BA Roof:
On Monday night, Christopher J Robinson and I decided to try out something new, something all the kids are talking about. Twitter. He will be providing his own commentary on the experience, but I wanted to share my own.
First, let me back up and say when I heard about Twitter, I really didn’t understand the point. And now? I still don’t, although plenty of articles go on in lengths about how great it is for differing reasons. Now, before any of you Twitter fans start calling me a grandpa for not embracing new technology…I have to say I tried. I really wanted to be a Twitter fan. I love new technology and at times I am a snob about it. I like to claim that I was one of the first on Facebook, joining in 2004. I own a Macbook (I owned an Ibook, too), own two Ipods and an Iphone. I even blog now. But, even politicians are using Twitter now, so I thought, man I need to get in on this if John McCain is using it and I’m not.
So, Mr. Robinson and I thought it would be a great idea to tweet about the latest 24 episode on Monday night for our loyal readers. After all, we do review episodes of 24 every couple of weeks, so why not tweet about it while we are actually viewing it? He was Jack and I was Agent Moss and we were going to give our own rendition of what those two characters were actually thinking. It was brilliant, although we found out many others do the same thing. As we began, I immediately had writer’s block. All the funny witty things that I thought of beforehand had evaporated. I freaked out. I couldn’t even watch the show. I couldn’t think of what to write. I hated Twitter. It was stupid. I felt embarrassed for myself, like some father trying to hang with his kids. About two thirds of the way through, I quit figuring no one would even care what I wrote.
Maybe I shouldn’t give up on Twitter after just this one horrifying experience, but really who cares what I’m doing all day, except my usual stalker. I find it hard enough to sign on to Facebook to check out profiles, pictures, etc. and now I have to start linking up to my friends seeing what they ate and how they slept the night before? No, I’m out. I’m not doing Twitter. I recommend the same for you, as this will end the same way as all fads do. You will look back at pictures of you tweeting and images of slap bracelets and New Coke will emerge. Unless you are vain or terribly bored, I give Twitter a Spork Rating of:
Firstly, does BA Roof really need to rub our faces in the fact that he is rolling in the dough? Two laptops, two iPods, an iPhone… I’m surprised he didn’t mention his Boston Whaler or his time-share in Daytona Beach. Not a week goes by that I don’t hear him slip something about his rare coin collection into casual conversation. Some of us in the bourgeoisie only have ONE iPod and we stay in motels or sleep in our cars, not lavish time-shares. Rare coins to us are quarters, not colonial currency.
For obvious reasons, I have been very hesitant to go anywhere near Twitter. But then I found out that Shaq uses it. And Michael Showalter uses it. And Stewart Cink uses it. The list of random celebrities that use Twitter is endless. It’s fun to read Shaq’s tweets (and even more fun to say) and see pictures of Steve Nash sleeping on the bus. Michael Showalter’s tweets are funny. And Stewart Cink tweeted that he will be tweeting a lot during the Masters, which is pretty awesome. But do I care about the fact that Andy down the street is having trouble with his bowel movements or that Jill is being unproductive and sitting on the couch??? The answer is no. I don’t care, and no one else cares. We only care about the celebs, not the average Joe.
We also have the fact that stuff like Twitter is killing the internet as a venue for skilled writing. Bill Simmons puts it best: “In 15 years, writing went from "reflecting on what happened and putting together some coherent thoughts" to "reflecting on what happened as quickly as possible" to "reflecting on what's happening as it's happening" to "here are my half-baked thoughts about absolutely anything and I'm not even going to attempt to entertain you," or as I like to call it, Twitter/Facebook Syndrome.”
Of course, there are people out there that think Twitter can make you a better writer. It forces you to be concise, exercise vocabulary, yada yada yada. I completely disagree. Why is concise writing better writing? A more concise Dickens would have been better, yes, but the idea behind writing is to paint a picture with words. Writing in any form will help you exercise your vocabulary, and the more you write the more words you will need, and ultimately learn.
But what this all boils down to is that no one cares what you are doing every second of the day, unless you make it absurd and over the top. For instance, tweeting (so sick of this word, by the way) about bathroom phobias or live updates about striking out with women could possibly provide some comic relief. So while I don’t care to know that Ralph had a rough day at work and is feeling kind of crappy, I do find it funny that Vince has a corn on his foot the size of Portugal. See the difference?
Here is the R and R Review’s failed attempt at tweeting the thoughts of Jack Bauer and Agent Moss during this week’s episode of 24…. http://twitter.com/randrreview.
And if you have no idea what we are talking about, you can move to the UK and get a Master’s degree in Facebook, MySpace and Twitter.
1 comment:
Amen.
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