ALERT: Michael Jackson Dead

It seems Michael Jackson died today.

The Redcoats are Coming!!!

No, I’m not Paul Revere and our crooked teeth friends across the Atlantic are posing us no threat. I did however learn that Delta has re-implemented their “Red Coats” customer service agents and will be expanding their reach throughout the summer. Who are these Red Coat donned people? They are the ones who are supposed to be “in the know” and able to fix whatever problem you have with the Delta. They must be God. Everyone knows the airlines have so many problems with their customer service, business model, etc, that I doubt any mortal will be able to fix their problems, red coats or not.

While this is a gesture that shouldn’t go unnoticed (or the fact the Delta often ranks very low on customer surveys), but can it really fix the problem? While I’m a relatively young guy, I do remember the days when flying was an experience. I remember one of the first flights I took as a child…putting on my dress shirt, clip on tie, dress pants and my penny loafers…pennies and all. Back then, you dressed up to get on a plane. People could say goodbye and hello to you at the gate. People who flew looked at it like a luxury…because it was more of a luxury. You were pampered on those flights. You even got meals (I can’t remember if they tasted like rubber or not, but we got them).

Now the whole flying experience is full of pain, stress and there is hardly any pleasure except landing safely. From the TSA security lines, to the overbooking of too few flights, flying anywhere makes you think twice. On top of it all, we are getting charged for every aspect of the flight: pillows, soda, snack, luggage…soon bathrooms! We have to use our own computers, electricity and internet service to book the flight. If we call for help…tack on $35 dollars to the ticket. The carriers say they do it so they can survive, plus we are getting “used” to such items. Right now I can only blame us…the customer. We scour the internet for hours upon hours, days upon days to find the cheapest ticket. The airlines figured out…you want a cheap ticket…okay, but nothing else is included. I’m waiting for the day when I get charged extra to sit down, rather than stand and to have a veteran pilot, rather than a newbie.

If Delta or any of the other airlines actually want to help passengers and have them enjoy flying again, they are going to have to spend a little money. They need to really make the flying experience an experience again. While people like a good deal, I think most customers also will pay a little more for a good product. I don’t fly Spirit anymore because it was no better than flying on a greyhound bus. How come a company like Apple can sell so many computers that are MORE expensive than a PC? Because it works a hell of a lot better! If an airline decided to improve the entire experience, I guarantee you that customers would be willing to pay an extra 20 bucks a ticket, or even put up with the baggage fees. Instead of spending all that money on Red Coats, here are some of my dream suggestions:

1. More kiosks. Since most customer service agents are jerks anyways, how about have more electronic kiosks around to help passengers rebook cancelled flights (with NO fees) and give out food and hotel vouchers, etc. If an airline knows a flight has been canceled and does this stuff anyways, why make people wait in a line 100 people deep? Technology is so much more effective at figuring out the next best flight.

2. Nicer Agents. Of course, agents will still be needed because technology isn’t without flaws. Make sure the agents you have employed are NICE. Bad attitude is a one way ticket to the unemployment line.

3. Televisions at every seat. Yes, this is pricey, but I would pay 5 bucks (more on longer flights) each flight to have my own tv with actual television and on-demand shows.

4. Give people a nice warm towel. This may seem a bit over the top or silly, but can you imagine after getting into your seat, your flight attendant comes by with a nice hot hand towel. RELAXING.

5. Keep giving free non-alcoholic drinks, charge more for pricier food options that people will actually want to eat. Keep price points reasonable.

6. Figure out a way to make boarding more pleasant. Right now people want to rush on the plane not to get their already assigned seat…but to get carry on bag space. Go back to having the first bag checked free…and figure out how not to lose so many bags to the bag eating monster the lives under every airport.

