Racing to Save Lives

Dear readers...

I'm training to participate in the Tugaloo Triathlon (Swim 1.5k, Bike 42k, Run 10k) as a member of The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's (LLS) Team In Training. All of us on Team In Training are raising funds to help stop leukemia, lymphoma, Hodgkin lymphoma and myeloma from taking more lives. I am completing this event in honor of all individuals who are battling blood cancers. These people are the real heroes on our team, and we need your support to cross the ultimate finish line - a cure!

Please make a donation to support my participation in Team In Training and help advance LLS's mission. Here is the link to my fundraising page:

http://pages.teamintraining.org/ga/tugtri09/crobinsbih

I hope you will visit my web site often. Be sure to check back frequently to see my progress. Thanks for your support!

Tugaloo Triathlon
Swim 1.5K - Bike 42K - Run 10K
September 12, 2009
Lavonia, GA
http://www.gamultisports.com/tugaloo.html

Poll: Best Suicidal Beard

Suicidal/depression beards are pretty self-explanatory. We at the R & R Review are trying to decide which of the following depression related beards of the last ten years are the best. I'll give you, readers, five options plus "other." If you can think of a great suicidal beard that is not listed, plus leave a comment and we can discuss. Please cast your vote using the poll on the left side of the screen.

Without further ado, in no particular order:


1) Jack Shephard




2) Richie Tenenbaum





3) Joaquin Phoenix

4) Ron Burgundy



5) Noah Calhoun

Urgent TSA Alert: New Plan To Make Traveling Worse

So, the TSA has announced new screening procedures for travelers. Like it's not hard enough to remember the hoops we must jump through to get on a plane. One jerk had to put some explosives in his shoe and now the rest of us have to suffer for eternity. TSA security checkpoints are worse than trying to get a bite to eat from the Soup Nazi.

Well, along with remembering to basically strip down, take out all our money, phones, and computers from our pockets and bags and having all our liquids separated in appropriate sized containers (don't you love walking on those dirty floors barefoot?), we must now learn how to properly place our belongings on the x-ray machine belt. That's right folks, we have to place our shoes directly on the belt now. It is unacceptable to place them in those very convenient bins that the TSA try to snatch from you immediately after it's gone through the screening, even though you are standing there naked trying desperately to grab your belongings. I expect plenty of screaming children, suicidal parents and overly stressed business travelers enjoying this little treat.

The last time I was at the Miami International Airport going through the screening, I was trying to grab my liquids, backpack, shoes, phone, belt, change and my laptop (that had to be in its own bin) when the government trained TSA x-ray belt operator decided to put that thing in HIGH gear and everyone's stuff began plowing into my things. Plastic was crunching. Shoes went flying. My laptop slipped off the belt and thank god I caught it. If you read my post yesterday, you know I was in code blue. What was TSA's response? Move faster. Well, if I wasn't standing there naked clutching all my worldly possessions...I would consider that bit of advice.

So, if any of you folks are traveling this Memorial Day weekend by plane...expect even longer lines as the TSA minions implement their new rules for our safety.

The Amazing Race: Changing Terminals at LAX

My wife has been telling me for the past few weeks that we should apply to be on the next Amazing Race. I’m not sure if you have ever watched the show, but people who have some sort of relationship team up in pairs and go across the world in this race to win one million dollars. Along the way, the players on each team must work together on tasks to gain the next clue and to see where they are going. If you are the last team to get to the checkpoint for the clue, you are sent packing.

When my wife told me she wanted us to apply to be on the show, I figured she must be angling for a divorce. I asked her if she was unhappy with our marriage, or if I did something wrong to upset her. She said no, just that she thought it would be “good” for us and it would be “fun”. Now, I suffer from a disorder that has been labeled by my doctor, who is renowned for repairing horizontal butt crack birth defects on children, as “Travel Daze”. Basically on travel days, I come down with a condition that overtakes my body and brain, where I become irrational, irritable, feverish, stressed, flushed and paranoid that all my travel related activities are going to go terribly wrong. Packing a car? Pure stress. Overstuffed suitcases, two dogs (one 100 lbs), dog supplies, people supplies and my wife’s general lack of interest in planning for a trip. Flying on a plane? Do we take mass transportation, fight traffic, do we park at the airport lot or a satellite lot, what time do we leave, how much time in advance do we need to get there, did we check in, are all our liquids in appropriate bags, did I accidentally forget my gun stuffed in the back of my belt loop? Pure irritation and paranoia.

