R & R Review

Banquet-Fed Pig of the Month

2011-06-01T13:47:00.003-04:00

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie.

Lawyer.
Lobbyist.
Governor.
President???

Hide the cupcakes and close the buffets, Washington DC. Chris Christie might be rolling through town.

Seasons Belated Greetings

2011-01-07T16:13:00.003-05:00

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from the R&R Review! We know, we know... we're a tad bit late on this, but the drugs just wore off and we're ready to spear 2011 in the back!

Cheers,

Christopher and BA

Georgia's new state bird: The Chicken? YES!

2010-02-25T11:43:00.004-05:00

So, some restaurateur wants to make Georgia's state bird the chicken, instead of the brown thrasher. I rolled around and laughed at first. But, when I read more about it, he has some very compelling arguments, mostly how much money slaughtering chickens in the State of Georgia brings to Georgia citizens. I wasn't really sold on it though, until I saw the propaganda video on his website. The dirty secrets that I found out about the brown thrasher...like its migratory, rather than being secured in some small cage in Georgia, before being slaughtered. Then, the fact it's LAZY (since when did it put food on our tables)... made me really resent the brown thrasher. Upon more research, I discovered that this stupid bird was made the "State Bird" because of the radical Garden Club of Georgia in the 1970s. The words "garden" and "club" just have deceit and extremists written all over it.

If you are so pro Georgia, why would you ever fly to another state like the brown thrasher? You don't see Georgia chickens escaping their little cages and running to South Carolina, do you? No, we'd kill 'em if they did that. Plus, chickens come in so many different shapes and sizes, like fried, grilled and baked....not like the stupid lazy brown thrasher that spends his days fluttering around in the sky. Put me down as saying...the Chicken should be the new bird for Georgia.

Airport Rankings Out

2010-02-19T11:12:00.005-05:00

So US airport rankings for customer satisfaction came out from J.D. Power. The airports were scored on a 1,000 point scale. Those of you that live in Atlanta or travel through Hartsfield-Jackson Airport might be interested more in the score, than where they ended up on the list. What was it's magical number? 666. I'm thinking about flying out of Birmingham from now on. Of course, what could be more alarming is the highest score of any airport is 777. If we lop off a digit and place this on a 100 point scale, that's a 77....a C in most grade schools. I guess that sums up air travel.

The Death of a Name

2010-02-18T15:03:00.002-05:00

So, after some research, I came to the bone chilling conclusion today that the name "Brian" is dying a very quick death. Not since the name "Linda" has there been such a fall from grace. Brian enjoyed some great success in the 1960s-80s, peaking at # 8 in the 1970s. But, in the 2000s, the name only mustered a # 58 rating. The name hasn't been this low on the list since the 1940s, when it didn't even break the top 100 list. I'm thinking about starting a grass roots effort to revive the name. After all, if Abigail can come back from its precipitous decline in the late 1800s to # 6 in the 2000s, I think Brian can move back into the top 20.

Who Will Replace Urban Meyer?

2009-11-18T14:30:00.006-05:00

Well, it's that time of year again. Charlie Weis is on the hot seat at Notre Dame and Urban Meyer is again the coach in waiting. What makes this year different? Weis is as done as that turkey in Christmas Vacation. So, what does that mean for Florida fans? Unfortunately, a very likely chance Urban is gone. This is no Billy to Kentucky scenario. Urban is Notre Dame football. He wanted to go there after Utah, but his wife said no. It is his dream job, as he has announced to the world. Florida fans, set yourself up for major disappointment.

So, with this devastating news and after making a few calls to some agents, ADs, sports writers and people generally in the "know", I've come up with a short list of Florida's likely replacements. Here is the order in which Jeremy Foley, Florida's AD, should make the call:

1. Ron Zook: An obvious choice. Been a head coach in the SEC and Big 10. Need I really say more? He was even Florida's head coach once and a stellar recruiter. The only thorn in his side? Coaching. But, he has obviously remedied that with Illinois. They did go to the Rose Bowl (a few years ago) by the way.

2. Lane Kiffin: Only 34 and already been an NFL and SEC coach. I'm also impressed with the coaches' first year stats. He sits at 5-5, when everyone expected him to be like...5-5. He has a big mouth, like the Ol' Ball Coach, and Florida fans love that kind of stuff. Additionally, he keeps a well disciplined team without one arrest all yea....oops, strike that.

3. Charlie Weis: I hear he may be available to take the job. It's just a hunch. Who can deny this offensive genius if some school is foolish enough to let him go? Just one problem...Defense...and weight.

4. Ted Roof: He has my last name, a major plus. He once was head coach at Duke, just like the Steve Spurrier, the Heisman and National Championship winner. Can someone say...similarities?? Also, he kind of looks like a heftier Steve Martin. There are just too many things saying this is so right. I hope Auburn can part ways.

5. Doug Peters: Former Lake Mary High School head coach and current athletic director. So innovative, he found a way out of a 0-10 record...cancellation of a game due to inclement weather. This is the kind of innovative leader we need at Florida. First the Fun N Gun, then the spread and now...GOD. Only problem is, why would he leave such a successful high school program for Florida?

Don't worry Gator fans...if Urban leaves, it's obvious we will be in good hands.

Where the Wild Things Are

2009-10-30T16:55:00.004-04:00

I must admit, I don’t really remember much about the book “Where the Wild Things Are”, as the last time I read it (or probably when I had it read to me as I was illiterate until the age of 20), I think I was four years old. However, I do remember the illustrations of the “wild things” and after seeing Spike Jonze’s movie, I was amazed at his imagination and artistic detail in bringing them to life.

The movie seems to be made for adults who enjoyed the book as children, but now better comprehend (at least some of us) the complexities of what Max and his mother are going through, which causes him to escape to a distant land. Where the Wild Things Are is a very artistic movie, so if you are hoping to be thoroughly entertained by scenes plush with action and dialogue, you will be disappointed. Instead, Jonze captures the purity of child’s imagination. The imagery, especially of the Carol’s (James Gandolfini) model and Max’s fort, is spectacular and I almost felt transported to my own childhood mind. The acting is superb by both the humans, Max Records (“Max”) and Catherine Keener (“Mom”), and the the monsters, voiced by actors such as Gandolfini, Catherine O’Hara (“Judith”), Forest Whitaker (“Ira”) and Chris Cooper (“Douglas”).

The only downfall of the movie might have been its ambition. Making a film from a book that consists of only ten sentences and staying true to the story can be quite difficult, if not impossible. The book is meant to capture only five or ten minutes of a child’s imagination, while the movie must keep them entertained for an hour and a half. Because of this, I don’t recommend this movie for children much younger than eight years old. I’m not sure if they would get it. The catch-22 is that older children might not remain entertained during the long stretches that lack action or even much dialogue. The movie’s beauty comes in its imagery and deep message that only adults may truly be able to cherish. Has Where the Wild Things Are missed its targeted audience? Not sure, but they found it with me.

I give Where the Wild Things Are a Spork rating of:

College Football Top 20 Week 8

2009-10-27T10:38:00.004-04:00

Because we punished Florida the week before, with a near loss at home to an unranked Arkansas, the same happened to Alabama for a near loss at home to an unranked Tennessee. We also got analysis from Lee Corso on what really happened to Arkansas...they just shot their wad. Here's this week's Top 20.

BA Roof's Top 20

1) Florida

2) Alabama

3) Texas

4) Iowa

5) Cincinnati

6) Oregon

7) USC

8) LSU

9) TCU

10) Georgia Tech

11) Penn State

12) Houston

13) Oklahoma State

14) Pittsburgh

15) West Virginia

16) Virginia Tech

17) South Carolina

18) Miami, FL

19) Ohio State

20) Boise State

Christopher J. Robinson's Top 20

1) Florida

2) Alabama

3) Texas

4) LSU

5) Oregon

6) USC

7) TCU

8) Iowa

9) Cincinnati

10) Boise State

11) Georgia Tech

12) Penn State

13) Houston

14) Ok State

15) Virginia Tech

16) Pittsburgh

17) Miami FL

18) Ohio State1

9) South Carolina

20) Utah

Top 20 College Football Week 7

2009-10-19T15:07:00.003-04:00

Florida players must have read my last post and decided to prove me wrong. Not only did they come in with another conservative game plan, but the players couldn't execute it very well. We also learned on Saturday that Texas looks even worse and Alabama is strong, but not as strong as some thought as their offense struggled for three quarters against South Carolina (everyone but Ingram). While the SEC is having a "down" year, so is the Big 12, Big 10 and pretty much every other conference...so does that mean it's "down"?

Some good news for Florida State and Bobby Bowden, they didn't lose last weekend...of course, they didn't win either. Bad news for Ron Zook and Illinois...Ron Zook is still the Illinois head coach and hasn't figured out how to implement his top secret take no prisoners game plan. That's because he hasn't found it, yet.

For the first time this year, Florida is no longer on the top of our polls. If they can find an offense somewhere, they will have a chance to return, although it doesn't really matter much since they will most likely play Alabama in the SEC Championship game.

BA Roof's Top 20

1) Alabama

2) Florida

3) Iowa

4) Texas

5) Cincinnati

6) Miami, FL

7) Oregon

8) USC

9) LSU

10) TCU

11) Georgia Tech

12) Houston

13) Penn State

14) Oklahoma State

15) Pittsburg

16) Virginia Tech

17) Texas Tech

18) BYU

19) South Carolina

20) Boise State

Christopher J. Robinson's Top 20

1) Alabama

2) Florida

3) Iowa

4) Texas

5) Oregon

6) Miami FL

7) USC

8) Cincinnati

9) Boise State

10) TCU

11) LSU

12) Georgia Tech

13) Penn State

14) Houston

15) Oklahoma State

16) Virginia Tech

17) BYU

18) South Carolina

19) Texas Tech

20) Ohio State

TOP 20 College Football Poll

2009-10-14T17:19:00.005-04:00

A big question developing is whether Florida deserves to be ranked No. 1? I think we, like many others, have placed them there because they are the defending champions, lost few players (although some key ones on offense) and are still undefeated playing in the SEC. However, Alabama has played more "tough" teams thus far and remain unbeaten. If we went solely on who teams have played to this date...Alabama should be ranked No. 1. If we add returning players and what we anticipate from the team...it appears to be Florida. Some people think Florida's offense has been bad this year. But, there is a difference in being a bad offense and being a conservative offense. The Florida offensive players are making the plays (unlike FSU receivers and O-line). It's the Florida game plan, whether right or wrong, since playing too conservative can be costly (See Ron Zook). If Urban doesn't open up the offense a little bit on Arkansas this week, we may have to bump Bama to the No. 1 spot.

BA Roof's Top 20

1) Florida

2) Alabama

3) Texas

4) Virginia Tech

5) Iowa

6) Cincinnati

7) Miami

8) Oregon

9) USC

10) LSU

11) Ohio State

12) Nebraska

13) Penn State

14) South Carolina

15) South Florida

16) TCU

17) Georgia Tech

18) Houston

19) Oklahoma State

20) Boise State

Christopher J. Robinson's Top 20

1) Florida

2) Alabama

3) Texas

4) Virginia Tech

5) Cincinnati

6) Miami FL

7) Boise State

8) Oregon

9) Iowa

10) LSU

11) USC

12) Ohio State

13) Kansas

14) Penn State

15) Nebraska

16) South Florida

17) South Carolina

18) TCU

19) Georgia Tech

20) Houston

Guest Review: The Office Wedding Episode

2009-10-09T23:44:00.007-04:00

Dear friend of the R&R Review and fellow blogger Trip Reed has offered us his review of last night's episode of The Office...

I would like to preface my review of "the wedding episode" with my thoughts on The Office so far. I have actually been watching The Office since its debut in America, though to be honest, I don't exactly remember what my initial thoughts were of the show. The short first season was pretty rocky as the writers didn't really hit their stride until the second season, but I was in from the beginning.

I think that I really came to appreciate the show when a co-worker let me borrow her copy of the British version of The Office back in the beginning of 2006. Being able to watch that helped me get a better grasp on the origins of the show and its model characters, and to better appreciate the uniquely American perspective. It was also good to be able to contrast Tim and Dawn with Jim and Pam because for me, and for a lot of other people, that relationship is really what got me hooked on the show. I had a bit of an unrequited love situation happening at the time, and I enjoyed being able to commiserate with Tim and Jim.

While I sometimes wish that the British version had been longer because it was just so good, as the American version of The Officehas pushed far past the 12 episodes of the original, I appreciate more and more how smart Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant were to end their show when they did. It had a happy ending, but was able to wrap it up with dignity. As the American version drags into its sixth season, there are sharks being jumped left and right. Pam going to graphic design school; Pam becoming a sales person; Michael and Holly; Charles Miner; the Michael Scott Paper Company; the engagement; the pregnancy; and now the wedding. The "less is more" aesthetic of the British Office is what continues to make it excellent while the far-out nature of the American version continues to wear on viewers. Most importantly for me, while watching the British version, I can really imagine it as a documentary. For the American version, this concept seems to have been pretty much thrown out the window (except for when it is convenient for the writers) even though this was the central premise of the entire seri

In spite of my griping, I do continue to watch The Office weekly, though along with (or perhaps, because of) the endless parade of plot twists, its level of funniness (is that a word?) has continued to drop since, oh, probably the end of season three. I will be quick to admit, though, that season six has proven to be surprisingly funny so far. And it is with that, that we finally come to my review of "the wedding episode."

Being an hour long, I wasn't quite sure what to expect, though after seeing all of those sappy-looking commercials, I didn't have high hopes. However, as I watched, I did get quite a few laughs. Michael has a classic cringe-inducing moment during the rehearsal dinner speech, and his lodging situation (or lack thereof) was pretty funny as well. Suffice it to say, I was rather enjoying the episode until about the last 10 or 15 minutes. **Spoiler alert** Once the wedding dance scene kicked in, I was completely turned off. This was one of the most asinine things I have seen on a comedy in a long time. Again, keeping in mind that the point of the show is to be a documentary about real people working at a paper company, this was completely unrealistic and utterly absurd. And then to mix in mawkish scenes and Jim and Pam getting married on the Maid of the Mist--completely stupid (besides, how did they get dry so fast?). I think I saw the Fonz jumping over their boat on a motorcycle at one point.

On top of all of the nonsense that was going on there at the end, did anyone actually have an emotional reaction to them getting married? The whole Jim and Pam thing long ago ran out of excitement for me. I think the last time I actually had any interest in that relationship was in the season finale of season three when Jim interrupts Pam's interview to ask her out. While it is probably impossible to drag out an unrequited love story for 6+ seasons, I think that this again highlights the wisdom in ending a show after a specific number of episodes. When writers know their time line, they can create an actual story arc instead of an endlessly wagging story wet noodle.

So in conclusion, was the wedding episode as bad as some might have feared? No, it wasn't; it was actually pretty funny, though for me, the entire wedding sequence was irrelevant. However, I am giving this episode 2-1/2 sporks. It would have been 4 sporks, but the last ten minutes really blew it and cost the show 1-1/2 sporks.

Thanks to Chris Robinson and Mr. Roof for letting me post here.

R and R Top 20: College Football Week 5

2009-10-05T09:56:00.007-04:00

The leaves are beginning to change up north as we complete a third of the college football season. Some teams are still in the hunt, while others are anticipating next season (sorry FSU fans, you might as well hold out for the 2012 season). We are possibly going to get another epic match up in Baton Rouge this Saturday night as the Gators take on the Tigers. There are more questions surrounding these two teams than David Letterman's sex life. Will Tebow play, is LSU a good team or a lucky team? Today will only have my rankings, as the other R is currently on assignment in Hawaii, which reminds me that I need to finish (write) the rest of my Hawaii posts. Mr. Robinson will be reporting on the islands of Oahu and Hawai'i (Big Island). This week, my biggest challenge was where to rank the Big 12 teams (or not). There are several teams still undefeated, but have been playing JV football teams. We should find out more this week as some of them are actually playing real college teams. I still refuse to rank Boise State higher than 20, no matter how good Oregon plays. Come on, you have to play more than one real game a year.

BA Roof's Top 20

1. Florida
2. Alabama
3. Texas
4. LSU
5. Virginia Tech
6. Iowa
7. Cincinnati
8. Auburn
9. Miami
10. USC
11. Oregon
12. Ohio State
13. Penn State
14. South Carolina
15. TCU
16. Georgia Tech
17. Wisconsin
18. Kansas
19. Michigan
20. Boise State

Corky St. Clair is Real

2009-10-02T10:22:00.006-04:00

The networks are now pushing their new fall lineups down our throats, but I must say that this year’s freshman programs have been a lot better than the last couple of years. While I have enjoyed the new comedies Glee and Modern Family (though still not replacing Arrested Development) and am hopeful that FlashForward will be more like Lost than Fringe (sorry, when things get super Sci Fi and not a shred of it based on any science or reality, I tend to tune out…and yes, an island moving through time is plausible). But I think the real winner is not on any of the networks, but on TLC. You got it, the cable channel that has brought us the Jon and Kate saga has a true gem in its midst. They have found the real Corky St. Clair.

