So, the TSA has announced new screening procedures for travelers. Like it's not hard enough to remember the hoops we must jump through to get on a plane. One jerk had to put some explosives in his shoe and now the rest of us have to suffer for eternity. TSA security checkpoints are worse than trying to get a bite to eat from the Soup Nazi.
Well, along with remembering to basically strip down, take out all our money, phones, and computers from our pockets and bags and having all our liquids separated in appropriate sized containers (don't you love walking on those dirty floors barefoot?), we must now learn how to properly place our belongings on the x-ray machine belt. That's right folks, we have to place our shoes directly on the belt now. It is unacceptable to place them in those very convenient bins that the TSA try to snatch from you immediately after it's gone through the screening, even though you are standing there naked trying desperately to grab your belongings. I expect plenty of screaming children, suicidal parents and overly stressed business travelers enjoying this little treat.
The last time I was at the Miami International Airport going through the screening, I was trying to grab my liquids, backpack, shoes, phone, belt, change and my laptop (that had to be in its own bin) when the government trained TSA x-ray belt operator decided to put that thing in HIGH gear and everyone's stuff began plowing into my things. Plastic was crunching. Shoes went flying. My laptop slipped off the belt and thank god I caught it. If you read my post yesterday, you know I was in code blue. What was TSA's response? Move faster. Well, if I wasn't standing there naked clutching all my worldly possessions...I would consider that bit of advice.
So, if any of you folks are traveling this Memorial Day weekend by plane...expect even longer lines as the TSA minions implement their new rules for our safety.
1 comment:
BA, you need to learn how to dress for the occassion. Instead of traveling in a three-piece suit with pocket watch, three quarters, a nickle, two dimes, and four pennies, your i-phone, your blackberry, your metalic miniature statue of saint christopher, and your lucky german coin, you might want to consider something else. put those things in your bag instead of leaving them in your pockets! also, instead of the three piece suit you should travel in sweat pants, sandals, and a v-neck undershirt. this will cut your time at security in half.
-the other R.
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