While a nice gesture, Delta’s Red Coats doesn’t go anywhere close to solving the problem of customer service. The idea gets a Spork Rating of:

Quick Review: The Hangover

Since the Hangover has been out for a couple weekends already, I figured I wouldn’t do a full blown review, but let everyone know what I thought. I finally saw this comedy on Friday night and am really glad I went. This story from the director of Old School was fresh and original, while the overall concept (buddies having a bachelor party in Vegas) was nothing new. I was a little worried this flick would be too familiar, but it didn’t disappoint. What made the story unique was that you never had any clue what actually happened during Doug Billings’ (Justin Bartha) bachelor party in Vegas. While you see the foursome, Doug, Phil (Bradley Cooper), Stu (Ed Helms) and Alan (Zach Galifianakis) embark on their night of fun in Vegas after taking a spiced up shot and a minor slice to Alan’s hand with a pocket knife (although in the end no one wanted to be blood brothers with him), the next thing we see is Phil, Stu, Alan and a Mike Tyson's tiger waking up in their Caesar’s Palace villa without the groom-to-be Doug. This begins the wild re-tracing of the previous night’s events in order to find out what happened to Doug before his wedding on the next day. While the story had a few dull moments in the middle, for the most part it was hilarious, especially the interplay between Phil, Stu and the mildly insane and slow Alan. In fact, I feel it was the Alan character that probably brought the most humor to the movie and tied everything together.

It was also nice at the end of the movie getting a brief taste of what actually happened that night, but while still leaving plenty to the imagination. I think most people can relate to a movie like this, because many of us have had bachelor parties, been to a friend’s bachelor party or just had way too much to drink the night before. I give this movie a Spork Rating of:

Christopher J. Robinson's Quickie Review:

Zach Galifianakis stole the movie (or was that the point?). I felt like Bradley Cooper's character was slightly contrived and felt forced. Ed Helms was great and carried the plot, while Zach G. carried the humor. Some of the role players were obnoxious (i.e. the Asian guy). I knew right away where Doug was. The tiger in the car scene was eerily similar to the deer in the car scene from Tommy Boy. I enjoyed the Mike Tyson element. I felt like the movie was dragging about 2/3rds of the way though, but ended strong. My favorite scene was the rooftop scene in the beginning. Overall, it was very funny and there were a few times when I thought BA Roof was going into one of his fits. Question: don't roofies put you out like a light rather quickly so that you can be taken advantage of? I wasn't aware that roofies give you the wildest night ever with the only negative side effect being memory loss. Oh well, doesn't really matter I guess. The Hangover gets...

Rated R

Open Everywhere

Guest Review: Up

The R & R Review has hired our friend and Disney Pixar fanatic Bill Tom Kriby to give our readers his take on the latest Pixar feature, Up. Here are his words...

I have a question for you - what movie studio has won 2/3rds of all academy awards that it has been nominated for (in its class)? Here’s a hint: their movies feature some of these well known actors - Tom Hanks, Paul Newman, Samuel L Jackson, and Jason Lee. If you guessed Pixar, you were right. When one of the R's asked me to be a guest movie reviewer for the website, I jumped at the opportunity, especially since the movie I was going to be seeing was Up in 3D. Being a self-proclaimed Pixar lover, I knew that Up had a lot to live "up" to (sorry), especially since the previous installation, Wall-E, was such an excellent production.

Up brings us the story of Carl Fredricksen (voice of Ed Asner) who longs to be an explorer and visit the wilderness in South America. As a young, shy boy, he meets a talkative, outgoing girl named Ellie who has the same dream. Carl and Ellie then start their lives together and vow to get to Paradise Falls in South America. Skip to almost 70 years later and Carl still has not made it to Paradise Falls. As Carl realizes that he may never get there, he decides to tie thousands of balloons to his house in order to reach his dream destination. As he is ascending in his house, he learns that he has a surprise guest on his porch. This stowaway is another explorer, albeit much, much younger. Russell is a Wilderness Explorer that is attempting to obtain his final badge, the Assisting the Elderly badge. The excursion that Carl and Russell then embark upon leads us to an event filled adventure with visually stimulating animation, funny dialogue, exciting scenes, and a satisfying (yet predictable) ending.