TLC’s new show, King of the Crown, follows Cy Franks (the real Corky) "the" pageant coach in South Carolina. This is reality show gold. No one, not even Christopher Guest, could quasi script a better show. For all you Waiting for Guffman fans, your prayers have been answered and dreams have come true…Corky does exist and he lives on Wednesday nights on TLC. If Cy doesn’t win you over...I don't know what would.

King of the Crown on TLC, 9pm Wednesdays

R and R Top 20: College Football Week 4

2009-09-28T13:47:00.004-04:00

It was another crazy week for college football. More top 10 teams fell (Is Oregon that good or was Cal that bad?) which is making it difficult to decide how to rank the top 20 and which loss/win is more impressive and important. We also saw a nasty injury to Tim Tebow, which is sure to please Gator haters around the world. I understand why people don't like Tebow (envy), but you can't discount that he is a great college football player and an amazing human. Florida's ranking at number one in our polls definitely comes under some dark clouds from Mordor. Lucky for them, they have a bye this week to nurse some injuries before they go to LSU for a tough road game. As much as I am a Gator Fan, Bama is creeping closer to that No. 1 spot.

Here are our polls for this week:

BA Roof Top 20:

1. Florida

2. Alabama

3. Texas

4. Virginia Tech

5. LSU

6. Iowa

7. Cincinnati

8. USC

9. Oklahoma

10. Auburn

11. Houston

12. TCU

13. Michigan

14. Miami

15. Ohio State

16. Oregon

17. Georgia

18. South Carolina

19. Penn State

20. Boise State

Christopher J. Robinson Top 20:

1. Florida

2. Alabama

3. Texas

4. Virginia Tech

5. Oklahoma

6. Iowa

7. Cincinnati

8. LSU

9. Oregon

10. Boise State

11. Houston

12. USC

13. Michigan

14. Kansas

15. TCU

16. Miami

17. South Carolina

18. Ohio State

19. Penn State

20. OK State

Christopher J. Robinson's Best of Atlanta 2009

2009-09-25T16:02:00.004-04:00

This list may cause controversy, knife fights, stomach grumblings, or a massive increase in revenue for said eateries. Either way, these are a few of my favorite casual dining spots that won’t break the bank. I haven’t been to every restaurant in Atlanta, but I have been to enough of them to make an educated decision. There may be some local bias, hell, I may have even been paid off, but this is just one award-winning critic’s opinion.

Best Burger: Six Feet Under’s Black n’ Blue Burger

This mouth-watering, gut-busting slab of red meat may be the best I’ve ever had. This burger is served on a toasted bun with blue cheese, fried leeks & fresh chopped spinach and comes with a side of Six Feet’s famous home style potato chips. I like to get a side of their salsa verde to dip the chips in. Holy schnikees. $8.

Two locations:
Grant Park (Across from the Oakland Cemetery, hence the name)
437 Memorial Drive SE, Atlanta, GA 30312

Westside (Near GA Tech)
685 11th Street, Atlanta, GA 30318

Runner-up: The Vortex

Best Tacos: Across the Street

The self-proclaimed “Best Dressed Tacos in Town” are just that. To call them anything else would be heresy. You can either get 2 tacos with a side of rice and beans or 3 tacos. I go with 3. There are plenty of fillings to choose from: fish, chicken, steak, pork with pickled red onions, beans, avocado, chicken tenders, fried tofu, and tempeh. I typically go with chicken, steak, and pork. These savory Mexican delights come served on flour tortillas with shredded greens, pico de gallo, sour cream and feta cheese. Feta cheese! So f-ing good. Pardon my English. You can go vegan if that’s what blows your hair back. Their chips and salsa are pretty darn good as well. You will not be disappointed. $10.

Inman Park
668 Highland Ave NE, Atlanta, GA 30312

Runner-up: Taqueria del Sol

Best Pizza: Fellini’s Pizza

If you’ve lived in Atlanta for more than a week and you are under the age of 40 then you’ve had Fellini’s pizza. I don’t need to say much here. It is an Atlanta staple. They’re open late (2am) and a great way to load up on carbs to absorb booze. Slices are cheap (under 3 bucks). The White Pizza is ridonkulous.

Locations: all over the ATL.

Runner-up: Camellis

Best Wings: Brewhouse Café

For the most part, wings are wings, and in general, Atlanta doesn’t have the best wings scene. There certainly are terrible some terrible wings out there. I’ve had wings with almost no meat on them, wings with the occasional feather sticking out, and wings that are 90% fried bread. That being said, it’s hard to make the leap into the upper echelon of wing quality. Brewhouse has done this. The wings are not breaded, plump with chicken, and come smothered in your choice of a variety of sauces: chipotle hot, Jamaican jerk, lemon pepper, hot blaz-in asian, kickin ranch, honey bbq, garlic hot, the thai wing, and chipotle bbq. My personal faves are the thai wings. 10 for $8.25 or 20 for $14.95. I also kind of have a thing for one of the bartenders here.

Little 5 Points
401 Moreland Ave, Atlanta, GA 30307

Runner-up: Taco Mac

Best Beer Selection: Taco Mac Metropolis

140 beers on draft
280+ in the bottle
50 HD televisions

Need I say more?

933 Peachtree Street NE, Atlanta, GA 30309

Runner-up: Brick Store Pub

This list is short, sweet, and a stoner’s dream come true. I’m sure that in the coming weeks, BA Roof will roll out a more elegant, fine-dining ‘Best Of Atlanta’ list. Until then, enjoy some really great food and beer on the cheap. Please leave comments with your own opinions or other places to try that I may not have been to yet.

Cheers.

photo taken from caroline smith here.

R and R Top 20: College Football

2009-09-21T14:03:00.004-04:00

We are going to do our best to rank what we see as the top 20 teams out there right now. There is sure to be plenty of debate, which is what we want (and expect) between college football fans. We tried to recognize teams that have surprised us and not put too much weight on national reputation. We also won't be afraid to make drastic moves week to week, to reflect what's really happening on the field.

Additionally, a lot has been said about the top ranked team in our poles, the Florida Gators, after their less than impressive win over Tennessee. While I agree there are some potential vulnerabilities on offense, take a second to remember that Jeff Demps and Aaron Hernandez were isolated with flu symptoms all week and Demps played with a 101 fever, receiver Deonte Thompson didn't play because of a hamstring injury and receiver Riley Cooper had a pinched nerve. Did Florida make mistakes, sure. Does this game mean they are not the number one team...only if you are an Alabama fan. I think we need to see a few more games to determine if Florida is the team we thought, or if the offensive woes will ruin their bid for a third national championship in four years.

With that, here are our Top 20 lists.

BA Roof:

1. Florida

2. Alabama

3. Texas

4. Miami

5. California

6. LSU

7. Penn State

8. Cincinnati

9. Ole Miss

10. Auburn

11. USC

12. Michigan

13. Virginia Tech

14. Oklahoma

15. Ohio State

16. North Carolina

17. Oklahoma State

18. Houston

19. Washington

20. Florida State

Christopher J. Robinson:

1. Florida

2. Alabama

3. Texas

4. California

5. Ole Miss

6. Penn State

7. Miami (FL)

8. Boise State

9. LSU

10. Cincinnati

11. Oklahoma

12. Virginia Tech

13. USC

14. Florida State

15. Ohio State

16. Oregon

17. TCU

18. Houston

19. Kansas

20. Michigan

Judgment Day Arrives: Tennessee vs. Florida

2009-09-18T10:09:00.004-04:00

The very first ("real") post of the R and R Review detailed Lane Kiffin's arrival at the University of Tennessee. We learned quickly in the SEC that Lane has a big mouth and it appears, as of last weekend, Lannie Boy can't back it up. Judgment day is finally here. Saturday is the big matchup between the most hated team in America outside of Gator Country and the team that everyone in the SEC loves to poke fun at.

Well, one of the R and R Review's contacts located this great little nugget. It's only fitting that Lane gets pissed on by drunk Gator fans in one of the dirtiest bars (but one of the best) in Gainesville...Balls. That's right, a bar called Balls where we used to get pissed when 2 dollar double bourbon doubled in price to 4 dollars on game day weekends. Don't even ask what type of bourbon was poured into those drinks...it didn't matter. The label said bourbon, they were doubles and were only 2 DOLLARS.

Now, I'm usually a very reserved Gator Fan (as reserved as they can be) and don't go around yelling at opposing fans saying we are going to beat your ass today, your sleep with your brother, etc. I'm always concerned if I say too much, I'm going to ruin it all for our team. But, this weekend, I'm making an exception. We have beaten Tennessee the last four times and unless we have an Ole Miss collapse tomorrow, it's gonna be five. The series is currently tied at 19 games a piece and the Gators are going to take the lead. Thank you Lane for heating up the rivalry again, even if the outcome will be the same tomorrow.

Go Gators.

Kanye West wins the Classi Award at MTV Awards

2009-09-14T10:59:00.007-04:00

So what's with these recent outbursts and interruptions during speeches? We had the "You Lie" from Representative Wilson interrupting President Obama's address to Congress last week, Serena Williams losing control at the U.S. Open and last night we saw Kanye West interrupt Taylor Swift's acceptance speech to basically say, "Yeah, you were good, but Beyonce was better." Have Americans lost their class??

This made me reflect back to when some friends and I decided (maybe during a bachelor party) that there are two kinds of "classy" people. You have true "classy" people, the old money types from Palm Beach, and you have "classi" people, the new money types from Boca Raton. Classi with an "i" was developed from stripper names, since they're never classy, but sometimes pretend to be on a pole and love (so I've been told) ending their names with an "i" (ex: Candi, Mysti) rather than standard "y".

An example for those still confused: Drinking French wine on a sail boat is classy. Drinking Boone's Farm on a bass boat is classi.

Obviously Kanye West didn't go up on stage to upset Swift. However, his drunken interruption was definitely in the "classi" category and reminded me of Steve Buscemi's character in the Wedding Singer. I sure hope more people start watching Mad Men to see how classy people should act. That's right, you need to dress well and use proper etiquette while getting drunk and cheating on your spouse. Kanye West certainly wins the Classi Award this week. Sorry Britney, I'm sure you'll reclaim it next week.

Vacation Destination Review: Hawaii Overview

2009-09-10T09:41:00.006-04:00

The R and R Review was generous enough to give me a modest stipend and let me travel all the way to Hawaii this year in our attempts to really expand our vacation coverage. It was tough leaving my villa in Italy to make the trip, but I managed. I thought to myself, maybe this trip will make us the next Frommer's? I’m pretty confident we are close…as soon as those credit markets unfreeze. Regardless, the R and R Review decided we needed a second Vacation Destination Review (see the Vacation Destination Review of Door County, Wisconsin). On this trip, I visited the islands of Oahu, Kauai and Maui. If this were one review of all three islands, I think the article would be a bit too long (it already is). So, instead I’m going to break it up over the next few days (who am I kidding, the next few weeks), but really focus on Kauai and Maui. Next month, we will have expanded coverage of Oahu and Hawai’i (the “Big Island”) when the other R makes his visit to the 50th state.

Getting There:

No way around it, you have a long flight ahead of you. There is something a little disappointing when you fly ten hours and are still in the United States. Two years ago I flew eight and a half hours and made it to London (yes, I’m trying to brag that I travel a lot). However, when you step off the plane and see the lush tropical mountains as a backdrop to Honolulu, you realize this is not your typical state. We booked our flight through Delta, and if you read this blog, you might think I’m some former lover of the CEO or scorned employee, since I often review and criticize the airline. My focus on this particular company isn’t because of lost love or a vendetta, but simply the fact they have a stronghold on the Atlanta market. So, of course, I flew Delta to Honolulu. Was it blissful? No.

I can’t criticize Delta too much, because their plane (the Atlanta to LA leg) was actually pretty nice. They had non-cloth seats (this way I can see the bugs or what’s been spilled) and had television sets with on-demand movies and satellite television at every seat. The roughly four and a half hour flight truly went by fast after watching a movie and some real time television shows. Then came disaster. Our connecting flight was a Northwest flight. Since Delta is in the middle of merging with this Minnesota airline, there were bound to be hiccups. Besides the fact that our entire itinerary was wrong (said we only had an hour and a half layover, but was actually scheduled for a four hour layover), the real pain was when we got on the plane. The seats were the dirty, rough cloth fabric and there were only small televisions every five or six rows. This is fine on a two hour flight…but a five and a half hour flight over the Pacific? I want choices. I want WiFi. I don’t want to be forced to watch the Soloist (which was horrible) and reruns of Two and a Half Men.

I thought it couldn’t get much worse, and then I was proved wrong on the return flight on a Northwest 747. They still had ashtrays at every seat and a one grainy projection screen for each set of 100 passengers. I kept seeing promos for Mad Men on the flight and thought maybe they were pushing the 1960’s theme a bit too far with this relic of a plane. So, until Delta completely overhauls the Northwest sky buses, avoid any flight bearing a Northwest mention to the islands. TRUST ME.

Things to Do:

Okay, if you can’t find something to do on Hawaii, then you need to just forward me all your vacation time. There’s cultural stops, movie sights, hiking, water sports, relaxing on one of the many luxurious beaches or if you are in Honolulu, anything that a midsized city normally provides (i.e. nightlife, museums, etc.). I was surprised with the size of Honolulu and to discover that nearly a million people live on Oahu, which is pretty much just Honolulu or suburbs of Honolulu. One of the things that can be luring about Hawaii, is it’s a tropical paradise intersecting with normal everyday American life. If you travel to Hawaii and spend your entire time at Waikiki Beach, you really wasted your money, because a flight to Miami Beach would have been a lot less. My point being, when you go to Hawaii its easy to just pick a mega resort on a crowded beach for a week and say “I went to Hawaii”. While it’s fine to do this, you are really short changing yourself of the beauty of the islands if you don’t rent a car and explore your island (or islands) that you are visiting.

Before embarking on the trip, I read other websites that said you really needed to dedicate a week to every island (and not to island hop). I went to three islands in eight days, so I ignored the stupid advice. Sure, it would be nice to dedicate a week to each island…even a month. But, we all can’t be those kids on Gossip Girl who don’t need to attend school or work and have barrels of money lying around in trust funds waiting to be spent. Plus, I don’t intend on using all my vacation days for the next seven years traveling to Hawaii. There are too many other exotic or unique locations that I want to visit before I die. So, yes you can visit more than an island in a week. Just manage your expectations and your itinerary and remember…it’s a vacation, not a checklist.

My recommendation: really decide what you want out of the trip. Beautiful resorts? Outdoor activity? Combination of both? I decided, since we have so many readers, to do a combination. So, I picked Kauai and Maui (with a 24 hour layover on Oahu). They couldn’t have been more different and I felt I got the best of both worlds of Hawaii. My only tip…do the active part of the vacation first, so you feel relaxed when you leave.

Where to Stay:

I will get into more detail when I review the individual islands. Remember, Hawaii is generally expensive. However, there are many different options. If you are taking your family or don’t want to spend a small fortune, you can find condos to rent at various price ranges. Some are much more luxurious than others. If you want that luxury resort, there are plenty of those too, but on some of the islands, the options are more limited. We stayed at a mega family resort, a combination condo/hotel resort and a luxury resort to get a taste of what Hawaii has to offer. We definitely had a favorite.

Where to Eat:

Meals out can be really expensive in Hawaii. First you have restaurants catering to the resort crowd. At these places, imagine one of the more expensive places to eat in your city and double the bill. That’s what you can expect to pay. Part of it is because food is just more expensive on an island, but Hawaii is geared to ripping of tourists and their wallets. There are some great dinning locations, but they’re often not at the resort and their bills are usually less. So, when looking for a place try to avoid eating at the ones located right in your hotel every night.

Next Hawaii Review: Kauai, the Na Pali Coast and Waimea Canyon.

Havana Sandwich Shop: CONFIRMED

2009-09-09T17:13:00.006-04:00

Last week I informed all three people that read this blog that Atlanta's Havana Cuban Sandwich Shop was coming back to Buford Highway. I'm happy to report that the photograph above is confirmation that it indeed is coming soon. We must thank the R and R Review's Cuban investigative reporter for this one. As you can see, this place is a new location, at the corner of Clairmont and Buford, and is just minutes from their old one. Stay tuned for details about their "grand re-opening".

Havana Sandwich Shop to Reopen

2009-09-04T11:13:00.004-04:00

The whispers have become louder that the Havana Sandwich Shop, which burned down (circumstances surrounding the Canton restaurant and the fire at the old location are strange at best, but I don't want to be sued) almost a year ago, is reopening very soon close to its old location. For those of you who frequented this Cuban sandwich shop, I'm sure you too hope that parades will fill the streets on the day it opens. Havana had great sandwiches and meals at very reasonable prices and when they left their old Buford location, it left a HUGE gap in Atlanta's Cuban cuisine.

I'm happy that a great establishment is coming back safely inside the perimeter. Hopefully, they've learned their "lesson" and will "prevent" their new digs from burning down. I really feel that their opening will be a small step forward in opening normal relations with the real Cuba. Just a feeling.

Old Havana Sandwich Shop Spork Rating:

R and R Review beats TMZ: Regis sighting in Hawaii

2009-08-31T13:31:00.004-04:00

If you all were following my twitter posts, you would know that the R and R Review enjoyed a nice dinner with (next to) Regis Philbin, his wife Joy and two other unidentified couples at Ferraro's Bar e Restorante located at the Four Season's Resort in Maui. My post was last week while only today has TMZ reported his sighting.