Basically, I told my wife, no way in hell are we ever going on The Amazing Race, because there are only three likely outcomes: 1. We will divorce, 2. I will die of a heart attack, or 3. America will think I’m the biggest jackass and send me death threats for outrageous meltdowns. Actually all three are probable.

So imagine my surprise when my wife and Delta must have colluded to change our connection time, for a secret trip we are taking that must connect at the Los Angeles International Airport, from 3 hours to 45 minutes. Do you know how hard it is to change planes located at different terminals at LAX? I didn’t, because I’ve never had a connecting flight there, but in order to switch terminals, you must exit security and the entire terminal building, take a bus or walk outside to the other terminal, and then go through security all over again. Websites recommend three hours to have plenty of time for this daunting task, especially if you are traveling with large suitcases, kids, are older or eat too much. We had 45 minutes. We are young, generally in good shape, no kids and we pack lighter than most…but 45 minutes? I dropped a few F bombs and started to break out in a cold sweat and hives as I scoured my itinerary and the websites regarding LAX’s terminals. I figured it was all going to be filmed for The Amazing Race or some hidden camera show. Could I change planes in 45 minutes without killing anyone or being tazed by the police? Impossible.

Lucky for me, my wife put me on oxygen, before I passed out and I called Delta to switch my connection times. They were very nice, fixed the problem (actually before I even said it, they knew the problem quickly fixed it) and we now have a little over two hours (still one hour short of the recommended time) to change planes. I’ve decided I’m still going to time it and possibly react as if we only had 45 minutes, just to see if we can do it. I’ll tell my wife it’s a test run to see if we could be on The Amazing Race. I know she will go for it. But, for the terminal design, I give LAX a Spork Rating of:

Come on a chimp could have designed a better airport. They still get One Spork, because planes can successfully land and take off from there. As for Delta handling the situation (but still remembering that they put me there in the first place) I give them a Spork Rating of:

Los Angeles International Airport

Built in 1929

Opened in 1930

Sixth busiest airport in the world

Continental Airlines and the George Bush Intercontinental Airport

If someone were to ask me to name the first three images that come to mind when I hear the word “torture,” my responses would undoubtedly be George Bush, airports, and cotton balls. Last week, I was able to combine two of them into one frightening experience. En route to a weeks stay at the Broadmoor in Colorado Springs, my Continental Airlines flight to and from COS was broken up by a layover in Houston, TX at the George Bush Intercontinental Airport. I had never landed at this airport before and can’t remember the last time I flew Continental, so it had never occurred to me that Houston was the Continental hub.

When I flew into Houston last Monday, my arrival and departure gates were both in Terminal B, so my experience that day was relatively painless. As I deboarded the plane, I was thrust into a narrow hallway which connected my gate to the central pod of Terminal B. The hallway was eerily similar in size and construction to a single-wide trailer and went on for what seemed like miles. While Terminal B had a decent selection of eateries, its appearance can only be described as dirty. I picked up a copy of the Wall Street Journal and sat down at the bar of Chili’s Too while waiting for my connecting flight to begin boarding. All in all, it was a seamless transition.

The same can not be said for my Houston connection four days later. As before, my plane arrived at Terminal B, but this time my connecting flight was departing out of Terminal A. Having never been to this airport, I had no idea that Terminal A was in a completely different building. As I followed the signs pointing towards A, I navigated my way through a maze of single-wide trailers and down an escalator which dead ended into a sliding glass door leading out to the tarmac. Unsure of what to do next, I hesitantly approached the doors when all of a sudden I was grabbed by an airport employee and forced into a line off to the side. A hessian sack was then placed over my head and I was lead through the doors and onto a tram of some sort as we proceeded to drive for what seemed like a solid 5 to 7 minutes (although I may have been force-fed a sedative and blacked out). Once the tram stopped, I was pulled off the vehicle and the sack was removed from my head as I continued down another single-wide hallway. Luckily, my gate was just inside. I’m curious to know what exactly it was that the Houston Airport did not want me to see.

