way that you paint your dissenters as “homophobic” is a bit suspect.

Take this little gem: “The more uncomfortable Bruno makes people, the more he draws attention to their petty churlishness and homophobia.” So if I’m uncomfortable with Bruno shoving champagne bottles up his ass and flopping his dong around on screen for a solid 30 seconds that means I’m a homophobe? Owen then proceeds to attack Ron Paul for his reaction to being ambushed by Bruno in a hotel room. “You can forgive a visibly shaken Paul for thinking Bruno is nuts — though that's hardly an excuse for calling him '’queer.”” Um, what? Hardly an excuse? A man trying to seduce another man by locking him in a hotel room, lighting candles, stripping, and trying to make a sex tape with him isn’t queer? That’s the very definition of queer! That pretty much nails BOTH definitions of queer. I’d really hate to see what it is that actually makes Owen Gleiberman uncomfortable. It seems as though anything short of child pornography or a snuff film and this guy is not only cool with it, but totally comfortable watching it in a crowded theatre. But if I get squeamish watching butt bleaching or a talking pee-hole that is just Sacha Baron Cohen holding up a fun-house mirror to my “frat-house intolerances?”

Not that I’m a member of it, but Owen Gleiberman’s review seems like a slap in the face to the gay community. If anything, his review tries to be too politically correct. It’s as if Gleiberman was afraid that he would be branded a homophobe if he didn’t like Bruno and point out that squirming in your seat and turning away at certain scenes is magnifying your own homophobia. What makes viewers uncomfortable isn’t the fact that Bruno is gay or that he is flamboyant, but that we had to suffer through what is essentially 90 minutes of extreme pornography billed as a comedy. EW’s Owen Gleiberman gets ZERO Sporks.

FYI, he gave Epic Movie a “Fresh” rating on Rottentomatoes.com. He was the only critic to do so.

Vacation Destination Review: Door County, Wisconsin

Note: This is the first R and R Review Vacation Spot review, so hang in there . These reviews will be a bit longer, since we review everything about the vacation spot.

Door County, Wisconsin is considered the Cape Cod of the Midwest. I wouldn’t know because I’ve never been to Cape Cod, preferring to spend my summer time in Martha’s Vineyard or the Hamptons. Before going on this Fourth of July outing, I had never heard of Door County let alone stepped foot into Wisconsin, so the land was as foreign to me as Bangkok or Moscow. I was still excited to spend my July Fourth weekend here, although we had a five hour journey up and back to the peninsula county that separates Green Bay from Lake Michigan and it didn't disappoint.

We had heard horror stories of the drive up to Door County from Chicago, so even though we were up late enjoying spirits and sushi in the city the night before, we woke up early, grabbed a bite to eat and were on the road before 9am. Either the stories were false, or because we left early we beat the traffic. One of those things we will never know for sure, but traffic was light. Soon after we crossed the Wisconsin line, we saw the Mars Cheese Factory calling out to us to make a pit stop to grab some much needed supplies for the weekend. We had been informed that this place contained some real deal cheese…it didn’t disappoint. Grabbing about 6lbs of cheese (enough to really block your bowels for a week or so), the “World’s Best Wine” (claim was unsubstantiated) and a few six packs of Wisconsin beer (some Spotted Cow, try it out if you ever get the chance), we were again off to the promised lands.

Wisconsin is littered with picturesque farms containing those Rockwellian red barns and black and white cows. A real eyesore if you like dirty cities. I couldn’t have conjured up a better nostalgic image in my own mind. Door County itself captures much of the peninsula, but the truly special parts of the county are on the northwestern half past Sturgeon Bay. Throughout our trip we spent time in Sturgeon Bay, Egg Harbor, Fish Creek, Sister Bay and drove through the small community of Ephraim. We also drove up along the east coast of the peninsula, but the west had more to do and was a bit more charming. The town of Fish Creek, which is where we stayed, was by far my favorite community in Door County. It appeared larger than Egg Harbor and Ephraim, yet had a lot more charm than Sister Bay (a tourist trap) and Sturgeon Bay (a glorified shipyard). The weather couldn’t have been more perfect for the trip, with highs in the upper 70s and lows in the very cool for-someone-who-lives-in-Atlanta-during-the-summer 50s. I can see why people only come here in the summers, however, as I can’t imagine the brutal winters.