I would have done an in depth interview with Regis and discussed his latest stint with Who Wants to be a Millionaire, but I was on official business for the R and R, reviewing the resort, Ferraro's, and preparing an in depth travel guide to Hawaii...so I couldn't be bothered with celebrity interviews while I was in the "zone".

This is how the encounter went, play by play:

BA Roof and wife sat down for dinner.

BA Roof commented on how prices at the restaurant were double those of the finest restaurants in Atlanta.

BA Roof discovered that prawns were nothing more than shrimp (or aliens in South Africa, see District 9) with different gills and an attempt by restaurants to increase dinner prices.

BA Roof looked over at the table next to him and saw a man that looked similar to Regis Philbin, only smaller.

BA Roof made a comment to wife (queen of celebrity gossip) that the man looked like Regis. Wife responded that it was Regis.

BA Roof heard the man speak and officially confirmed the sighting (Note: Regis is just as sarcastic in "real life" as he is on his television shows).

BA Roof wanted to do an immediate blog and take pictures, share a drink, tell him how much he is my hero, but wife told me not to embarrass her.

BA Roof slowly lingered around Regis' table while leaving dinner creating an awkward moment.

Maybe next time I'll have the nerve to ruin his dinner with pictures and stories like most fans. While, as a friend pointed out, I should have screamed "I love you REGIS and that's my FINAL ANSWER", I remained silent and let the man enjoy his vacation and dinner. This is why I'm no TMZ reporter.

Reviews of my Hawaii getaway will be coming throughout the week, so please check back often.

Remember Chappaquiddick

2009-08-26T12:48:00.004-04:00

Never forget Chappaquiddick. Never forget Mary Jo Kopechne.

Senator Edward Moore "Ted" Kennedy
(February 22, 1932 – August 25, 2009)

Just Say No to the Cumberland Mall Chick-fil-a

2009-08-21T13:35:00.010-04:00

So, I have a real beef (no pun intended) with the Chick-fil-a at the Cumberland Mall in Atlanta. If you are from Atlanta, you might be asking me what the heck am I doing at the Cumberland Mall, when there are so many other great shopping destinations? Well there is a real Chick-fil-a dilemma in the area where I work. See, the stand alone Chick-fil-a down the street from me is a drive-up establishment only. Yeah, I thought these things died away in the 1980s, too, but there's still one hanging on by a thread on the Cobb County/Fulton County line.

When I discovered this, I was very depressed, because I like to get OUT of my office for lunch and not bring it back to stink the place up. And, who doesn't like Chick-fil-a once a week for lunch? I guess chickens. But, while getting some fresh air might be nice in October or April in Atlanta...most of the time it's too hot, too cold or raining. This brings me to the Chick-fil-a in the Cumberland Mall. The mall is also right next to where I work and they have a Chick-fil-a in the food court. I thought I hit the jackpot. Maybe pick up some Chick-fil-a and browse some stores on my lunch break. Well, I could go on and on about my mall ratings, but let's just say Cumberland Mall is the ugly red-headed step sister of the Lenox and Phipps Malls in Buckhead. I mean really ugly.

So, that just leaves me to enjoy the Chick-fil-a in the food court, which is fine, or so I thought. Obviously, the owner of this franchise believes we are either in Cold War Russia or 1930s United States because we have a major rationing problem. I am addicted to ketchup. It's my catnip. Fries are just a vehicle to get that lovely red sauce into my mouth. Needless to say, I love eating lots and lots of ketchup with my waffle fries, since there's a lot of fry to be doused. Well the first time I ordered there, they asked me what condiments I wanted. I said honey mustard confidently, knowing that all Chick-fil-a's have a separate area with gobs of ketchup packets. I was sadly mistaken.

I walked away from the counter like an Alzheimer's patient lost in the bustling mall. I didn't know who had moved my ketchup. I stood there with my white bag filled with everything but ketchup. People walked around me and gave me dirty looks, but I didn't know what to do. Finally, it hit me that this Chick-fil-a didn't give its customers free reign over the ketchup packets. Maybe because of ketchup hoarders or addicts like me. Realizing this horrible fact, I walked back up to the counter and politely asked the ketchup deniers for some ketchup. What did they give me? Two packets. Two f-ing packets (trying to keep it clean for the kids)? Are you kidding me? Are these collector items? That's not enough to wet one of those jumbo waffle fries you sometimes get and think you've hit the lottery.

Well, I was ashamed and embarrassed, but somehow gathered the courage to ask for more. They of course looked at me like some kind of monster. Like I was taking a precious scarce resource from puppies and pandas. After disgusted looks, they gave me four more packets. For me, and my addiction, this was going to be rough, but I figured it was better than nothing at all.

Obviously, I'm a glutton for punishment, because I keep going back to this same Chick-fil-a, since it's so close. Thinking I had figured out the system, whenever they asked me for condiments, I proudly would announce that I'd like honey mustard AND EXTRA ketchup. Yes! Extra biatches! Dump that stuff in there!! Well at first it did work. But then, Joe Stalin in the back must have caught on to my game and held an informational briefing to all employees, because the last couple of times, my extra ketchup has gotten me only 4 packets. This is extra? I try to yell louder, thinking they don't hear me, but no...they do. So, acting like a fat kid being denied his chocolate, I demand more ketchup, which I have gotten.

Today, I've had enough though. Why you might ask? Because, now they flaunt my addiction. They might as well tease a lion with a nice sirloin steak. When I asked for my "extra" ketchup today, the nice little lady behind the counter pulled out five packets and with a smile asked, "Will five be extra enough?" Like surely no one would ever eat more than five packets in one sitting, as this is a drain on the national ketchup supply. I went back to my table, rationed my ketchup, ate my stale sandwich that was missing lettuce, although I explained 4 times NO tomatoes and pickles, YES to lettuce. Then, when I went to get a refill on my drink, they marked it. Yes, they actually count how many refills you get as well. Like I'm going to come back tomorrow and ask for another refill for free. I know the economy is bad, but cut me some slack.

So, I'm obviously a marked man by this Chick-fil-a, so the only thing I can do now is drive 15 minutes away to a dine-in Chick-fil-a with plenty of ketchup just waiting for me. As for the Chick-fil-a in the Cumberland Mall??? NO SPORKS!!!

"Is this enough EXTRA ketchup, Mr. Roof?"

Top Ten Comedies of All Time

2009-08-13T10:53:00.005-04:00

Here at the R and R Review, we got into a little debate over the best movie comedies ever made. Well, after watching miles of film and eating plenty of Taco Bell, we finally settled on our lists. We looked at various attributes in making our determinations, such as how they have stacked up in pop culture, raw comedy and originality of the comedy at the time they were made. After reviewing the criteria and only movies that we've actually watched uninterrupted all the way through, these are our lists:

Christopher J. Robinson's Top Ten Comedies of All Time

10. Uncle Buck

9. Wet Hot American Summer

8. Happy Gilmore

7. Fast Times at Ridgemont High

6. What About Bob?

5. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

4. Tommy Boy

3. Rushmore

2. The Naked Gun

1. Caddyshack

Ten Honorable Mention Movies (no particular order)

Planes, Trains and Automobiles

Christmas Vacation

Mallrats

Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure

Road Trip

Being There

Big Lebowski

Anchorman

There’s Something About Mary

Meet the Parents

BA Roof's Top Ten Comedies of All Time

10. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

9. Airplane!

8. What About Bob?

7. Christmas Vacation

6. Rushmore

5. Waiting For Guffman

4. Animal House

3. Caddyshack

2. There's Something About Mary

1. The Naked Gun

Ten Honorable Mention Movies (no particular order)

Planes, Trains and Automobiles

Vacation

Ghostbusters

Meet the Parents

Blazing Saddles

Uncle Buck

Tommy Boy

The Goonies

Old School

Wedding Crashers

ALERT: Southwest Coming to Atlanta?

2009-08-11T10:50:00.006-04:00

News is swirling fast around all corners of Atlanta...Southwest Airlines may finally be arriving. Southwest is currently bidding on Frontier Airlines for more than $170 million. Frontier currently flies three trips daily to Atlanta from Denver and Southwest has said it will maintain all of Frontiers' current existing markets. Southwest often enters into a market on a very small scale before expanding routes. This news is the equivalent to Thomas Edison inventing the light bulb or the fall of the Berlin Wall and end of the Soviet Empire. We have calls into the Mayor's office to see if there will be a ticker-tape parade down Peachtree on a Southwest Boeing 737 jet. Stay tuned.

John Hughes has Died

2009-08-06T17:26:00.002-04:00

The R and R Review is sad to report that John Hughes, who directed, wrote and/or produced Planes Trains and Automobiles, Home Alone, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, The Breakfast Club, National Lampoon's Vacation and many more, has passed away today at the age of 59.

Sizzle Chest

2009-08-05T15:37:00.005-04:00

Photographs were publised yesterday of Russian Prime Minister Vladimir "Sizzle Chest" Putin on vacation in the Siberian region of Tuva. As noted by TimesOnline, the photos "will inevitably trigger mass swooning by women all over Russia — as well as unfavourable comparisons of their husbands to Mr Putin’s manly physique. They will also confirm the Russian Prime Minister’s status as a gay icon."

Enjoy.

Vladimir Putin gets 4 Sporks for unintentional comedy. It would have been a 5 Spork effort if we'd seen some skin below the belt. Sigh. Check out the entire gallery here.

M. Ward at 40 Watt in Athens

2009-07-29T13:52:00.006-04:00

On Monday evening, BA Roof, Trip Reed, and I drove over to Athens to see the beloved M. Ward. I saw him at Pitchfork last July and then with She & Him in ATL a few weeks later, but at Pitchfork he only played a festival set (20-30 minutes) and with She & Him, the spotlight was on Zooey. Needless to say, I was pretty pumped for a full M. Ward headlining performance.

Check out Trip's concert review here. He beat the R&R to the punch, but we agree wholeheartedly with his thoughts and retrospection.

In a sad and upsetting side note (because I was completely unaware until just now), I read this little tidbit in the comment section of the blog where Trip found the set list:

"zooey deschanel was there, in the audience. a lot of folks saw her, and m. stipe was there too!"

Well I just want to die.

Movie Review: 500 Days of Summer

2009-07-29T10:08:00.005-04:00

Every once in a while a movie comes along that isn’t Academy Award caliber, or have freakish special effects, but is truly enjoyable due to a fresh story and solid acting. 500 Days of Summer is that movie for me in 2009. If you have at least one romantic bone in your body, or can somehow empathize with people who do, you will enjoy 500 Days with its fresh take on the relationship. I believe most people fall into two categories, not man and woman as the film illustrates, but either wildly romantic or know someone who is one. You know the person I’m talking about, the guy or girl who has told you at least a half dozen times they’ve met “the one” to which you roll your eyes. When you ask, as you have five previous times, how they really know, they proceed to rattle off a list of bizarre similarities pointing to their destiny. That is Tom Hansen (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) in 500 Days when he finds his “soul mate” Summer Finn (Zooey Deschanel).

500 Days is told by bouncing back and forth through the non-sequential days of Tom and Summer’s relationship highs and lows. The audience is duly warned at the onset of the movie that this is not a love story, and while you are given this explicit warning, something about the two characters and the story make you conveniently forget that caveat and hope they figure things out when so many have failed before them. It’s akin to watching Titanic and hoping that somehow, this time, that damned guy in the crow's nest is going to pay attention and see the mountain of an iceberg before it was too late, even though that fateful night was written nearly 100 years ago. Tom and Summer’s fate has been written as well, which was the whole premise of the movie. Is finding true love your destiny or happenstance?

Gordon-Levitt (who is twenty-eight) does the best acting job in the movie and maybe of his surprisingly long career, as he is the guy the audience must empathize with for the film to work. In some points in the movie, I truly believed he loved Summer. While Deschanel does a fine job playing the girl next door, coy with her own feelings, it’s up to Gordon-Levitt to sell the movie, which he does quite remarkably. 500 Days, as one of my friends pointed out, isn’t without its flaws. The writers have speckled clichés throughout (i.e. pouring rain during a fight…come on it doesn’t rain in LA, a mental breakdown speech at a company meeting and some other things that would spoil the plot) that at first pass may be overlooked, but nonetheless exist and detract from an otherwise “real” feeling movie. Other than those few nagging instances, I was deeply invested in the story and hung on to every scene desperate to know what was Tom and Summer’s fate (although, deep down, I already knew).

After walking away from the movie, I reflected back to when I used to walk away from law school exams. After each exam my fellow classmates and I would say whether it sucked or was “fair”, meaning the test was a hard pill to swallow, but it didn’t come out of the professor’s sick demented imagination. It was real. The message driven home in 500 Days can be simply summed up as fair and real. And, while some of the hopeless romantics might walk away distraught, most people, even though there’s bound to be some disappointment, will walk away thinking that what happened to Tom and Summer was indeed a realistically fair outcome. After all, all is fair in love and war. I give 500 Days of Summer a Spork Rating of:

Rated PG-13, 1hr 35min, Open Everywhere

Our First Beef: EW’s Owen Gleiberman

2009-07-24T15:51:00.004-04:00

Since its inception back in 2002, the R&R has been looking to start a serious beef with a legitimate film critic. Sure, we’ve had our spats over the years with small-time naysayers like Justin Luna (who? exactly), but we’ve been looking for a beef along the lines of Bill O’Reilly vs. Keith Olbermann, Tupac vs. Biggie, Barry Bonds vs. America, or Kelly Clarkson vs. vegetables.

With that being said, the R&R Review is calling out Entertainment Weekly’s Owen Gleiberman. I have to premise this with the fact that Bruno has been able to hang on to its 69% Fresh Rating on Rottentomatoes.com since opening night. While a 69% looks solid on RT, if I had brought home a 69% on a differential equations exam in the sixth grade, I would have been excluded from the family vacation to the Baltics that year. Needless to say, that’s a pretty severe punishment. Anyway, given our review of Bruno a couple of weeks ago, I was shocked to see that Owen Gleiberman gave Bruno an A- in his review for EW. An A-? Really, Owen? The fact that Owen loved the movie doesn’t bother me. That’s fine; lots of people loved Bruno (69% on RT). But the way that you paint your dissenters as “homophobic” is a bit suspect.

Take this little gem: “The more uncomfortable Bruno makes people, the more he draws attention to their petty churlishness and homophobia.” So if I’m uncomfortable with Bruno shoving champagne bottles up his ass and flopping his dong around on screen for a solid 30 seconds that means I’m a homophobe? Owen then proceeds to attack Ron Paul for his reaction to being ambushed by Bruno in a hotel room. “You can forgive a visibly shaken Paul for thinking Bruno is nuts — though that's hardly an excuse for calling him '’queer.”” Um, what? Hardly an excuse? A man trying to seduce another man by locking him in a hotel room, lighting candles, stripping, and trying to make a sex tape with him isn’t queer? That’s the very definition of queer! That pretty much nails BOTH definitions of queer. I’d really hate to see what it is that actually makes Owen Gleiberman uncomfortable. It seems as though anything short of child pornography or a snuff film and this guy is not only cool with it, but totally comfortable watching it in a crowded theatre. But if I get squeamish watching butt bleaching or a talking pee-hole that is just Sacha Baron Cohen holding up a fun-house mirror to my “frat-house intolerances?”

Not that I’m a member of it, but Owen Gleiberman’s review seems like a slap in the face to the gay community. If anything, his review tries to be too politically correct. It’s as if Gleiberman was afraid that he would be branded a homophobe if he didn’t like Bruno and point out that squirming in your seat and turning away at certain scenes is magnifying your own homophobia. What makes viewers uncomfortable isn’t the fact that Bruno is gay or that he is flamboyant, but that we had to suffer through what is essentially 90 minutes of extreme pornography billed as a comedy. EW’s Owen Gleiberman gets ZERO Sporks.

FYI, he gave Epic Movie a “Fresh” rating on Rottentomatoes.com. He was the only critic to do so.

Vacation Destination Review: Door County, Wisconsin

2009-07-15T09:36:00.010-04:00

Note: This is the first R and R Review Vacation Spot review, so hang in there . These reviews will be a bit longer, since we review everything about the vacation spot.

Door County, Wisconsin is considered the Cape Cod of the Midwest. I wouldn’t know because I’ve never been to Cape Cod, preferring to spend my summer time in Martha’s Vineyard or the Hamptons. Before going on this Fourth of July outing, I had never heard of Door County let alone stepped foot into Wisconsin, so the land was as foreign to me as Bangkok or Moscow. I was still excited to spend my July Fourth weekend here, although we had a five hour journey up and back to the peninsula county that separates Green Bay from Lake Michigan and it didn't disappoint.

We had heard horror stories of the drive up to Door County from Chicago, so even though we were up late enjoying spirits and sushi in the city the night before, we woke up early, grabbed a bite to eat and were on the road before 9am. Either the stories were false, or because we left early we beat the traffic. One of those things we will never know for sure, but traffic was light. Soon after we crossed the Wisconsin line, we saw the Mars Cheese Factory calling out to us to make a pit stop to grab some much needed supplies for the weekend. We had been informed that this place contained some real deal cheese…it didn’t disappoint. Grabbing about 6lbs of cheese (enough to really block your bowels for a week or so), the “World’s Best Wine” (claim was unsubstantiated) and a few six packs of Wisconsin beer (some Spotted Cow, try it out if you ever get the chance), we were again off to the promised lands.