While the airport itself did not meet the standards that my life of privilege has caused me to grow accustomed to, the actual flights themselves were not awful. The flight attendants were very friendly, although one of them snickered at me when I asked her to fetch me some hot tea and point me towards my room. Much to my amazement, the flight to Colorado Springs included a complimentary ham sandwich, Fritos, and a small Kit Kat bar. This sort of thing is unheard for passengers sitting in coach, but I was a little shocked that they would offer ham in the midst of the Swine Flu epidemic. I saved one slice of the ham in case I needed to fend off any terrorists that may have been aboard my flight. A free meal nowadays is truly an expected joy, but it was bastardized by the fact that I had to pay $15 dollars each way to check a single piece of luggage.

It was recently announced that Continental Airlines will be leaving the SkyTeam Alliance sometime this fall. While the possibility of a free meal will be missed, at least I will be able to avoid George Bush Intercontinental Airport. This travel experience was a mixed bag and gets a Spork rating of…

The Car Rental Pirates

When I was in college, I went on a fraternity “business” trip with a couple of fraternity brothers and we needed to rent a car. We knew we were going to get some hefty fees because none of us were 25 years old yet. I don’t blame them for not really wanting to rent to us. But, once we stepped up to the rental counter and we selected the cheapest car on the lot, they began talking insurance. Insurance? What 21 year old knows a lick about car insurance, let alone car RENTAL insurance? The agent started talking fast, then double talk, then Korean I think. Next thing I knew, we just rented the cheapest car produced in North America for about $95/day. Yes, we fell for it and bought the insurance. While we were supposed to have a safe feeling after purchasing all that coverage, we instead felt like a freshman girl with her senior date on prom night…totally taken advantage of.

This week when I was preparing for a trip where I need to rent a car, this horrific memory came rushing into my head. Scanning the prices of the rental cars on the internet, I selected the car class I wanted and nervously clicked to the next page…the page of horrors. Looking at all the extras, insurance, waivers, fees, surcharges, I was almost surprised some of the options weren’t: steering wheel, $9/day; tires, $4/day; doors, $7/day; $3/day surcharge for the privilege of renting the car (oh wait that one was on there). To give you an idea of what I was staring at, here were some of the options I encountered:

Greenhouse Gas Emissions, $1.25/Rental
Collision Damage Waiver, $22.99/day
National Protection Plus, $34.99
Carefree personal protection, $7.99
Supplemental Liability Insurance, $10.99
Customer Facility Charge (mandatory fee), $1.00/day
Concession Recovery Fee 8.11%
Rental Motor Vehicle Surcharge, $3/day
Vehicle Registration Fee/weight tax, $1.05

The extra add on that won the “absolutely outrageous award” was the National Protection Plus coverage at $34.99/day. Really? Insurance coverage for a car at 34.99/day? What the car rental companies don’t want you to do is grow a brain and actually calculate how much this insurance coverage would cost you over the year’s time, exactly how you pay for your own personal car insurance. Sit back and ponder what you pay for insurance for your own car for the entire year. Is it $12,771? Yeah, I didn’t think so, but that’s the cost of the car rental agency’s insurance premium calculated over the entire year. At that insurance rate, you could just buy a new car ever year and crash it at the end of 365 days.

So, did I really need rental insurance for the car? No. But, it is different for everyone, depending on your own coverage for your vehicle and the credit card you use to rent the car. Many personal car insurance plans will cover you in case of an accident with a rental and many credit cards will also cover car rental problems. Basically, if you take ten minutes to read your personal policy or call your agent, you will know whether you need to pay off these car rental pirates or call in the snipers.

In the end, I rented my car without paying for any these extras, except for the fees and surcharges they forced me to take at gunpoint. What about the global warming fee you may ask? No way was I paying for that thing. Why would I trust the car rental agency with my donation to save the world when they tried to sell me an insurance policy that cost 12,771/year?

To sum it up, car rental companies and all their extras get a Spork Rating of:





Buyer Beware!

Review: Star Trek

I thought about writing this review in Klingon, but felt english was more appropriate for our readers. I must first disclose that I am not an “original” Star Trek fan. My review may be better or worse, depending on if you are a fan or not. I’ve seen maybe two or three of the original television series episodes and maybe two of the original Star Trek films. The Star Wars movies always captured my attention more, because of the bigger and better battles along with a great “epic” story. Star Trek had a general theme, but never that one big story, probably because it started out as a television series in the 1960s. I did come to enjoy watching Star Trek the Next Generation, but this newest installment of the Star Trek franchise pays all of its respect to the original series and makes no mention of the several others that followed.