Things To Do:

We went during the Fourth of July weekend, and I recommend everyone to take part of this event in Door County at least once in your life. You cannot get a better sense of small town American than you do in Door County, Wisconsin on the Fourth of July. If you do come on the Fourth, make sure you go to Egg Harbor to watch the fireworks on July 3rd (or whenever they plan it in future years) and grab a seat early on the hill. You can watch the sun set over the small harbor and Green Bay (the body of water, not the town), while drinking beer and wine. I know the people there are eagerly awaiting my return so I can serenade them again with all the American songs we learned in elementary school. So I had a few beers to drink, layoff. The next night, go watch the fireworks in Fish Creek. These fireworks are longer and more spectacular and you get a small lighted boat parade before they shoot off. Make sure to spend some time, even if it’s just a morning, exploring Peninsula State Park, near Fish Creek, which had great biking and running trails. We came across various types of birds, a snake and even a lone deer on our five mile jog (there was some limited walking). Rent a boat for an afternoon to explore some of the Door County coastline. You can see a lot by car, but much of the beauty you can’t experience unless you are on the water. I also recommend loading up on a lot of beer and playing “I’m On A Boat” over and over again. We rented our beast of a boat (pontoon) in Sturgeon Bay, which gives you some nice lighthouse viewing, but I recommend renting further up along the peninsula if you can, to get further away from the industrial surroundings. Also, only rent a pontoon boat if the lake/bay is calm. We hit a rather large swell from I swear a cruise ship (it had to be at least 25 feet long, that’s big right?) leaving Sturgeon Bay and while I was able to rescue her among the screams and cries for help…an I-pod fell victim to the angry sea that day. While I didn’t care for the food itself, you probably need to experience a Fish Boil. It is truly a tacky tourist thing to do, and honestly I will never eat at one again since the food is marginal at best…but if you go to Door County and don’t “experience” one, you could be seen as a real phony. Additionally, there are plenty of places in Door County to rent bikes, shops to browse and stores that sell fudge and ice cream and plenty of farms to take oodles of pictures.

Where To Stay:

Definitely Stay in Ephraim or Fish Creek, because of their quaintness and prime location between Egg Harbor and Sister Bay. I recommend Fish Creek because it has more restaurants, shops and is not a dry town. There are even some nice places overlooking the harbor. Unfortunately, Ephraim is as dry as the Mojave, but one of the most charming towns, as it sits right on the water. Of course you can bring your own alcohol in…just can’t enjoy a nice bottle of vino at dinner. There are plenty of inns, hotels, timeshares, and bed and breakfasts to choose from in any of the towns. We stayed in the Hilltop Inn, which gets a rating of 3 Sporks, but there was nothing charming about the place…just a comfortable place in a great location at a great price.

Where To Eat:

Gibraltar Grill in Fish Creek was by far my favorite eating spot and not necessarily because of the food (although what we had was good), but for the location and feel of the joint. Grab a spot next to the outdoor fireplace on a cool summer’s night (which we did) and listen to some local musicians play. This is a great place to spend an entire evening, starting with a relaxed dinner (don’t expect fine dining) and finishing it off with a couple (a few, who am I kidding) glasses of wine. Note that prices aren’t super cheap, but there aren’t many places in Door County with cheap prices. Pelletier’s Restaurant in Fish Creek had a decent Fish Boil, as good as a fish boil can be, I guess. Make sure to book reservations in advance and get there on time to see the boiling over. Wild Tomato in Fish Creek was another favorite and is a great lunch spot consisting of fresh burgers, salads and pizzas. Plenty of outdoor seating and there is more parking in the back. The Summer Kitchen between Ephraim and Sister Bay (but considered Ephraim), had delicious sandwiches and salads, which included a cup from the soup bar, making it another great lunch spot. The outdoor seating is better than the inside. Finally, you have to see the goats on top of the roof (they are for real, yo) for breakfast at Al Johnson’s in Sister Bay. Enjoy authentic Swedish pancakes and other Swedish food. Be prepared, though, as this place is a tourist trap and has long waits. While it is an experience, the food isn’t all that spectacular. Also, leave Brian Fellow at home, as he will not like the goats staring at him from the roof.