Wisconsin is littered with picturesque farms containing those Rockwellian red barns and black and white cows. A real eyesore if you like dirty cities. I couldn’t have conjured up a better nostalgic image in my own mind. Door County itself captures much of the peninsula, but the truly special parts of the county are on the northwestern half past Sturgeon Bay. Throughout our trip we spent time in Sturgeon Bay, Egg Harbor, Fish Creek, Sister Bay and drove through the small community of Ephraim. We also drove up along the east coast of the peninsula, but the west had more to do and was a bit more charming. The town of Fish Creek, which is where we stayed, was by far my favorite community in Door County. It appeared larger than Egg Harbor and Ephraim, yet had a lot more charm than Sister Bay (a tourist trap) and Sturgeon Bay (a glorified shipyard). The weather couldn’t have been more perfect for the trip, with highs in the upper 70s and lows in the very cool for-someone-who-lives-in-Atlanta-during-the-summer 50s. I can see why people only come here in the summers, however, as I can’t imagine the brutal winters.

Things To Do:

We went during the Fourth of July weekend, and I recommend everyone to take part of this event in Door County at least once in your life. You cannot get a better sense of small town American than you do in Door County, Wisconsin on the Fourth of July. If you do come on the Fourth, make sure you go to Egg Harbor to watch the fireworks on July 3rd (or whenever they plan it in future years) and grab a seat early on the hill. You can watch the sun set over the small harbor and Green Bay (the body of water, not the town), while drinking beer and wine. I know the people there are eagerly awaiting my return so I can serenade them again with all the American songs we learned in elementary school. So I had a few beers to drink, layoff. The next night, go watch the fireworks in Fish Creek. These fireworks are longer and more spectacular and you get a small lighted boat parade before they shoot off. Make sure to spend some time, even if it’s just a morning, exploring Peninsula State Park, near Fish Creek, which had great biking and running trails. We came across various types of birds, a snake and even a lone deer on our five mile jog (there was some limited walking). Rent a boat for an afternoon to explore some of the Door County coastline. You can see a lot by car, but much of the beauty you can’t experience unless you are on the water. I also recommend loading up on a lot of beer and playing “I’m On A Boat” over and over again. We rented our beast of a boat (pontoon) in Sturgeon Bay, which gives you some nice lighthouse viewing, but I recommend renting further up along the peninsula if you can, to get further away from the industrial surroundings. Also, only rent a pontoon boat if the lake/bay is calm. We hit a rather large swell from I swear a cruise ship (it had to be at least 25 feet long, that’s big right?) leaving Sturgeon Bay and while I was able to rescue her among the screams and cries for help…an I-pod fell victim to the angry sea that day. While I didn’t care for the food itself, you probably need to experience a Fish Boil. It is truly a tacky tourist thing to do, and honestly I will never eat at one again since the food is marginal at best…but if you go to Door County and don’t “experience” one, you could be seen as a real phony. Additionally, there are plenty of places in Door County to rent bikes, shops to browse and stores that sell fudge and ice cream and plenty of farms to take oodles of pictures.

Where To Stay:

Definitely Stay in Ephraim or Fish Creek, because of their quaintness and prime location between Egg Harbor and Sister Bay. I recommend Fish Creek because it has more restaurants, shops and is not a dry town. There are even some nice places overlooking the harbor. Unfortunately, Ephraim is as dry as the Mojave, but one of the most charming towns, as it sits right on the water. Of course you can bring your own alcohol in…just can’t enjoy a nice bottle of vino at dinner. There are plenty of inns, hotels, timeshares, and bed and breakfasts to choose from in any of the towns. We stayed in the Hilltop Inn, which gets a rating of 3 Sporks, but there was nothing charming about the place…just a comfortable place in a great location at a great price.

Where To Eat:

Gibraltar Grill in Fish Creek was by far my favorite eating spot and not necessarily because of the food (although what we had was good), but for the location and feel of the joint. Grab a spot next to the outdoor fireplace on a cool summer’s night (which we did) and listen to some local musicians play. This is a great place to spend an entire evening, starting with a relaxed dinner (don’t expect fine dining) and finishing it off with a couple (a few, who am I kidding) glasses of wine. Note that prices aren’t super cheap, but there aren’t many places in Door County with cheap prices. Pelletier’s Restaurant in Fish Creek had a decent Fish Boil, as good as a fish boil can be, I guess. Make sure to book reservations in advance and get there on time to see the boiling over. Wild Tomato in Fish Creek was another favorite and is a great lunch spot consisting of fresh burgers, salads and pizzas. Plenty of outdoor seating and there is more parking in the back. The Summer Kitchen between Ephraim and Sister Bay (but considered Ephraim), had delicious sandwiches and salads, which included a cup from the soup bar, making it another great lunch spot. The outdoor seating is better than the inside. Finally, you have to see the goats on top of the roof (they are for real, yo) for breakfast at Al Johnson’s in Sister Bay. Enjoy authentic Swedish pancakes and other Swedish food. Be prepared, though, as this place is a tourist trap and has long waits. While it is an experience, the food isn’t all that spectacular. Also, leave Brian Fellow at home, as he will not like the goats staring at him from the roof.

All in all the Door County experience was great. It is an awesome place to have a romantic weekend or a great family getaway. This trip is not recommended for singles, as you will have very few party locations.

Door County Wisconsin gets a Spork Rating of:

The Bruno Screening: A 3 Pitch Strike Out

2009-07-08T14:37:00.007-04:00

As I am sure that many of you have noticed, the R&R has been on a sort of summer sabbatical. June and July are two of our favorite twelve months to travel and we have been dividing our time between the R&R writing camp in the Adirondacks and our summer home in the South of France. We even mixed in a bit of island-hopping in the Greek Isles with some of our Hollywood friends and a slew of swimsuit models.

After receiving our first screening pass in weeks, we decided to get back on the horse and cowboy up. Last nights screening of Bruno was something that we here at the R&R had been anxiously awaiting since we first caught wind of the event. With our bellies full of CPK and Sam Adams, we arrived at the theatre and jumped in line like good little Russians waiting for our cheese ration. Once we made our way to the theatre door single file, we were told by the warden, err usher, that they were confiscating all cell phones. With sly, shit-eating grins on our faces, we slid by the cell phone check point only to turn the corner and run head first into a security officer wanding down each movie-goer as if they were admitting immigrants into a refugee camp. We had no choice but to turn around and check our cell phones. The rationale behind this was beyond us. Strike one.

Entering the theatre, we were shocked to find 90% of the mid and upper section roped off with “reserved” signs. Reserved for whom? Certainly not for us, the goddamn critics. The remaining seats in the prime section were obviously filled first, so we had no choice but to retreat to the lower level. Luckily, the theatre hadn’t completely filled up and we were able to sit far enough back to avoid the inevitable neck cramping that comes with sitting in the first few rows. Once the theatre doors were closed, the usual pre-screening shenanigans began. Some representatives from Creative Loafing and 99X quizzed the crowd and gave out free t-shirts and movie posters. It is absolutely amazing what some people will do for free crap. It’s as if they were giving away free iPods or economic stimulus checks instead of double-XL Sacha Baron Cohen t-shirts. The real shocker came when a guy from 99X uttered this little gem: “We all know that gay people do a lot of screwing, so start naming some other things that screw!!!” As if all gay people are sex addicts or deviants. Wow. Talk about a law suit waiting to happen. Strike 2. Bruno was about to begin, and the R&R was hoping that Mr. Cohen would help us laugh our way into emptying our short-term memories.

The main character in Bruno is of course the flamboyantly gay Austrian fashionista Bruno (Cohen) who is the “it” when it comes to fashion in German speaking countries that aren’t Germany. Unfortunately for Bruno, he has an unfortunate incident with his Velcro suit at a runway show and is pretty much banished from the fashion world. This starts his odyssey to America in attempts to once again become famous, which includes adopting an “African American” baby from Africa like Angelina and Madonna, trying to bring peace to the Middle East, pitching a talk show to CBS and attempting to become straight. If the jokes and scenes seem oddly familiar, it’s because many follow the same general path as Borat: Cultural Learnings of America Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. We had no problem with the whole premise of the movie, or the fact that Bruno was gay or the star. We both expected this movie to be just as funny if not funnier than Borat. Plus, we knew it would be edgy. But, instead of a hilarious gay fish out of water movie we got rehashed Borat jokes sprinkled throughout a gay porno. We love crude and obscene jokes as much as the next guy, however, when the movie’s objective is not to be funny but to be extremely outrageous (think zoomed-in shot of Cohen’s penis flopping up and down and then after 30 seconds the pee hole saying “Bruno”)…it just becomes an excruciating bore.

The best all-around scene was when Bruno got a gig as an extra on Medium, but other than that, almost all of the funniest parts were seen in the previews hyping it. Most of the flick consisted of penises, dildos, homophobes and an uninspiring plot lacking much humor. The plot, by the way, is eerily similar to Borat. Strike 3. How did a 75 minute movie seem longer than Titanic? We can’t help but think this movie is going to make few laugh and many uncomfortable. We give Bruno a Spork Rating of:

Christopher J. Robinson & BA Roof

Opens Friday, July 10, 2009 Nationwide

Tomorrow Review: Bruno

2009-07-07T10:06:00.003-04:00

Check back tomorrow afternoon for our review of Bruno, which opens this Friday.

ALERT: Michael Jackson Dead

2009-06-25T18:07:00.004-04:00

It seems Michael Jackson died today.

The Redcoats are Coming!!!

2009-06-25T13:02:00.004-04:00

No, I’m not Paul Revere and our crooked teeth friends across the Atlantic are posing us no threat. I did however learn that Delta has re-implemented their “Red Coats” customer service agents and will be expanding their reach throughout the summer. Who are these Red Coat donned people? They are the ones who are supposed to be “in the know” and able to fix whatever problem you have with the Delta. They must be God. Everyone knows the airlines have so many problems with their customer service, business model, etc, that I doubt any mortal will be able to fix their problems, red coats or not.

While this is a gesture that shouldn’t go unnoticed (or the fact the Delta often ranks very low on customer surveys), but can it really fix the problem? While I’m a relatively young guy, I do remember the days when flying was an experience. I remember one of the first flights I took as a child…putting on my dress shirt, clip on tie, dress pants and my penny loafers…pennies and all. Back then, you dressed up to get on a plane. People could say goodbye and hello to you at the gate. People who flew looked at it like a luxury…because it was more of a luxury. You were pampered on those flights. You even got meals (I can’t remember if they tasted like rubber or not, but we got them).

Now the whole flying experience is full of pain, stress and there is hardly any pleasure except landing safely. From the TSA security lines, to the overbooking of too few flights, flying anywhere makes you think twice. On top of it all, we are getting charged for every aspect of the flight: pillows, soda, snack, luggage…soon bathrooms! We have to use our own computers, electricity and internet service to book the flight. If we call for help…tack on $35 dollars to the ticket. The carriers say they do it so they can survive, plus we are getting “used” to such items. Right now I can only blame us…the customer. We scour the internet for hours upon hours, days upon days to find the cheapest ticket. The airlines figured out…you want a cheap ticket…okay, but nothing else is included. I’m waiting for the day when I get charged extra to sit down, rather than stand and to have a veteran pilot, rather than a newbie.

If Delta or any of the other airlines actually want to help passengers and have them enjoy flying again, they are going to have to spend a little money. They need to really make the flying experience an experience again. While people like a good deal, I think most customers also will pay a little more for a good product. I don’t fly Spirit anymore because it was no better than flying on a greyhound bus. How come a company like Apple can sell so many computers that are MORE expensive than a PC? Because it works a hell of a lot better! If an airline decided to improve the entire experience, I guarantee you that customers would be willing to pay an extra 20 bucks a ticket, or even put up with the baggage fees. Instead of spending all that money on Red Coats, here are some of my dream suggestions:

1. More kiosks. Since most customer service agents are jerks anyways, how about have more electronic kiosks around to help passengers rebook cancelled flights (with NO fees) and give out food and hotel vouchers, etc. If an airline knows a flight has been canceled and does this stuff anyways, why make people wait in a line 100 people deep? Technology is so much more effective at figuring out the next best flight.

2. Nicer Agents. Of course, agents will still be needed because technology isn’t without flaws. Make sure the agents you have employed are NICE. Bad attitude is a one way ticket to the unemployment line.

3. Televisions at every seat. Yes, this is pricey, but I would pay 5 bucks (more on longer flights) each flight to have my own tv with actual television and on-demand shows.

4. Give people a nice warm towel. This may seem a bit over the top or silly, but can you imagine after getting into your seat, your flight attendant comes by with a nice hot hand towel. RELAXING.

5. Keep giving free non-alcoholic drinks, charge more for pricier food options that people will actually want to eat. Keep price points reasonable.

6. Figure out a way to make boarding more pleasant. Right now people want to rush on the plane not to get their already assigned seat…but to get carry on bag space. Go back to having the first bag checked free…and figure out how not to lose so many bags to the bag eating monster the lives under every airport.

While a nice gesture, Delta’s Red Coats doesn’t go anywhere close to solving the problem of customer service. The idea gets a Spork Rating of:

Quick Review: The Hangover

2009-06-15T08:27:00.011-04:00

Since the Hangover has been out for a couple weekends already, I figured I wouldn’t do a full blown review, but let everyone know what I thought. I finally saw this comedy on Friday night and am really glad I went. This story from the director of Old School was fresh and original, while the overall concept (buddies having a bachelor party in Vegas) was nothing new. I was a little worried this flick would be too familiar, but it didn’t disappoint. What made the story unique was that you never had any clue what actually happened during Doug Billings’ (Justin Bartha) bachelor party in Vegas. While you see the foursome, Doug, Phil (Bradley Cooper), Stu (Ed Helms) and Alan (Zach Galifianakis) embark on their night of fun in Vegas after taking a spiced up shot and a minor slice to Alan’s hand with a pocket knife (although in the end no one wanted to be blood brothers with him), the next thing we see is Phil, Stu, Alan and a Mike Tyson's tiger waking up in their Caesar’s Palace villa without the groom-to-be Doug. This begins the wild re-tracing of the previous night’s events in order to find out what happened to Doug before his wedding on the next day. While the story had a few dull moments in the middle, for the most part it was hilarious, especially the interplay between Phil, Stu and the mildly insane and slow Alan. In fact, I feel it was the Alan character that probably brought the most humor to the movie and tied everything together.

It was also nice at the end of the movie getting a brief taste of what actually happened that night, but while still leaving plenty to the imagination. I think most people can relate to a movie like this, because many of us have had bachelor parties, been to a friend’s bachelor party or just had way too much to drink the night before. I give this movie a Spork Rating of:

Christopher J. Robinson's Quickie Review:

Zach Galifianakis stole the movie (or was that the point?). I felt like Bradley Cooper's character was slightly contrived and felt forced. Ed Helms was great and carried the plot, while Zach G. carried the humor. Some of the role players were obnoxious (i.e. the Asian guy). I knew right away where Doug was. The tiger in the car scene was eerily similar to the deer in the car scene from Tommy Boy. I enjoyed the Mike Tyson element. I felt like the movie was dragging about 2/3rds of the way though, but ended strong. My favorite scene was the rooftop scene in the beginning. Overall, it was very funny and there were a few times when I thought BA Roof was going into one of his fits. Question: don't roofies put you out like a light rather quickly so that you can be taken advantage of? I wasn't aware that roofies give you the wildest night ever with the only negative side effect being memory loss. Oh well, doesn't really matter I guess. The Hangover gets...

Rated R

Open Everywhere

Guest Review: Up

2009-06-02T15:45:00.013-04:00

The R & R Review has hired our friend and Disney Pixar fanatic Bill Tom Kriby to give our readers his take on the latest Pixar feature, Up. Here are his words...

I have a question for you - what movie studio has won 2/3rds of all academy awards that it has been nominated for (in its class)? Here’s a hint: their movies feature some of these well known actors - Tom Hanks, Paul Newman, Samuel L Jackson, and Jason Lee. If you guessed Pixar, you were right. When one of the R's asked me to be a guest movie reviewer for the website, I jumped at the opportunity, especially since the movie I was going to be seeing was Up in 3D. Being a self-proclaimed Pixar lover, I knew that Up had a lot to live "up" to (sorry), especially since the previous installation, Wall-E, was such an excellent production.

Up brings us the story of Carl Fredricksen (voice of Ed Asner) who longs to be an explorer and visit the wilderness in South America. As a young, shy boy, he meets a talkative, outgoing girl named Ellie who has the same dream. Carl and Ellie then start their lives together and vow to get to Paradise Falls in South America. Skip to almost 70 years later and Carl still has not made it to Paradise Falls. As Carl realizes that he may never get there, he decides to tie thousands of balloons to his house in order to reach his dream destination. As he is ascending in his house, he learns that he has a surprise guest on his porch. This stowaway is another explorer, albeit much, much younger. Russell is a Wilderness Explorer that is attempting to obtain his final badge, the Assisting the Elderly badge. The excursion that Carl and Russell then embark upon leads us to an event filled adventure with visually stimulating animation, funny dialogue, exciting scenes, and a satisfying (yet predictable) ending.