Star Trek (2009) is directed by J.J. Abrams, a man who said he wanted to update or refresh the franchise. In this movie, there is most definitely a face lift and not the Joan Rivers kind. Star Trek has always had its strong cult following, but has never blown up the box office like other science fiction films, such as Star Wars or Spaceballs (just seeing who is paying attention). The highest grossing Star Trek was 1986’s Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home bringing in a little over $109,000,000.00. For comparisons, the lowest grossing of the Star Wars franchise was Star Wars Episode 5: The Empire Strikes Back at around $290,000,000.00. The most recent Star Trek film in 2002, Star Trek: Nemesis only made around $43,000,000.00. For those of you not in the biz…that’s a dud, especially for a science fiction big budget space movie. Something needed to be done to reboot this franchise. Someone needed to bring Star Trek to the masses, not just those silly geeks at the conventions. Enter J.J. Abrams.

This new movie is actually a prequel to all the others and involves some heavy doses of time travel. J.J. Abrams fans should have come to expect this, since we are trying to sort out what the heck is going on in Lost every week. But, we get to see a young Kirk (Chris Pine), Spock (Zachary Quinto), Dr. McCoy (Karl Urban), Scotty (Simon Pegg), Hikaru Sulu (John Cho) and Uhura (Zoe Saldana) in this movie and it feels at times like an old reunion, except you have gotten much older and your friends much more youthful. Since I never watched much of the older episodes and characters, I really can’t comment on how much they resembled their older counterparts, except that I think some had a good new take (Pegg, Pine) while others went a little over the top (Urban). The movie begins with Captain Kirk’s birth and his father’s death at the hands of pissed off and disgruntled Nero (Eric Bana). Fast forward to the present (which is really still the past in the story, yet the future from current day…confusing, I know) and you have a James T. Kirk who is beating up Star Fleet thugs in a bar when he is discovered by Captain Christopher Pike (Bruce Greenwood) and encouraged to join Star Fleet. From there on, the story begins and it’s ultimately up to this young Enterprise crew, especially Spock and Kirk, to get over their vast differences and save the Universe (I’m trying to avoid any big spoilers in the storyline).

Star Trek is most definitely an upgrade from the previous versions, and I think in a great way. There’s more in your face attitude, fighting and great special effects and graphics. J.J. Abrams has definitely taken a story from the 1960s and 1980s and transformed it into the type of movie audiences want to see today. Yet, at the same time the movie still pays its respects to its roots…if not a little too much at times. Because I haven’t invested years of my life to worshiping the franchise, there were plenty of moments in the movie where jokes when right over my head. I felt like I was the fat kid who wasn’t picked for dodgeball at times, with much of the theater laughing at some line, and there I was laughing along, but completely lost. However, the movie has enough new material, that even new viewers can easily follow the story. In the end, the biggest fault I give this movie is the relatively weak story. While the graphics and set design was great, and I liked most of the acting…I felt the story was a bit too rushed and not nearly deep enough (especially for the new fans). Too often it fell back on the old Hollywood clichés of chip on the shoulder characters, rather than getting a little deeper into these guys’ personalities and thoughts. The entire time I felt the writing was just skimming the surface. Finally, the villain in the movie just wasn’t good enough. For all the crazy evil people that could be lurking out there, all the double crossing aliens that exist in this alternate world, there could have been some really terrifying thug or thugs. Yes, Nero does some unthinkable things, but he just fell a little flat for me.

All in all, I enjoyed Star Trek, but it isn’t the second coming as some critics and fans play it up to be. It is, however, a solid summer flick and a great start to the summer movie season. I give Star Trek a Spork Rating of:

Christopher J. Robinson's take:


I couldn't agree more with the other R. I felt that Star Trek is a very good movie, and it kept me entertained throughout, but I kept thinking that if I had been a bigger Trek fan I would have loved this new installment. There were definitely some scenes and lines targeted for the long-time fans, but enough of the film focused on capturing a new audience.

I, too, thought the the plot was a bit weak and am convinced that the time travel element was added so that the original Spock (Leonard Nimoy) could make an appearance in the film. After seeing Zachary Quinto (Hero's Silar) as the new Spock, I cannot imagine anyone else in this role. He was perfect. At least I think he was perfect. I wouldn't really know since I have never seen a single Star Trek movie before this one and only remember seeing bits and pieces of the old television series when I was a wee lad (and thinking it was pretty lame). I thought Chris Pine did a great job as Captain Kirk, but who can compare to William Shatner???