Entering the theater, I did not know anything about the movie as there has not been much publicizing the way other Pixar movies seem to be. The first few scenes really helped me connect with Carl - in a way that other movies would have trouble doing in such a short period of time. It is amazing how Pixar can make a movie that lures in the adults with good character development and adult story lines while still keeping the kids entertained with visuals and humor. Russell and Dug the dog provide all the laughs you would need, although there is an especially funny dream sequence that Carl has as the house is just lifting off. I could really see Carl changing from a crabby old man to a man letting go of his past and embracing the opportunity he has to change his attitude and open up his heart. This is by far the most mature themed movie made by Pixar. There are a couple moments when the other theater-goers (including me) were tearing up because of the emotions that we could relate to from our own lives. The way Pixar can provide entertainment for all ages will keep crowds coming back for more. This movie definitely does not disappoint and I would give Up an R&R rating of 4.5 sporks.

Let me finish by saying that the 3D experience was well worth the extra $3 dollar charge, especially since you get to keep the new, plastic-wrapped, manufacturer provided "sunglasses". These weren't like the flimsy paper glasses I was used to when I was growing up. I was apprehensive of the 3D at first, running all of the possible outcomes through my head. I thought I may be sprinting out of the theater to throw up due to the information overload my eyes and head were taking in, but it turns out that the effect was well done. 3D looks like the next step for Pixar as Toy Story 3 (due out in 2010) will be done in that format as well.

-Bill Tom Kriby hails from Sarasota, FL. His son, Will, is going to pop out any day now.

The New Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien

Editor’s Note: Due to press time (or the fact that I feel asleep at around midnight), this review will only be discussing the opening monologue portion of the show.

So, last night was the FIRST night of the new Conan era at NBC’s The Tonight Show and I was happy with the results. Many critics, talk show hosts, pseudo-news reporters have been questioning whether Conan would dumb down (I mean, soften) his humor for the boring 11:30pm crowd. I’m not even sure what that means since most elderly people were fast asleep by 8pm and anyone with kids probably passed out around 10pm, but I guess the viewing numbers don’t lie. While the show wasn't Late Night, I think the new set and the opening bit proved that Conan fans have nothing to worry about. First shows are always going to be a little more subdued and vanilla, but I think enough of the old Late Night was retained to give us a glimpse of what future shows will hold once Conan gets more comfortable with the new show and some of the pressure is off.

The set design was vastly different from Jay Leno’s bright colorful set, as this one had evening colors and looked a lot more like Conan’s New York City show, yet bigger and a bit more polished. I read a comment posted regarding another Tonight Show story (I always get up by 4am and read all newspapers for stories I want to plagiarize) where the person said that Conan’s old sidekick, Andy Richter (who is back) now resembles the late Chris Farley. I have to say, that was a spot on observation and every shot of Andy kind of freaked me at the time, but I couldn’t understand why. Now, I know it was because my eyes thought they were seeing a ghost. Not sure why he looks or acts more like Farley now, but let’s hope that changes. It’s creepy. Right now, Andy is an awkward fit with the show's flow, but I'm sure in time it will evolve. I also kind of miss Conan’s old announcer Joel Godard and I’m wondering what the suits at NBC did with him.

Overall, the show had some very funny skits and showcased Conan’s oddball humor. Yes, it wasn't Late Night...but again, we couldn't expect Conan to be that way in the first week...probably not in the first few weeks. But, it wasn't Jay, which is great news. Unfortunately for Conan, there will probably be less viewers, because greedy Leno will siphon some off at the 10pm spot and let’s face it, people have more channels to watch and the networks will continue their large loss of viewers at all hours. Let’s just hope NBC doesn’t freak out, kill Conan in some bizarre Universal back lot accident, and rehire Jay when his 10pm show fails. NBC needs to know they made the right long-term move by keeping Conan. As his younger viewers age, they will stick with him and he will introduce more youth to NBC’s extremely long running show. While Jay was okay, Conan is much more original and better suited for the late night gig. I give the new Tonight Show a Spork Rating of:

The Tonight Show

NBC, 11:30pm, Monday - Friday