Entering the theater, I did not know anything about the movie as there has not been much publicizing the way other Pixar movies seem to be. The first few scenes really helped me connect with Carl - in a way that other movies would have trouble doing in such a short period of time. It is amazing how Pixar can make a movie that lures in the adults with good character development and adult story lines while still keeping the kids entertained with visuals and humor. Russell and Dug the dog provide all the laughs you would need, although there is an especially funny dream sequence that Carl has as the house is just lifting off. I could really see Carl changing from a crabby old man to a man letting go of his past and embracing the opportunity he has to change his attitude and open up his heart. This is by far the most mature themed movie made by Pixar. There are a couple moments when the other theater-goers (including me) were tearing up because of the emotions that we could relate to from our own lives. The way Pixar can provide entertainment for all ages will keep crowds coming back for more. This movie definitely does not disappoint and I would give Up an R&R rating of 4.5 sporks.

Let me finish by saying that the 3D experience was well worth the extra $3 dollar charge, especially since you get to keep the new, plastic-wrapped, manufacturer provided "sunglasses". These weren't like the flimsy paper glasses I was used to when I was growing up. I was apprehensive of the 3D at first, running all of the possible outcomes through my head. I thought I may be sprinting out of the theater to throw up due to the information overload my eyes and head were taking in, but it turns out that the effect was well done. 3D looks like the next step for Pixar as Toy Story 3 (due out in 2010) will be done in that format as well.

-Bill Tom Kriby hails from Sarasota, FL. His son, Will, is going to pop out any day now.

The New Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien

2009-06-02T09:10:00.006-04:00

Editor’s Note: Due to press time (or the fact that I feel asleep at around midnight), this review will only be discussing the opening monologue portion of the show.

So, last night was the FIRST night of the new Conan era at NBC’s The Tonight Show and I was happy with the results. Many critics, talk show hosts, pseudo-news reporters have been questioning whether Conan would dumb down (I mean, soften) his humor for the boring 11:30pm crowd. I’m not even sure what that means since most elderly people were fast asleep by 8pm and anyone with kids probably passed out around 10pm, but I guess the viewing numbers don’t lie. While the show wasn't Late Night, I think the new set and the opening bit proved that Conan fans have nothing to worry about. First shows are always going to be a little more subdued and vanilla, but I think enough of the old Late Night was retained to give us a glimpse of what future shows will hold once Conan gets more comfortable with the new show and some of the pressure is off.

The set design was vastly different from Jay Leno’s bright colorful set, as this one had evening colors and looked a lot more like Conan’s New York City show, yet bigger and a bit more polished. I read a comment posted regarding another Tonight Show story (I always get up by 4am and read all newspapers for stories I want to plagiarize) where the person said that Conan’s old sidekick, Andy Richter (who is back) now resembles the late Chris Farley. I have to say, that was a spot on observation and every shot of Andy kind of freaked me at the time, but I couldn’t understand why. Now, I know it was because my eyes thought they were seeing a ghost. Not sure why he looks or acts more like Farley now, but let’s hope that changes. It’s creepy. Right now, Andy is an awkward fit with the show's flow, but I'm sure in time it will evolve. I also kind of miss Conan’s old announcer Joel Godard and I’m wondering what the suits at NBC did with him.

Overall, the show had some very funny skits and showcased Conan’s oddball humor. Yes, it wasn't Late Night...but again, we couldn't expect Conan to be that way in the first week...probably not in the first few weeks. But, it wasn't Jay, which is great news. Unfortunately for Conan, there will probably be less viewers, because greedy Leno will siphon some off at the 10pm spot and let’s face it, people have more channels to watch and the networks will continue their large loss of viewers at all hours. Let’s just hope NBC doesn’t freak out, kill Conan in some bizarre Universal back lot accident, and rehire Jay when his 10pm show fails. NBC needs to know they made the right long-term move by keeping Conan. As his younger viewers age, they will stick with him and he will introduce more youth to NBC’s extremely long running show. While Jay was okay, Conan is much more original and better suited for the late night gig. I give the new Tonight Show a Spork Rating of:

The Tonight Show

NBC, 11:30pm, Monday - Friday

Racing to Save Lives

2009-05-29T11:38:00.005-04:00

Dear readers...

I'm training to participate in the Tugaloo Triathlon (Swim 1.5k, Bike 42k, Run 10k) as a member of The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's (LLS) Team In Training. All of us on Team In Training are raising funds to help stop leukemia, lymphoma, Hodgkin lymphoma and myeloma from taking more lives. I am completing this event in honor of all individuals who are battling blood cancers. These people are the real heroes on our team, and we need your support to cross the ultimate finish line - a cure!

Please make a donation to support my participation in Team In Training and help advance LLS's mission. Here is the link to my fundraising page:

http://pages.teamintraining.org/ga/tugtri09/crobinsbih

I hope you will visit my web site often. Be sure to check back frequently to see my progress. Thanks for your support!

Tugaloo Triathlon
Swim 1.5K - Bike 42K - Run 10K
September 12, 2009
Lavonia, GA
http://www.gamultisports.com/tugaloo.html

Poll: Best Suicidal Beard

2009-05-22T12:23:00.008-04:00

Suicidal/depression beards are pretty self-explanatory. We at the R & R Review are trying to decide which of the following depression related beards of the last ten years are the best. I'll give you, readers, five options plus "other." If you can think of a great suicidal beard that is not listed, plus leave a comment and we can discuss. Please cast your vote using the poll on the left side of the screen.

Without further ado, in no particular order:

1) Jack Shephard

2) Richie Tenenbaum

3) Joaquin Phoenix

4) Ron Burgundy

5) Noah Calhoun

Urgent TSA Alert: New Plan To Make Traveling Worse

2009-05-22T09:35:00.005-04:00

So, the TSA has announced new screening procedures for travelers. Like it's not hard enough to remember the hoops we must jump through to get on a plane. One jerk had to put some explosives in his shoe and now the rest of us have to suffer for eternity. TSA security checkpoints are worse than trying to get a bite to eat from the Soup Nazi.

Well, along with remembering to basically strip down, take out all our money, phones, and computers from our pockets and bags and having all our liquids separated in appropriate sized containers (don't you love walking on those dirty floors barefoot?), we must now learn how to properly place our belongings on the x-ray machine belt. That's right folks, we have to place our shoes directly on the belt now. It is unacceptable to place them in those very convenient bins that the TSA try to snatch from you immediately after it's gone through the screening, even though you are standing there naked trying desperately to grab your belongings. I expect plenty of screaming children, suicidal parents and overly stressed business travelers enjoying this little treat.

The last time I was at the Miami International Airport going through the screening, I was trying to grab my liquids, backpack, shoes, phone, belt, change and my laptop (that had to be in its own bin) when the government trained TSA x-ray belt operator decided to put that thing in HIGH gear and everyone's stuff began plowing into my things. Plastic was crunching. Shoes went flying. My laptop slipped off the belt and thank god I caught it. If you read my post yesterday, you know I was in code blue. What was TSA's response? Move faster. Well, if I wasn't standing there naked clutching all my worldly possessions...I would consider that bit of advice.

So, if any of you folks are traveling this Memorial Day weekend by plane...expect even longer lines as the TSA minions implement their new rules for our safety.

The Amazing Race: Changing Terminals at LAX

2009-05-21T14:27:00.005-04:00

My wife has been telling me for the past few weeks that we should apply to be on the next Amazing Race. I’m not sure if you have ever watched the show, but people who have some sort of relationship team up in pairs and go across the world in this race to win one million dollars. Along the way, the players on each team must work together on tasks to gain the next clue and to see where they are going. If you are the last team to get to the checkpoint for the clue, you are sent packing.

When my wife told me she wanted us to apply to be on the show, I figured she must be angling for a divorce. I asked her if she was unhappy with our marriage, or if I did something wrong to upset her. She said no, just that she thought it would be “good” for us and it would be “fun”. Now, I suffer from a disorder that has been labeled by my doctor, who is renowned for repairing horizontal butt crack birth defects on children, as “Travel Daze”. Basically on travel days, I come down with a condition that overtakes my body and brain, where I become irrational, irritable, feverish, stressed, flushed and paranoid that all my travel related activities are going to go terribly wrong. Packing a car? Pure stress. Overstuffed suitcases, two dogs (one 100 lbs), dog supplies, people supplies and my wife’s general lack of interest in planning for a trip. Flying on a plane? Do we take mass transportation, fight traffic, do we park at the airport lot or a satellite lot, what time do we leave, how much time in advance do we need to get there, did we check in, are all our liquids in appropriate bags, did I accidentally forget my gun stuffed in the back of my belt loop? Pure irritation and paranoia.

Basically, I told my wife, no way in hell are we ever going on The Amazing Race, because there are only three likely outcomes: 1. We will divorce, 2. I will die of a heart attack, or 3. America will think I’m the biggest jackass and send me death threats for outrageous meltdowns. Actually all three are probable.

So imagine my surprise when my wife and Delta must have colluded to change our connection time, for a secret trip we are taking that must connect at the Los Angeles International Airport, from 3 hours to 45 minutes. Do you know how hard it is to change planes located at different terminals at LAX? I didn’t, because I’ve never had a connecting flight there, but in order to switch terminals, you must exit security and the entire terminal building, take a bus or walk outside to the other terminal, and then go through security all over again. Websites recommend three hours to have plenty of time for this daunting task, especially if you are traveling with large suitcases, kids, are older or eat too much. We had 45 minutes. We are young, generally in good shape, no kids and we pack lighter than most…but 45 minutes? I dropped a few F bombs and started to break out in a cold sweat and hives as I scoured my itinerary and the websites regarding LAX’s terminals. I figured it was all going to be filmed for The Amazing Race or some hidden camera show. Could I change planes in 45 minutes without killing anyone or being tazed by the police? Impossible.

Lucky for me, my wife put me on oxygen, before I passed out and I called Delta to switch my connection times. They were very nice, fixed the problem (actually before I even said it, they knew the problem quickly fixed it) and we now have a little over two hours (still one hour short of the recommended time) to change planes. I’ve decided I’m still going to time it and possibly react as if we only had 45 minutes, just to see if we can do it. I’ll tell my wife it’s a test run to see if we could be on The Amazing Race. I know she will go for it. But, for the terminal design, I give LAX a Spork Rating of:

Come on a chimp could have designed a better airport. They still get One Spork, because planes can successfully land and take off from there. As for Delta handling the situation (but still remembering that they put me there in the first place) I give them a Spork Rating of:

Los Angeles International Airport

Built in 1929

Opened in 1930

Sixth busiest airport in the world

Continental Airlines and the George Bush Intercontinental Airport

2009-05-14T16:21:00.006-04:00

If someone were to ask me to name the first three images that come to mind when I hear the word “torture,” my responses would undoubtedly be George Bush, airports, and cotton balls. Last week, I was able to combine two of them into one frightening experience. En route to a weeks stay at the Broadmoor in Colorado Springs, my Continental Airlines flight to and from COS was broken up by a layover in Houston, TX at the George Bush Intercontinental Airport. I had never landed at this airport before and can’t remember the last time I flew Continental, so it had never occurred to me that Houston was the Continental hub.

When I flew into Houston last Monday, my arrival and departure gates were both in Terminal B, so my experience that day was relatively painless. As I deboarded the plane, I was thrust into a narrow hallway which connected my gate to the central pod of Terminal B. The hallway was eerily similar in size and construction to a single-wide trailer and went on for what seemed like miles. While Terminal B had a decent selection of eateries, its appearance can only be described as dirty. I picked up a copy of the Wall Street Journal and sat down at the bar of Chili’s Too while waiting for my connecting flight to begin boarding. All in all, it was a seamless transition.

The same can not be said for my Houston connection four days later. As before, my plane arrived at Terminal B, but this time my connecting flight was departing out of Terminal A. Having never been to this airport, I had no idea that Terminal A was in a completely different building. As I followed the signs pointing towards A, I navigated my way through a maze of single-wide trailers and down an escalator which dead ended into a sliding glass door leading out to the tarmac. Unsure of what to do next, I hesitantly approached the doors when all of a sudden I was grabbed by an airport employee and forced into a line off to the side. A hessian sack was then placed over my head and I was lead through the doors and onto a tram of some sort as we proceeded to drive for what seemed like a solid 5 to 7 minutes (although I may have been force-fed a sedative and blacked out). Once the tram stopped, I was pulled off the vehicle and the sack was removed from my head as I continued down another single-wide hallway. Luckily, my gate was just inside. I’m curious to know what exactly it was that the Houston Airport did not want me to see.

While the airport itself did not meet the standards that my life of privilege has caused me to grow accustomed to, the actual flights themselves were not awful. The flight attendants were very friendly, although one of them snickered at me when I asked her to fetch me some hot tea and point me towards my room. Much to my amazement, the flight to Colorado Springs included a complimentary ham sandwich, Fritos, and a small Kit Kat bar. This sort of thing is unheard for passengers sitting in coach, but I was a little shocked that they would offer ham in the midst of the Swine Flu epidemic. I saved one slice of the ham in case I needed to fend off any terrorists that may have been aboard my flight. A free meal nowadays is truly an expected joy, but it was bastardized by the fact that I had to pay $15 dollars each way to check a single piece of luggage.

It was recently announced that Continental Airlines will be leaving the SkyTeam Alliance sometime this fall. While the possibility of a free meal will be missed, at least I will be able to avoid George Bush Intercontinental Airport. This travel experience was a mixed bag and gets a Spork rating of…

The Car Rental Pirates

2009-05-13T08:36:00.005-04:00

When I was in college, I went on a fraternity “business” trip with a couple of fraternity brothers and we needed to rent a car. We knew we were going to get some hefty fees because none of us were 25 years old yet. I don’t blame them for not really wanting to rent to us. But, once we stepped up to the rental counter and we selected the cheapest car on the lot, they began talking insurance. Insurance? What 21 year old knows a lick about car insurance, let alone car RENTAL insurance? The agent started talking fast, then double talk, then Korean I think. Next thing I knew, we just rented the cheapest car produced in North America for about $95/day. Yes, we fell for it and bought the insurance. While we were supposed to have a safe feeling after purchasing all that coverage, we instead felt like a freshman girl with her senior date on prom night…totally taken advantage of.

This week when I was preparing for a trip where I need to rent a car, this horrific memory came rushing into my head. Scanning the prices of the rental cars on the internet, I selected the car class I wanted and nervously clicked to the next page…the page of horrors. Looking at all the extras, insurance, waivers, fees, surcharges, I was almost surprised some of the options weren’t: steering wheel, $9/day; tires, $4/day; doors, $7/day; $3/day surcharge for the privilege of renting the car (oh wait that one was on there). To give you an idea of what I was staring at, here were some of the options I encountered:

Greenhouse Gas Emissions, $1.25/Rental
Collision Damage Waiver, $22.99/day
National Protection Plus, $34.99
Carefree personal protection, $7.99
Supplemental Liability Insurance, $10.99
Customer Facility Charge (mandatory fee), $1.00/day
Concession Recovery Fee 8.11%
Rental Motor Vehicle Surcharge, $3/day
Vehicle Registration Fee/weight tax, $1.05

The extra add on that won the “absolutely outrageous award” was the National Protection Plus coverage at $34.99/day. Really? Insurance coverage for a car at 34.99/day? What the car rental companies don’t want you to do is grow a brain and actually calculate how much this insurance coverage would cost you over the year’s time, exactly how you pay for your own personal car insurance. Sit back and ponder what you pay for insurance for your own car for the entire year. Is it $12,771? Yeah, I didn’t think so, but that’s the cost of the car rental agency’s insurance premium calculated over the entire year. At that insurance rate, you could just buy a new car ever year and crash it at the end of 365 days.

So, did I really need rental insurance for the car? No. But, it is different for everyone, depending on your own coverage for your vehicle and the credit card you use to rent the car. Many personal car insurance plans will cover you in case of an accident with a rental and many credit cards will also cover car rental problems. Basically, if you take ten minutes to read your personal policy or call your agent, you will know whether you need to pay off these car rental pirates or call in the snipers.

In the end, I rented my car without paying for any these extras, except for the fees and surcharges they forced me to take at gunpoint. What about the global warming fee you may ask? No way was I paying for that thing. Why would I trust the car rental agency with my donation to save the world when they tried to sell me an insurance policy that cost 12,771/year?

To sum it up, car rental companies and all their extras get a Spork Rating of:

Buyer Beware!

Review: Star Trek

2009-05-07T09:12:00.009-04:00

I thought about writing this review in Klingon, but felt english was more appropriate for our readers. I must first disclose that I am not an “original” Star Trek fan. My review may be better or worse, depending on if you are a fan or not. I’ve seen maybe two or three of the original television series episodes and maybe two of the original Star Trek films. The Star Wars movies always captured my attention more, because of the bigger and better battles along with a great “epic” story. Star Trek had a general theme, but never that one big story, probably because it started out as a television series in the 1960s. I did come to enjoy watching Star Trek the Next Generation, but this newest installment of the Star Trek franchise pays all of its respect to the original series and makes no mention of the several others that followed.