Overall, the new Star Trek just didn't do it for me. I thought it was a very good and entertaining movie, and many folks will love it, but I have a hard time getting into this genre. I agree with B.A. Roof on a Spork rating of...

Rated PG-13

Opens May 7, 2009

Runtime: 2hr. 6min.

Thursday: Star Trek Review

Be sure to check out our Star Trek review on Thursday. The R and R Review saw the movie last week but were sworn to secrecy by the movie mafia until it opened. What I can/will say about this latest installment is that it's different from the previous Star Treks, but you probably aready knew that nugget of knowledge.

Review: Verde Taqueria

This weekend the wife and I decided to try out a new taqueria in town called Verde. The biggest allure was that it's located in the neighborhood of Atlanta we live in, which for some unknown reason has very few restaurants, especially compared to the rest of the city. Because of the constant threat of swine flu and the fact Verde opened just last week, we were hoping most of the locals would have no clue about Verde or stay in the safety of their homes, despite the dire restaurant shortage. As we swung by on Friday around 9pm, though, the place was busting at the seams like Kirstie Alley after an all night cupcake binger. I summoned the wife to see about the wait, but as I slowly patrolled by and looked at the dejected people sipping their corona lights, I knew this was only going to be a fly by. Sure enough, at an hour and a half wait for tacos, we were out of there like the Republican Party in Washington. I told you the people in my neighborhood are desperate for food. Don’t be surprised if you hear the words “Thunderdome” and “Brookhaven” in the same sentence down the road.

We decided to give Verde another chance at a glowing review and even a little bit of an edge as we waited until almost 2:30pm to eat lunch on Saturday. Being later in the afternoon and with dark clouds rolling in from the west, I figured we had a better chance at a table…just praying it wasn’t a patio table. Sure enough the crowds were less, but there was still a short wait. After a few minutes looking around and being tempted to tell them I was with the Atlanta Journal Constitution, I noticed to my displeasure that the wait was a bit artificial. Several tables were open, but the many disoriented servers running around the place like chickens with their heads cut off didn’t notice. There had to be a server for every two or three tables, which created too much commotion and potential for disaster coming out of the kitchen. It didn’t take long for the uneasy feeling of warm salsa and half eaten tacos to slap against the back of my legs.

After scowling for about ten minutes, a server (or maybe the host, although he seemed to be waiting tables as well) started to seat the annoyed patrons squeezed into the very small waiting area, because of the flooding rains outside. Verde had a good look, although a bit cold for a taco place. Half of the restaurant was windows creating a lot of light, while the other half was painted dark brown colors. The lack of wall space allowed the restaurant owners the opportunity to really go to town in decorating the remaining walls, but most of them were left unfilled leaving the place a bit bland.

Once seated, we were able to check out the menu, which was slightly different than that online. A MAJOR pet peeve of mine is when online menus do not disclose the price. Verde has taken a page from this book, and why a taco place feels they are too exclusive and snobby to add prices, I’m not sure. Tacos range in the $3-$4 dollar range, which I found to be on the pricey side, especially in this draconian economy. I guess I’m getting used to Taqueria Del Sol’s $2.19 price point. Once our disgruntled waiter noticed us and took our order, I was able to taste the rib, fried chicken club, buffalo chicken and pulled pork tacos (no I did not order all four for myself). I must say the rib and the pulled pork were by far the tastiest, but the buffalo and chicken club weren’t half bad. We also ate the chips and salsa which were good, but nothing special. I wanted to try the guacamole, but at nearly 7 bucks (and plans to have homemade guac later in the day), we decided to pass.

To sum up Verde, the service was horrible, but the food was very good. I’m not sure if it’s just first week jitters for the servers, or if they are all family friends from the Hamptons that have never served food a day in their life, but the service was unfriendly, rushed and chaotic. While the atmosphere had a trendy but a bit cold feel, the warm tasty food definitely saved the experience. In a month or so, once some of the savages find another place to eat, and the servers get a clue, I will definitely be eating at Verde again. It’s just too close to my house with food too tasty to pass up.

Verde gets a Spork Rating of:

www.verdetacos.com

1426 Dresden Dr NEAtlanta, GA 30319

(404) 254-5319

Mon-Thurs: 11am-10pm

Fri-Sat: 11am-12am

Sun: 11am-9pm