Who Will Replace Urban Meyer?

Well, it's that time of year again. Charlie Weis is on the hot seat at Notre Dame and Urban Meyer is again the coach in waiting. What makes this year different? Weis is as done as that turkey in Christmas Vacation. So, what does that mean for Florida fans? Unfortunately, a very likely chance Urban is gone. This is no Billy to Kentucky scenario. Urban is Notre Dame football. He wanted to go there after Utah, but his wife said no. It is his dream job, as he has announced to the world. Florida fans, set yourself up for major disappointment.

So, with this devastating news and after making a few calls to some agents, ADs, sports writers and people generally in the "know", I've come up with a short list of Florida's likely replacements. Here is the order in which Jeremy Foley, Florida's AD, should make the call:

1. Ron Zook: An obvious choice. Been a head coach in the SEC and Big 10. Need I really say more? He was even Florida's head coach once and a stellar recruiter. The only thorn in his side? Coaching. But, he has obviously remedied that with Illinois. They did go to the Rose Bowl (a few years ago) by the way.

2. Lane Kiffin: Only 34 and already been an NFL and SEC coach. I'm also impressed with the coaches' first year stats. He sits at 5-5, when everyone expected him to be like...5-5. He has a big mouth, like the Ol' Ball Coach, and Florida fans love that kind of stuff. Additionally, he keeps a well disciplined team without one arrest all yea....oops, strike that.

3. Charlie Weis: I hear he may be available to take the job. It's just a hunch. Who can deny this offensive genius if some school is foolish enough to let him go? Just one problem...Defense...and weight.

4. Ted Roof: He has my last name, a major plus. He once was head coach at Duke, just like the Steve Spurrier, the Heisman and National Championship winner. Can someone say...similarities?? Also, he kind of looks like a heftier Steve Martin. There are just too many things saying this is so right. I hope Auburn can part ways.

5. Doug Peters: Former Lake Mary High School head coach and current athletic director. So innovative, he found a way out of a 0-10 record...cancellation of a game due to inclement weather. This is the kind of innovative leader we need at Florida. First the Fun N Gun, then the spread and now...GOD. Only problem is, why would he leave such a successful high school program for Florida?

Don't worry Gator fans...if Urban leaves, it's obvious we will be in good hands.