Star Trek (2009) is directed by J.J. Abrams, a man who said he wanted to update or refresh the franchise. In this movie, there is most definitely a face lift and not the Joan Rivers kind. Star Trek has always had its strong cult following, but has never blown up the box office like other science fiction films, such as Star Wars or Spaceballs (just seeing who is paying attention). The highest grossing Star Trek was 1986’s Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home bringing in a little over $109,000,000.00. For comparisons, the lowest grossing of the Star Wars franchise was Star Wars Episode 5: The Empire Strikes Back at around $290,000,000.00. The most recent Star Trek film in 2002, Star Trek: Nemesis only made around $43,000,000.00. For those of you not in the biz…that’s a dud, especially for a science fiction big budget space movie. Something needed to be done to reboot this franchise. Someone needed to bring Star Trek to the masses, not just those silly geeks at the conventions. Enter J.J. Abrams.

This new movie is actually a prequel to all the others and involves some heavy doses of time travel. J.J. Abrams fans should have come to expect this, since we are trying to sort out what the heck is going on in Lost every week. But, we get to see a young Kirk (Chris Pine), Spock (Zachary Quinto), Dr. McCoy (Karl Urban), Scotty (Simon Pegg), Hikaru Sulu (John Cho) and Uhura (Zoe Saldana) in this movie and it feels at times like an old reunion, except you have gotten much older and your friends much more youthful. Since I never watched much of the older episodes and characters, I really can’t comment on how much they resembled their older counterparts, except that I think some had a good new take (Pegg, Pine) while others went a little over the top (Urban). The movie begins with Captain Kirk’s birth and his father’s death at the hands of pissed off and disgruntled Nero (Eric Bana). Fast forward to the present (which is really still the past in the story, yet the future from current day…confusing, I know) and you have a James T. Kirk who is beating up Star Fleet thugs in a bar when he is discovered by Captain Christopher Pike (Bruce Greenwood) and encouraged to join Star Fleet. From there on, the story begins and it’s ultimately up to this young Enterprise crew, especially Spock and Kirk, to get over their vast differences and save the Universe (I’m trying to avoid any big spoilers in the storyline).

Star Trek is most definitely an upgrade from the previous versions, and I think in a great way. There’s more in your face attitude, fighting and great special effects and graphics. J.J. Abrams has definitely taken a story from the 1960s and 1980s and transformed it into the type of movie audiences want to see today. Yet, at the same time the movie still pays its respects to its roots…if not a little too much at times. Because I haven’t invested years of my life to worshiping the franchise, there were plenty of moments in the movie where jokes when right over my head. I felt like I was the fat kid who wasn’t picked for dodgeball at times, with much of the theater laughing at some line, and there I was laughing along, but completely lost. However, the movie has enough new material, that even new viewers can easily follow the story. In the end, the biggest fault I give this movie is the relatively weak story. While the graphics and set design was great, and I liked most of the acting…I felt the story was a bit too rushed and not nearly deep enough (especially for the new fans). Too often it fell back on the old Hollywood clichés of chip on the shoulder characters, rather than getting a little deeper into these guys’ personalities and thoughts. The entire time I felt the writing was just skimming the surface. Finally, the villain in the movie just wasn’t good enough. For all the crazy evil people that could be lurking out there, all the double crossing aliens that exist in this alternate world, there could have been some really terrifying thug or thugs. Yes, Nero does some unthinkable things, but he just fell a little flat for me.

All in all, I enjoyed Star Trek, but it isn’t the second coming as some critics and fans play it up to be. It is, however, a solid summer flick and a great start to the summer movie season. I give Star Trek a Spork Rating of:

Christopher J. Robinson's take:

I couldn't agree more with the other R. I felt that Star Trek is a very good movie, and it kept me entertained throughout, but I kept thinking that if I had been a bigger Trek fan I would have loved this new installment. There were definitely some scenes and lines targeted for the long-time fans, but enough of the film focused on capturing a new audience.

I, too, thought the the plot was a bit weak and am convinced that the time travel element was added so that the original Spock (Leonard Nimoy) could make an appearance in the film. After seeing Zachary Quinto (Hero's Silar) as the new Spock, I cannot imagine anyone else in this role. He was perfect. At least I think he was perfect. I wouldn't really know since I have never seen a single Star Trek movie before this one and only remember seeing bits and pieces of the old television series when I was a wee lad (and thinking it was pretty lame). I thought Chris Pine did a great job as Captain Kirk, but who can compare to William Shatner???

Overall, the new Star Trek just didn't do it for me. I thought it was a very good and entertaining movie, and many folks will love it, but I have a hard time getting into this genre. I agree with B.A. Roof on a Spork rating of...

Rated PG-13

Opens May 7, 2009

Runtime: 2hr. 6min.

Thursday: Star Trek Review

2009-05-05T08:58:00.004-04:00

Be sure to check out our Star Trek review on Thursday. The R and R Review saw the movie last week but were sworn to secrecy by the movie mafia until it opened. What I can/will say about this latest installment is that it's different from the previous Star Treks, but you probably aready knew that nugget of knowledge.

Review: Verde Taqueria

2009-05-04T09:04:00.003-04:00

This weekend the wife and I decided to try out a new taqueria in town called Verde. The biggest allure was that it's located in the neighborhood of Atlanta we live in, which for some unknown reason has very few restaurants, especially compared to the rest of the city. Because of the constant threat of swine flu and the fact Verde opened just last week, we were hoping most of the locals would have no clue about Verde or stay in the safety of their homes, despite the dire restaurant shortage. As we swung by on Friday around 9pm, though, the place was busting at the seams like Kirstie Alley after an all night cupcake binger. I summoned the wife to see about the wait, but as I slowly patrolled by and looked at the dejected people sipping their corona lights, I knew this was only going to be a fly by. Sure enough, at an hour and a half wait for tacos, we were out of there like the Republican Party in Washington. I told you the people in my neighborhood are desperate for food. Don’t be surprised if you hear the words “Thunderdome” and “Brookhaven” in the same sentence down the road.

We decided to give Verde another chance at a glowing review and even a little bit of an edge as we waited until almost 2:30pm to eat lunch on Saturday. Being later in the afternoon and with dark clouds rolling in from the west, I figured we had a better chance at a table…just praying it wasn’t a patio table. Sure enough the crowds were less, but there was still a short wait. After a few minutes looking around and being tempted to tell them I was with the Atlanta Journal Constitution, I noticed to my displeasure that the wait was a bit artificial. Several tables were open, but the many disoriented servers running around the place like chickens with their heads cut off didn’t notice. There had to be a server for every two or three tables, which created too much commotion and potential for disaster coming out of the kitchen. It didn’t take long for the uneasy feeling of warm salsa and half eaten tacos to slap against the back of my legs.

After scowling for about ten minutes, a server (or maybe the host, although he seemed to be waiting tables as well) started to seat the annoyed patrons squeezed into the very small waiting area, because of the flooding rains outside. Verde had a good look, although a bit cold for a taco place. Half of the restaurant was windows creating a lot of light, while the other half was painted dark brown colors. The lack of wall space allowed the restaurant owners the opportunity to really go to town in decorating the remaining walls, but most of them were left unfilled leaving the place a bit bland.

Once seated, we were able to check out the menu, which was slightly different than that online. A MAJOR pet peeve of mine is when online menus do not disclose the price. Verde has taken a page from this book, and why a taco place feels they are too exclusive and snobby to add prices, I’m not sure. Tacos range in the $3-$4 dollar range, which I found to be on the pricey side, especially in this draconian economy. I guess I’m getting used to Taqueria Del Sol’s $2.19 price point. Once our disgruntled waiter noticed us and took our order, I was able to taste the rib, fried chicken club, buffalo chicken and pulled pork tacos (no I did not order all four for myself). I must say the rib and the pulled pork were by far the tastiest, but the buffalo and chicken club weren’t half bad. We also ate the chips and salsa which were good, but nothing special. I wanted to try the guacamole, but at nearly 7 bucks (and plans to have homemade guac later in the day), we decided to pass.

To sum up Verde, the service was horrible, but the food was very good. I’m not sure if it’s just first week jitters for the servers, or if they are all family friends from the Hamptons that have never served food a day in their life, but the service was unfriendly, rushed and chaotic. While the atmosphere had a trendy but a bit cold feel, the warm tasty food definitely saved the experience. In a month or so, once some of the savages find another place to eat, and the servers get a clue, I will definitely be eating at Verde again. It’s just too close to my house with food too tasty to pass up.

Verde gets a Spork Rating of:

www.verdetacos.com

1426 Dresden Dr NEAtlanta, GA 30319

(404) 254-5319

Mon-Thurs: 11am-10pm

Fri-Sat: 11am-12am

Sun: 11am-9pm

Review: Highland Tap

2009-04-28T09:44:00.019-04:00

When realtors are desperate to sell a house that is old, small and crowded, the listing will use words like warm, cozy, cottage, or bungalow. Well, the website for the Highland Tap describes the atmosphere in its dining room as “warm and clubby.” You do the math. The idea of eating a $26 NY Strip in a “clubby” atmosphere is not exactly appealing to me. Unfortunately, I went to the website ex post facto.

The dimly lit basement dining room and the speakeasy ambiance of the Highland Tap provide a romantic setting for those couples that tend to lurk in the shadows or sleep in coffins. While the dining room itself is smoke free, the bar area at the base of the main entrance is anything but. The secondhand smoke from the junior associates and middle managers sipping their martinis and sucking down their butts at the bar will find you. Even if you are hiding in the back corners of the Highland Tap, the nauseating cloud of cigarette smoke will track you down like the Smoke Monster from Lost.

During my first and last dining visit to the Highland Tap, I ordered the NY Strip, medium rare, with a side of asparagus glazed in hollandaise sauce. While the steak was cooked to my specifications, the meat was flavorless and dry, and trimmed in fat. The asparagus was tasty, but come on, it’s asparagus. All meals come with a small loaf of bread and butter and a side salad, both of which I did enjoy. However, I was quite disappointed with the steak.

The Highland Tap has received accolades in the past for being one of the best martini bars in Atlanta, but since I do not typically drink martinis, I cannot attest to this. What I can say, is that the bar was well stocked and had a decent selection of draft beers, including Sierra Nevada, a personal favorite.

The staff was very friendly and the Virginia-Highlands location is prime, but the bad steak and cellar like atmosphere left me with a bad taste in my mouth and a nice shirt caked in smoke. The food is not worth the price, but the bar and secretive dining room makes for a perfect rendezvous point for internet dates. Just don’t forget to tack on your dry-cleaning bill to your check total.

Highland Tap Steak Cellar
1026 N. Highland Ave.
ATL, GA 30306
(404) 875-3673
http://www.nnnwcorp.com/highlandtap.html

Movie Review: State of Play

2009-04-21T21:54:00.010-04:00

I enjoy movies revolving around political cover-ups and murder as much as I hope 24 will one day become believable again. The point is I like them...a lot. I truly believe JFK was killed by some government coup and I think most of the press doesn't have a clue what really goes on in politics. State of Play, having the all-star cast of Russell Crowe, Ben Affleck, Helen Mirren, Rachel McAdams, Robin Wright Penn, Jason Bateman and Jeff Daniels, had a lot of expectations to live up to with this story. Was this going to be the next All the President's Men? Was this the movie version of 24? Would this movie single handily save America's newspapers? The answer to all of those questions are a simple No, but the movie wasn't all bad, just not as great as I hoped or thought it would be.

While plenty will find this movie enjoyable (me included), I couldn't get past the fact that State of Play wasted a lot of great talent in a movie with a catchy story but an unoriginal ending. The story quickly starts with the murder of a bum in a dark rainy alley somewhere in the District of Columbia. Happens every day, right? Not this way. Seasoned newspaper reporter Cal McAffrey (Crowe) arrives on the scene the following morning and we soon learn that Cal knows his job and does it well. Shortly after Cal investigates that corpse another body bag is ordered when it's discovered that Congressman Stephen Collins's (Affleck) staffer/sexual liaison Sonia Baker (Maria Thayer) has died on the Metro tracks. Was it murder? Was it suicide? Okay, it's murder, since the trailers point that out. But, more interestingly it turns out that Congressman Collins just happens to be the longtime friend of reporter McAffrey. Is it possible for a reporter and politician to be friends? State of Play proves that it's tenuous at best. Immediately, Cal tries to help his buddy push back the attack dogs in the press, including blogger Della Frye (McAdams) and in doing so attempts to uncover what really happened with Sonia's death.

While State of Play definitely packs plenty of suspense and plot twists keeping audience members on the edge of their seats, I just couldn't help but feel it missed its mark. Was the movie trying to prove that newspapers are worth saving? That all politicians lie and manipulate? That bloggers aren't real reporters until they work under a "real" one (not that I am even implying I'm a reporter)? I know this review has many questions, but it's how the movie left me. While I enjoyed the acting overall, there were pieces of the movie that just didn't fit and left the story very unbalanced and awkward at times. On one hand you had a cold blooded assassin (Michael Berresse) and on the other a very odd and funny but a completely misplaced character in Dominic Foy (Bateman). Ultimately, maybe it was the ending that doomed the movie for me. I truly wanted some very complex, deep rooted conclusion to the film, but I think I get used to the constant cover-ups, moles and corrupt officials in 24 to realize that just isn't reality...or is it? While I felt State of Play had the right idea, and was mostly enjoyable, just don't go in expecting the best political thriller of the decade. Sure the acting is good by most and the story is interesting, but the ending will let you down and will force you to realize the story was decent, at best. So, for this decent but not great movie, I give State of Play a maybe-too-lofty Spork Rating of:

Rated PG-13

Runtime 127 min

Open nationwide

Sunday at the Masters

2009-04-15T16:00:00.006-04:00

Masters week has long been my favorite week of the year. With spring finally showing its beautiful face, the sun is shinning, the windows are open, and Masters coverage is on the tele 24/7. With the rain clouds clearing out, moving back in, and clearing out again, the office is abuzz with predictions, Tiger vs. The Field arguments, and Masters pools being filled out. People start talking about how much they love Shingo Katayama’s hats and how beautiful Jeev Milkha Singh’s swing is. Um, kidding.

Thanks in part to my strong sense of entitlement and the who’s who of the Robinson family connections, I was lucky enough to attend the final round of the 2009 Masters. The friend who attended the Sunday round with me has chosen to remain anonymous and will henceforth be referred to as “Bill.”

Here are some highlights from Sunday at the Masters.

WHERE WE SAT: 10th green. It was also a short walk to the 11th, 15th, 18th, and 8th tee boxes and the 14th and 17th greens (see below). After Tiger and Phil played the 10th, Bill and I moved our chairs behind the 18th tee box. Once Tiger and Phil left the course, we walked over to 16th green just in time to see Kenny Perry’s near ace and Angel Cabrera’s slippery 15-foot birdie putt.

UNSPOKEN RULE: Once you put your chair down, it will not be touched.

SPOKEN RULE: There is no running at Augusta National!!!!

SWEETEST HAIR: Tie. Bubba Watson and Aaron Baddeley.

BIZARRE MOMENT: With Tiger and Phil on the 17th green, some lunatic ducks under the ropes, dives into a bunker and starts doing snow angels. I am not lying. He was in there for 45 seconds before anyone had any idea what to do. He was then escorted to the Richmond County jail.

CHOKER OF THE DAY: Kenny Perry. He just needed to play 17 and 18 one over par.

TIP: Make sure you sit somewhere with a view of one of the scoreboards. The only downfall of attending the Masters is that you don’t get to see all the action going on around the course, like you would from your couch. Luckily for us, there was a giant scoreboard positioned on the left side of the 10th green so that we were able to keep up with what was going on with the leaders and we knew if anyone was making a Sunday charge. Whenever Bill and I heard a distant crowd cheer from across the course, we knew something big was happening, and a few seconds later it popped up on the scoreboard in front of us. Every time a new (lower) red number was posted next to Tiger or Phil, the crowd around us shrieked and cheered in pure ecstasy. It was pretty exciting to be a part of the action.

UNEXPECTED SURPRISE (for first timers): The food at the Masters is CHEAP. Bill and I each had a sandwich, chips, a snack, and a drink (with collector’s cups) for $10.50. Import beers were $3 with a collector’s cup. You might pay $2,500 for a Sunday ticket, but you won’t have to dip into your kid’s college fund for lunch.

A FEW THOUGHTS: Sergio is shorter than I expected. Rory Sabatini is a complete douche bag. I was 2 feet from Padraig Harrington. The two main differences between pros and amateurs are consistency and trajectory. Those guys hit the ball super high. There was no rough at the Masters this year. If I am luckily enough to go back another year, I am going to put my chair near the 13th green and spend a lot of time over at Amen Corner.

SPORKS: If Tiger or Phil had comeback to win, or if Kenny Perry had played the last two holes at +1, it would have been a 5 Spork day. Alas, my Sunday at the Masters gets...