All in all the Door County experience was great. It is an awesome place to have a romantic weekend or a great family getaway. This trip is not recommended for singles, as you will have very few party locations.

Door County Wisconsin gets a Spork Rating of:

The Bruno Screening: A 3 Pitch Strike Out

As I am sure that many of you have noticed, the R&R has been on a sort of summer sabbatical. June and July are two of our favorite twelve months to travel and we have been dividing our time between the R&R writing camp in the Adirondacks and our summer home in the South of France. We even mixed in a bit of island-hopping in the Greek Isles with some of our Hollywood friends and a slew of swimsuit models.

After receiving our first screening pass in weeks, we decided to get back on the horse and cowboy up. Last nights screening of Bruno was something that we here at the R&R had been anxiously awaiting since we first caught wind of the event. With our bellies full of CPK and Sam Adams, we arrived at the theatre and jumped in line like good little Russians waiting for our cheese ration. Once we made our way to the theatre door single file, we were told by the warden, err usher, that they were confiscating all cell phones. With sly, shit-eating grins on our faces, we slid by the cell phone check point only to turn the corner and run head first into a security officer wanding down each movie-goer as if they were admitting immigrants into a refugee camp. We had no choice but to turn around and check our cell phones. The rationale behind this was beyond us. Strike one.

Entering the theatre, we were shocked to find 90% of the mid and upper section roped off with “reserved” signs. Reserved for whom? Certainly not for us, the goddamn critics. The remaining seats in the prime section were obviously filled first, so we had no choice but to retreat to the lower level. Luckily, the theatre hadn’t completely filled up and we were able to sit far enough back to avoid the inevitable neck cramping that comes with sitting in the first few rows. Once the theatre doors were closed, the usual pre-screening shenanigans began. Some representatives from Creative Loafing and 99X quizzed the crowd and gave out free t-shirts and movie posters. It is absolutely amazing what some people will do for free crap. It’s as if they were giving away free iPods or economic stimulus checks instead of double-XL Sacha Baron Cohen t-shirts. The real shocker came when a guy from 99X uttered this little gem: “We all know that gay people do a lot of screwing, so start naming some other things that screw!!!” As if all gay people are sex addicts or deviants. Wow. Talk about a law suit waiting to happen. Strike 2. Bruno was about to begin, and the R&R was hoping that Mr. Cohen would help us laugh our way into emptying our short-term memories.

The main character in Bruno is of course the flamboyantly gay Austrian fashionista Bruno (Cohen) who is the “it” when it comes to fashion in German speaking countries that aren’t Germany. Unfortunately for Bruno, he has an unfortunate incident with his Velcro suit at a runway show and is pretty much banished from the fashion world. This starts his odyssey to America in attempts to once again become famous, which includes adopting an “African American” baby from Africa like Angelina and Madonna, trying to bring peace to the Middle East, pitching a talk show to CBS and attempting to become straight. If the jokes and scenes seem oddly familiar, it’s because many follow the same general path as Borat: Cultural Learnings of America Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. We had no problem with the whole premise of the movie, or the fact that Bruno was gay or the star. We both expected this movie to be just as funny if not funnier than Borat. Plus, we knew it would be edgy. But, instead of a hilarious gay fish out of water movie we got rehashed Borat jokes sprinkled throughout a gay porno. We love crude and obscene jokes as much as the next guy, however, when the movie’s objective is not to be funny but to be extremely outrageous (think zoomed-in shot of Cohen’s penis flopping up and down and then after 30 seconds the pee hole saying “Bruno”)…it just becomes an excruciating bore.

The best all-around scene was when Bruno got a gig as an extra on Medium, but other than that, almost all of the funniest parts were seen in the previews hyping it. Most of the flick consisted of penises, dildos, homophobes and an uninspiring plot lacking much humor. The plot, by the way, is eerily similar to Borat. Strike 3. How did a 75 minute movie seem longer than Titanic? We can’t help but think this movie is going to make few laugh and many uncomfortable. We give Bruno a Spork Rating of:




Christopher J. Robinson & BA Roof


Opens Friday, July 10, 2009 Nationwide