Review: Southland (NBC)

2009-04-14T09:17:00.003-04:00

I had no set plans to watch Southland when the pilot came on last Thursday night. I guess that's why I recorded it rather than viewing it when it aired. NBC has been having problems as of late getting anyone to watch their shows, so they have a lot riding on this new cop drama. With the recent complete failure of Kings (a great show, but sent to the graveyard of Saturday night to die a quiet death) and ER now long gone, NBC desperately needs a hit. Taking ER’s Thursday night time slot (well keeping it warm until Jay Leno returns in the fall at 10p.m. Monday through Friday), Southland debuted to a strong audience, winning the 18-49 year old audience for that time slot.

The show is set in current day crime-filled Los Angeles while it follows several LAPD officers, specifically Officer Ben Sherman, played by The O.C.’s Benjamin McKenze. Southland begins about 3/4ths of the way through the episode, showing the end of a bloody shootout in one of L.A.’s, let’s just say I’m not moving there, “rougher” neighborhoods. Ben is standing over a bullet-hole-filled-tattoo-covered body in complete shock as we learn it’s Ben’s first day on the job. Quickly the story jumps back to the beginning of the day when Ben is getting into the police cruiser for the first time as a cop with an extremely blunt and crude Officer John Cooper, played by Michael Cudlitz (Band of Brothers). While Cudlitz plays a stereotypical rough and tough officer, it doesn’t seem too forced or unbelievable. His portrayal of John Cooper is someone I would expect, someone I would want to be patrolling the not so yellow brick roads of L.A.

The story also revolves around several detectives played by Shawn Hatosy (Alpha Dog, Public Enemies) and Kevin Alejandro (Shark, Ugly Betty) who investigate a random drive-by shooting of a black teenager. Additionally Regina King (24, Jerry Maguire), playing Detective Lydia Adams and Tom Everett Scott (Race to Witch Mountain, Saved), playing Detective Russell Clark, try to determine what happened to a young girl who went missing from a local neighborhood. Southland follows these characters throughout their day, similar to an omnipresent documentary crew, with gritty and choppy camera work, which gives the viewer the feeling of being there with them. The writing touches race, drugs, violent crimes and socioeconomics all in one episode providing a feel similar to the movie Crash. The writing was also very colorful in parts, enough to make the censors bleep out some language. I’m not sure why they put the bad language in the show knowing it would get censored, whether they want an even grittier DVD, desire to give the network viewer a flavor for the characters without lodging an FCC fine or if NBC just really wants to be like its cable channel cousins, but its overprotective parent at GE said no. Who knows and I haven’t even determined whether I liked it or if it was distracting.

What I did like was that that Southland seemed more original and fresh, not being a typical Law and Order or CSI franchise where there is a crime and then we follow the cops and lawyers until someone is neatly put behind bars. Southland doesn’t package things up quite as nicely and focuses less on the clues to discovering who done it and more on the surrounding circumstances, characters and just every day life. The viewer is left not even sure whether the cops solving the crimes are good, but it provides some great, if not gruesome, scenes. I really enjoy television shows that are more like mini movies every week, rather than ones that are completely predictable (first two minutes there will be a crime, then the detectives comb through the clues, then a plot twist, then the arrest). I’m interested to see the direction of this show and how the characters and stories will develop and evolve over time, which is a good thing for NBC, since I will tune in again this week. I give Soutland a Spork Rating of:

NBC, Thursdays at 10p.m.

Note from the Editors

2009-04-13T10:56:00.002-04:00

Okay, so we haven't been that good at updating our site the last week or so. We act like we have other jobs or something. But, between having a crazy week at work, people visiting from out of town and one of the Rs attending The Masters, we have been neglecting the R and R Review. But, don't fret, we have some new posts coming very soon including a first hand account of The Masters and a review of the new cop show Southland. Stay tuned.

Quote of the Day

2009-04-07T08:31:00.004-04:00

"They make you take your shoes off and everything, it's terrible,"

Allen Stanford (accused of running a ponzi scheme and defrauding billions out of his customers) complained about the airport security that apparently came as a surprise to him when he was forced to fly on a commercial plane for the first time in almost two decades after the government seized his fleet of six private jets.

Movie Review: Adventureland

2009-04-03T10:51:00.009-04:00

By Christopher J. Robinson and BA Roof

Compared to our last experience, last night’s screening of Adventureland was a bit more subdued. No dancers, no loud MCs, no blow-up guitar challenges, no previews. Just straight in to the feature. The theaters at Phipps Plaza are a bit smaller, but seemed the perfect size for the attending crowd and their smorgasbord of food court dinners (which for some reason the AMC staff allowed everyone to bring in). Given that the R and R were perfectly in tune with their thoughts on this movie, we have decided to present the world with our first ever combined review. Hold on to your seats and enjoy.

The tagline for Adventureland was “that it was the worst job that they imagined and the best time of their lives”. After viewing the movie, we can only conclude that both of those statements are somewhat incorrect. Superbad director Greg Mottola brings us the semi-autobiographical story of recent college graduate James Brennen, played by Jesse Eisenberg (Squid and the Whale) trying to earn some extra money during the summer of 1987. Eisenberg’s nervous and awkward delivery is reminiscent of Michael Cera (Arrested Development, Juno) and seems to be the new cliché method for off-beat comedy leads, yet he pulled off this bit about as well and funny as anyone. The movie opens with James’ parents informing him, at his graduation dinner no less that his dad was reassigned and they could no longer afford James traveling throughout Europe all summer. Because of the low funds, James is also forced to find a job to pay for grad school at Columbia in the fall. Eisenberg is fantastic playing overly intellectual James stumbling through job interviews and informing everybody of his literary skills and virginity. In the end, the only place that will hire such a special guy is the rundown summer amusement park Adventureland.

This movie was not at all what we expected from writer/director Mottola. Superbad was one of those constantly laughing crude comedies where there was always a great line or vomit coming out of a character’s mouth. In contrast, Adventureland often tries to explore the deeper and darker sides of these young adults and their struggles while interlacing some truly hilarious scenes. Such as James’ dream of attending Columbia being tossed away like customers' money on all the rigged games at Adventurland, or deeply depressed Em Lewin, played by Kristen Stewart (Into the Wild, Twilight), struggling with her mother’s death and father’s choice in a new bald bride. The balance between the characters’ real life struggles set against the comedy of life working at a rundown third world amusement park is well received. While in real life these amusement parks typically assemble a wide range of interesting (okay weird) characters, Mottola is able to present the typical stereotypes while simultaneously attaching a human element we can all relate to from some point in our lives. Or, maybe it’s because one of the R’s has college-break amusement park experience. Who knows?

Great performances were given by Eisenberg, Hader, and Wigg, but it was Kristin Stewart that outshined the rest of the cast. She gave a raw and pure performance while playing the role of diamond in the carnie rough perfectly. It was easy to become sympathetic towards Em, torn between physical attraction and nerd-love. While the movie was interesting to watch, there were some things we just could not ignore. It was impossible to wrap our minds around the idea that many of these characters were supposed college graduate aged. We kept imagining many of them in high school or in their earlier college years, mostly because of their immaturity and seemingly prepubescent bodies. This problem probably arose from some of the writing, but throughout the film we found ourselves uncomfortable with the fact that they were buying alcoholic beverages in bars and had to remind ourselves that they were over 21. Additionally, Ryan Reynolds (Van Wilder, Definitely, Maybe) should not have been cast for his role as Mike Connell. He looked out of place as the mechanic-rock-star wannabe. Not sure if it was his looks, acting or the writing, but it didn’t quite work. He dressed too well and was too clean cut for working as the tilt-a-whirl mechanic. What did work, though, was how Mottola used Bill Hader (SNL, Forgetting Sarah Marshall) and Kristen Wiig (SNL) as Bobby and Paulette, the carnie managers. They were used sparingly in the movie, which made their antics and lines hilarious and memorable throughout.

Although the movie struggles at times between being a drama and a comedy, with some of the writing a little misplaced, we felt overall Adventureland delivered. We must warn our readers not to expect a Superbad 2 when going to watch this one. Adventureland has similarities more akin to a serious coming-of-age flick while using the comedy of a second rate amusement park as the setting. We believe these characters would agree that while the job had its downsides, who could not love having almost zero responsibilities during the summer, the opportunity to party most nights and get paid for it all (and one R in particular is not trying to justify his amusement park experience)? With Yo La Tengo providing the tunes and obscure literary references throughout, Adventureland should draw both the indie crowd and the Apatow-style comedy followers. All in all, the R and R Review recommends catching this flick but don’t be surprised if in the end you somewhat envy the lives of all these carnies. The R and R gives Adventureland a Spork Rating of:

Runtime 1 hr. 46 min.

Opens April 3, 2009

Rated R

Tweet, Tweet: A Twitter Review (Updated)

2009-04-01T09:57:00.011-04:00

BA Roof:

On Monday night, Christopher J Robinson and I decided to try out something new, something all the kids are talking about. Twitter. He will be providing his own commentary on the experience, but I wanted to share my own.

First, let me back up and say when I heard about Twitter, I really didn’t understand the point. And now? I still don’t, although plenty of articles go on in lengths about how great it is for differing reasons. Now, before any of you Twitter fans start calling me a grandpa for not embracing new technology…I have to say I tried. I really wanted to be a Twitter fan. I love new technology and at times I am a snob about it. I like to claim that I was one of the first on Facebook, joining in 2004. I own a Macbook (I owned an Ibook, too), own two Ipods and an Iphone. I even blog now. But, even politicians are using Twitter now, so I thought, man I need to get in on this if John McCain is using it and I’m not.

So, Mr. Robinson and I thought it would be a great idea to tweet about the latest 24 episode on Monday night for our loyal readers. After all, we do review episodes of 24 every couple of weeks, so why not tweet about it while we are actually viewing it? He was Jack and I was Agent Moss and we were going to give our own rendition of what those two characters were actually thinking. It was brilliant, although we found out many others do the same thing. As we began, I immediately had writer’s block. All the funny witty things that I thought of beforehand had evaporated. I freaked out. I couldn’t even watch the show. I couldn’t think of what to write. I hated Twitter. It was stupid. I felt embarrassed for myself, like some father trying to hang with his kids. About two thirds of the way through, I quit figuring no one would even care what I wrote.

Maybe I shouldn’t give up on Twitter after just this one horrifying experience, but really who cares what I’m doing all day, except my usual stalker. I find it hard enough to sign on to Facebook to check out profiles, pictures, etc. and now I have to start linking up to my friends seeing what they ate and how they slept the night before? No, I’m out. I’m not doing Twitter. I recommend the same for you, as this will end the same way as all fads do. You will look back at pictures of you tweeting and images of slap bracelets and New Coke will emerge. Unless you are vain or terribly bored, I give Twitter a Spork Rating of:

Christopher J. Robinson:

Firstly, does BA Roof really need to rub our faces in the fact that he is rolling in the dough? Two laptops, two iPods, an iPhone… I’m surprised he didn’t mention his Boston Whaler or his time-share in Daytona Beach. Not a week goes by that I don’t hear him slip something about his rare coin collection into casual conversation. Some of us in the bourgeoisie only have ONE iPod and we stay in motels or sleep in our cars, not lavish time-shares. Rare coins to us are quarters, not colonial currency.

For obvious reasons, I have been very hesitant to go anywhere near Twitter. But then I found out that Shaq uses it. And Michael Showalter uses it. And Stewart Cink uses it. The list of random celebrities that use Twitter is endless. It’s fun to read Shaq’s tweets (and even more fun to say) and see pictures of Steve Nash sleeping on the bus. Michael Showalter’s tweets are funny. And Stewart Cink tweeted that he will be tweeting a lot during the Masters, which is pretty awesome. But do I care about the fact that Andy down the street is having trouble with his bowel movements or that Jill is being unproductive and sitting on the couch??? The answer is no. I don’t care, and no one else cares. We only care about the celebs, not the average Joe.

We also have the fact that stuff like Twitter is killing the internet as a venue for skilled writing. Bill Simmons puts it best: “In 15 years, writing went from "reflecting on what happened and putting together some coherent thoughts" to "reflecting on what happened as quickly as possible" to "reflecting on what's happening as it's happening" to "here are my half-baked thoughts about absolutely anything and I'm not even going to attempt to entertain you," or as I like to call it, Twitter/Facebook Syndrome.”

Of course, there are people out there that think Twitter can make you a better writer. It forces you to be concise, exercise vocabulary, yada yada yada. I completely disagree. Why is concise writing better writing? A more concise Dickens would have been better, yes, but the idea behind writing is to paint a picture with words. Writing in any form will help you exercise your vocabulary, and the more you write the more words you will need, and ultimately learn.

But what this all boils down to is that no one cares what you are doing every second of the day, unless you make it absurd and over the top. For instance, tweeting (so sick of this word, by the way) about bathroom phobias or live updates about striking out with women could possibly provide some comic relief. So while I don’t care to know that Ralph had a rough day at work and is feeling kind of crappy, I do find it funny that Vince has a corn on his foot the size of Portugal. See the difference?

Here is the R and R Review’s failed attempt at tweeting the thoughts of Jack Bauer and Agent Moss during this week’s episode of 24…. http://twitter.com/randrreview.

And if you have no idea what we are talking about, you can move to the UK and get a Master’s degree in Facebook, MySpace and Twitter.

Quote of the Day

2009-03-31T09:31:00.008-04:00

"If I'm corrupt, it's because I take care of my district."

-The biggest, fattest, most plump banquet-fed piggie himself... John Murtha.

Friday Review: Adventureland

2009-03-30T22:19:00.004-04:00

Updated: Be sure to set your Outlook Calendar to Friday afternoon when the R and R Review gives its opinion on yet another flick before it's released. This week, as the picture above suggests, we will be viewing Adventureland. I hope its as good as I Love You, Man. I sure can get used to these advance screenings. Again, we have to thank our friends at Metromix Atlanta.

Delta Europe Deals

2009-03-27T11:48:00.003-04:00

So I guess I’m going to become the Delta blogger. I got an email earlier this week telling me to take advantage of discounts on low cost air fares to Europe. I was expecting maybe $250 each way. Nope, it was $409 each way to Barcelona from Atlanta. Barcelona was the only “discounted” fare from Atlanta no less. With taxes, that means this ticket would be around $1,000 round trip. This sure isn’t cheap to me. Not like I was sitting on the fence between flying to New York or Barcelona and this “deal” is going to push me toward Barcelona. My point to Delta is…don’t waste my time on sale e-mails unless there's really a sale. Maybe give me a better selection, since I live in a city that is the major hub of Delta. Also, tell me the round trip price. I have no plans on moving to Spain right now. For keeping me up to date, but on useless information I give this latest attempt by Delta a Spork Rating of:

Where The Wild Things Are: Trailer

2009-03-25T23:11:00.003-04:00

Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak, hands down the greatest children's book of all time, has finally been made into a movie. Directed by Spike Jonze (Being John Malkovich, Adaptation, Beastie Boys Sabotage video) and written for the screen by Jonze and Dave Eggers... incredible. I had this book memorized word for word by the time I was three years old and cannot wait for this film to be released. October 16, 2009.

The Georgia Tech Club at Echelon

2009-03-25T09:46:00.009-04:00

I had heard that the Georgia Tech Club was a long and difficult course, but was told by a member that it is actually rated as the hardest course in the Atlanta area. The mid tees played around 6,660 yards, with the tips playing just over 7,000 yards. To put that in perspective, during the 2002 US Open, Bethpage Black was playing at 7,200 yards.

On Sunday afternoon, I was able to play this course with a fellow Atlanta Golf Leaguer, who has been a GT Club member since the course opened about 2 and a half years ago. Apparently the club only has around 200 members, so the course is never crowded. We only encountered one other group the entire day. Pretty amazing. It was like we had the course to ourselves. Unfortunately, at this point in time, the clubhouse is a double wide trailer and the carts are stored under a tent. The website shows the grandiose plans for construction of the clubhouse, but from what I have been told, there is no set start date. I quickly dropped this from my mind when I rode up to the stunning practice facilities, which included a driving range with accurately labeled distances to pins (and greens!), a true-to-course putting green, and even a short game area. Although I didn't have time to use the short game practice area, it looked really sweet. There was room enough for long pitch shots, it had several bunkers, and areas of different elevation to practice almost any conceivable chip shot. It was probably the nicest practice facility I have ever seen.

As for the course, it certainly lived up to the hype. Any errant tee shots typically found major trouble, as the course is heavily wooded and many holes play along streams and other bodies of water. There were a few holes where tee shots required at least 200 yards of carry just to make it to the fairway. Being March, fairways and rough were dormant, but still in great shape. On approach shots, the safe miss was typically short and/or right, which played well for my fade. Left usually meant big trouble. The bunkers were immaculately kept and the greens were literally perfect. Many courses aerate their greens this time of year, so it's hard to find a course where the greens are not covered in sand. These greens were big, fast, and rolled true. To me, nice greens are worth every penny, especially these greens. They can make fools out of the average putter.

Pictured above is the par 3 8th, which played about 160 yards from the Blue tees. The tee shot plays over a lake into an amphitheatre green set into the hillside with bunkers behind. This hole has been compared to the 12th at Augusta National, but plays longer. My tee shot hit just short of the green and rolled down into the muck. But unlike Augusta, there was no crowd to sigh on my behalf. Just a playing partner whose competitive eyes lit up.

I found the back nine to be more difficult than the front, as there were huge elevation changes which led to blind approach shots. But again, short and right seemed to be the safe miss. Guest fees range from $70-$125 depending on who you know, but this playing experience is definitely worth every penny. If you have the chance to play this course, take it. You will be humbled.

The Georgia Tech Club at Echelon
501 Founders Drive
Alpharetta, GA 30004
P: 770.888.4653
http://www.echelonliving.com/experience.html

Knowing

2009-03-25T09:03:00.003-04:00

I don’t think Nicholas Cage has ever turned down a movie script. He is all over the chart going from Gone in 60 Seconds to The Family Man to his Oscar winning dramatic role in Leaving Las Vegas to the action flick The Rock. Seeing him as the leading man in Knowing gave me absolutely no indication what direction the movie would go. Action? Adventure? Thriller? Drama? Now, after seeing Knowing, I can only assume that the writers and director had no clue, either. Before viewing the movie, all I knew about it was that there was bunch of numbers that predicted tragedies. I expected an end of the world scenario facing Mr. Cage’s character John Koestler, but had no clue what was behind the potential disaster. So, I was taking a gamble going to see this movie and boy did I lose big.

The premises of the story is that in 1959 students at a new elementary school put pictures into a time capsule of what they predict 2009 will hold for the world. Everyone put pictures in except for creepy Lucinda Embry (Robinson), who wrote a series of numbers. Fast forward to the fall of 2009 when the school opens the capsule and the students each take an envelope holding the predictions from the 1959 students. John Koestler’s son, Caleb Koestler (Canterbury), is the unlucky child to pull Lucinda’s page of numbers and soon starts to experience very strange events, such as hearing whispers and seeing strange people standing near the woods by his house wearing dark cloaks. One point that drove me nuts the entire movie was that Caleb wore an ear device. At first I thought he was deaf, but he could speak and hear fine. It was pointed out he was an expert in sign language, however. Later, his father explains that words just get mixed up in his head and the device helps him, yet he isn't deaf. Um, I don’t think a hearing aid helps dyslexic children. Anyways, the device was never fully explained or needed for the plot, except as a warning to the audience that the strange people were coming.

John quickly became curious about the numbers, after knocking back a few drinks, because of his all too predictable depression. Not sure why the drinking seems so fake or forced, especially since Cage won an Academy Award for playing a drunk. Even though he has had quite a bit, John’s mental abilities are not impaired and he quickly determines, in about 10 seconds of randomly selecting numbers from the Lucinda’s sheet, that they represent the date that tragic events happen and the amount of people who are going to die. Of course, his scientist buddy believes that John is going insane, due to his wife’s recent death and pays no attention to the seemingly hundreds of incidents accurately forecasted by the paper. This is also when the movie changes from just a disaster/end of the world film to a science fiction/theology thriller.

While I expected very little when I entered the theater, I began to expect much more as the movie developed only to later realize that it bit off more than it could chew. The complex story seemed to be rushed (John figuring out this complex number puzzle in 10 seconds), yet was somehow sluggish in revealing major plot developments. At times I believe the film wanted to be bigger than just an average thriller/action genre movie like Armageddon, but the writing and acting never lived up and thus created a mess. Why both Lucinda and Lucinda’s granddaughter was played by the same little girl, I’m still not sure. Was this movie pushing faith in a higher being or proving everything could be explained in science? I have no clue. Maybe that’s the point, but I left frustrated and wished I saw Duplicity instead (I already saw I Love You, Man). To sum it up, the writing was a mess, the acting was too predictable and overdone, and the overall feel of the movie was strange. By the time the ending came, I didn't care who lived or died and laughed at the last scene. I don’t recommend wasting your money on this movie as you will leave feeling unsatisfied and frustrated. Why did this movie, having a story with so much potential seemingly just give up and follow the path of so many others? No clue and for that reason, I give Knowing a Spork Rating of:

Runtime: 1 hr. 55 min.

Rated PG-13

Opened March 20, 2009

I Love You, Man

2009-03-19T11:52:00.013-04:00

By: BA Roof

Last night the R and R Review had an interesting experience screening I Love You, Man. Since we’re not a big enough outfit to have movies sent directly to our private screening room yet, we still have to sit among the commoners in our smoking jackets to watch a film. We thank Metromix Atlanta for giving us the opportunity to see this movie, for free no less, but I must say the co-sponsoring radio station's pre-movie “warm-up” that we had to endure was a little over the top (think overweight men dancing around with their shirts off). I just kept thinking does Roger Ebert have to go through this before screening a movie?

As for the film, I must say that Paul Rudd (Knocked Up, 40 Year Old Virgin) and Jason Segel (Knocked Up, Forgetting Sarah Marshall), along with writer/director John Hamburg (Meet the Parents, Zoolander), have struck gold in the theaters, yet again. Is there anything this group of guys can’t make funny? With a great supporting cast, including Jon Favreau, Andy Samberg, J.K. Simmons and Rashida Jones (The Office), the laughs don’t stop and the movie flows effortlessly throughout.

When I first heard about this movie, I seriously questioned how on earth the writers were going to do a story about a guy wanting/needing a best friend and best man for his wedding…and gaining one by going on man-dates. But, if you love comedy with absurd awkwardness, this is the movie for you. There were plenty of times watching Rudd’s character, Peter Klaven, that I wanted to close my eyes or mute the movie, because the things he did and said were just so ridiculous. I laughed, but truly felt embarrassed for him. Probably since there have been moments in my life that I’ve said some really stupid things, I could relate, but Peter took it to a new level. Of course, you have the typical stupid comedy (fart jokes and vomit) in the movie, but even these are cleverly placed and not overused. However, I think it’s always the more subtle lines and body language that gets the biggest laughs with these guys, and this movie didn’t disappoint.

I wish there had been a little more story development and slightly more camera time between Peter and fiancée Zooey (Jones), as I loved Jones on The Office. I mean really, who wouldn’t have liked to see her more…maybe taking a shower? I mean, not for me, but for all the guys watching the movie. But, this is a movie about guy relationships, so it makes complete sense, but you do find yourself asking with Peter and Syndey...why are you marrying her? One of my gold standards when watching a comedy is does it put me into a laughing fit. The fits where I can’t breathe and I’m grabbing the person next to me and tears are flowing. Segel and Rudd often accomplish this in their movies and this one did just that, especially when it came time for Peter to imitate James Bond in his leprechaun voice for Sydney while trying on tuxs for his wedding.

While I’m not sure how many guys out there truly suffer from Peter’s problem of having no close male friends (I’ve known a few on the brink), the movie still explores common dilemmas and themes facing couples trying to balance their friendships, relationships and jobs, making the story relatable to all. While technically this movie was a “man-date” for me, since I went with the other “R”, I think this would be a great comedy that the Mrs. could still relate to and enjoy.

I give I Love You, Man a Spork Rating of:

By: Christopher J. Robinson

My man-crush on Paul Rudd first began when I saw him as a crippled war veteran bound to a wheelchair in the Cider House Rules, and has only continued to blossom over the years. Rudd’s road to stardom has taken some interesting turns. His breakout role in Clueless propelled him into a few rom-com leads and a recurring role on Friends, but it was during Wet Hot American Summer that I believe Paul Rudd really fell into his comedic element. Wet Hot American Summer introduced him to the boys from The State and eventually led to Judd Apatow, who has helped turn Rudd into the comic genius that everyone wants to work with.

In I Love You, Man, Rudd plays awkward as well as Steve Carell and is even on par with the master of awkwardness, Ben Stiller. Peter Klaven’s man-dates were perfectly uncomfortable and his initial interactions with Sydney (Jason Segel) made me cringe in my seat. But I loved it. They were perfect. Writer/director John Hamburg did a brilliant job of moving Peter and Sydney from awkward and uncomfortable to a perfectly gelled bromance. Rudd and Segel have a natural chemistry that is really fun to watch.

The supporting cast in this movie is unreal. Jon Favreau, Jamie Pressly, JK Simmons, Thomas Lennon (Lt. Dangle) and fellow The State alum, Joe Lo Truglio were all great and all of them provided laughs. I feel as though adequate screen time was given to Peter and Zooey, and I didn’t need more Rashida Jones because I feel like she didn’t bring any additional comedy to the table and that she wasn’t supposed to. Jones’s character was grounded in the seriousness of her relationship and it was the job of the rest of the cast to crack us up.

Even though the plot is rather obvious and slightly predictable, the movie flows smoothly and there is no down time or plot stretching. I Love You, Man certainly has its vulgar moments, but seems rather tame compared to the like-minded Apatow releases. I loved Sydney’s man room, complete with drum kit, masturbating station, and a photo of a lizard with a cigarette shoved in its mouth. The movie is consistently funny and the laughs keep coming. There were so many quotable lines that it will probably take multiple viewings to get them all down. The humor is too inappropriate for kids, but perfect for everyone else, guys and girls alike. Between Peter’s absurd nicknames, the projectile vomiting, and Lou Ferrigno’s sleeper hold, I give I Love You, Man:

No More Paper Boarding Passes from Delta?

2009-03-19T11:31:00.007-04:00

So, it was announced today that Delta is moving towards paperless boarding passes. What does this mean? Well according to my sources (an email from Delta which probably millions of you got as well), we can use our Web-enabled mobile devices (cell phones) as a paperless boarding pass. All the TSA agent will have to do is check your ID and scan the “electronic pass”. I’m guessing that means scanning your phone, as demonstrated above. Besides the guaranteed hiccups that TSA will present dealing with this 21st Century technology (expect full body searches), this is very promising. I don’t know how often I’m digging through a bag or backpack at the last second, with people screaming at me, trying to find my paper boarding pass. It’s one less thing I have to fumble with and lose and one less thing causing me nose bleeds.

Cities already with this grand technology from Delta are Atlanta, Minneapolis, Memphis and New York (LaGuardia). Soon to come are Vegas, Orlando and Salt Lake City. For more details go to Delta.com. I give this new Delta paperless idea, without proper testing, a Spork Rating of:

Tommorrow's Review: I Love You Man

2009-03-18T11:23:00.007-04:00

Be sure to check in tomorrow morning as the R and R Review will post its first sneak peek movie review ever when we review I Love You, Man. Hopefully in the future, the R and R Review will be able to bring you many more reviews BEFORE the movie actually comes out. (Subject to the movie theater not screwing us over.)

24 Season 7, Episode 14

2009-03-17T09:16:00.006-04:00

*Spoiler Alert*

BA Roof: Watching last night’s 24, I thought to myself that Jack is either the unluckiest man alive or extremely lucky. I thought at first he’s unlucky, because his wife has been killed, almost every friend of his has died, his daughter doesn’t speak to him and he is the one who always has to save the country while no one believes him. Then I thought, well, maybe he is lucky after all, since he never seems to die when everyone else bites the dust. You just know “luck” will catch up with him in the series finale. Whenever the writers and producers end the show, you won’t have Jack sailing off and enjoying the rest of his life on some island. Unless a movie is planned, of course.

I actually enjoyed last night’s episode much more than most of the others up to this point. It definitely didn’t have as much action (no blowing up the Capital) or jaw dropping plot twists like many of the others (a good thing). However, I just found the plot a little more believable (if you can imagine that). It’s not a new idea that people involved in the “defense” industry have too much to gain by war and too much to lose in peace. So, I’ve always believed it’s not out of the realm of possibilities that certain individuals involved in the military business would go to extreme measures for new weaponry technology, for war and for wanting to take over a country. I mean, it seems like every year a military guy overthrows the government in some Latin American or African country. But, you don’t often see the White House invaded in movies (I will make an exception for Mars Attacks!, because that was just funny and of course aliens can overtake anything), and never in real life, but how many times throughout human history has there been someone corrupt in the military or military industry that ruins things for a country’s leaders?

Last night that very plot twist was revealed. You also had Senator Mayer that hates Jack actually believing him (Why can’t Larry Moss believe him?). Of course, once the Senator believed Jack, he had to die. My only worry now is the show will go too fast with the plot. The writers seem to have done this the last few seasons, they get all excited about some sort of plot idea and tell it all in two or three shows. It’s premature plotjaculation. First, you have 24 episodes to lay out the plot. Second, the plot idea happens all in 24 hours. Calm down. Throw in some believable twists and strong character development. Why in the next episode is Jack already at the port stopping the shipment? Shouldn’t there be more obstacles along the way? Shouldn’t it have taken him more than an hour or two to get this information and more than 20 or 30 minutes to get to the port with the FBI hot on his trail? Besides unbelievable plotlines, my second biggest gripe with the writers is that they rush story ideas too quickly and have to come up with more garbage to fill the leftover time. Lets’ hope I’m wrong about next weeks episode. I give this week’s episode a Sporks Rating of:

Chaos at Next Top Model

2009-03-16T08:40:00.006-04:00

What I would have given to be on the second floor watching the mayhem on Saturday afternoon at the Next Top Model auditions. Picture the scene…thousands of dimwitted model wannabes waiting for their audition when panic ensued. Someone yelled “CHEESEBURGER!” and they all screamed and ran for their lives. Okay, so no one yelled cheeseburger, but someone did yell "fire". Now, if they were inside waiting in a room with only one exit that was shut, and the room filled with smoke, I could see there being fear and panic when someone yelled “fire”. But, the models were outside. There was plenty of room to escape. And the smoke? It came from a nearby car with a little engine trouble.

I mean, unless the car was on fire itself, it couldn’t have been producing so much smoke as for anyone to believe the building was burning down. The best part was someone later yelled “gun”, in the throes of the chaos. I feel sorry for the three smart models out in the world that will forever be stereotyped by this incident. How some smoke equals a gun and everyone freaks out, I will never know. I really shouldn’t be so mean though, since there were several injured and as one victim said “Do you know how many people lost their purses…tonight?” That was the real tragedy of it all. For their crowd control abilities, I give the CW and Tyra Banks:

For the comedy of it all, I give the model dreamers:

In-Seat Power Outlets? Finally!!!

2009-03-13T15:52:00.015-04:00

A few minutes ago, valued Delta customers, such as BA Roof and I, received an email bragging about their new non-stop service to Sydney from LAX. From the email...

"Make the trip in a spacious Boeing 777-200LR, which offers our BusinessElite® service with its state-of-the-art in-flight entertainment system; a five-course menu by celebrity chef Michelle Bernstein; a reinvented wine program; full-size pillows and duvets; and in-seat power outlets. You'll arrive rested, refreshed and ready to soak up all things Aussie."

This is really great because the only reason that I have not booked a flight to Australia is because I did not feel like I would be comfortable during the super long, half way around the globe flight. I've been scared of the tiny seats, the chances of getting stuck in between a morbidly obese person and a crying baby, those tiny pillows, and no way to charge my PSP mid-flight. For years I have said that if only Delta had in-seat power outlets I'd be en route to Sydney in a cocaine heartbeat! And now they do! That extra $2,000 I had been saving for a trip to Oz is finally getting transferred out of my ING account. Look out Claire Littleton, I'm coming for you.

Pig of the Month

2009-03-13T10:01:00.009-04:00

Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, believes that she has an entire fleet of private military aircraft at her disposal. The taxpayers foot the bill so that Madame Speaker, along with her family and friends, can be shuttled around the country whenever she feels like it. And when the Air Force planes that Ms. Pelosi wants are not available, she gets angry.

According to a report from Judicial Watch, Nancy Pelosi has issued unprecedented demands for high-end military aircraft and wasted taxpayer resources with her last minute cancellations. Based on e-mails and other documents obtained through the Freedom of Information Act, it is apparent that Pelosi has abused the system in place to accommodate congressional leaders and treated the Air Force as her "personal airline."

Madame Speaker's office has refuted these claims by pointing to the fact that after 9/11, rules were changed that allowed the Speaker of the House to travel to his or her congressional district via military aircraft whenever possible for security reasons. Her office claims that she uses the same types of aircraft that were used by her predecessor, and quintessential banquet-fed pig, Dennis Hastert. Granted, Hastert was allowed access to a 12-seat commuter jet, while Pelosi has repeatedly requested a 42-seat Air Force carrier to take her and her staff back and forth between San Francisco, CA and Washington, DC. It should also be noted that former Speaker Newt Gingrich flew commercial while in office. Just saying.

Some of the e-mails recovered by Judicial Watch show repeated attempts by Pelosi aides to request aircraft, sometimes aggressively, and by Department of Defense officials to accommodate them.

"I think that's above and beyond what other members of Congress are doing and what is expected of our elected officials," said Jenny Small, a researcher with the group.

In one e-mail, Pelosi aide Kay King complained to the military that they had not made available any aircraft the House speaker wanted for Memorial Day recess. "It is my understanding there are NO G5s available for the House during the Memorial Day recess. This is totally unacceptable ... The Speaker will want to know where the planes are," King wrote.

In another, when told a certain type of aircraft would not be available, King wrote: "This is not good news, and we will have some very disappointed folks, as well as a very upset Speaker.

Nancy Pelosi and House democrats have lead the charge against the use of private jets by the evil, nasty, blood-sucking corporate CEOs, all the while treating the Air Force as their personal airline. Pelosi uses Air Force planes for far more than travel to and from her congressional district, and is finally being called out for it. Nancy, you are a pig and a hypocrite and you get ZERO Sporks. Good day to you, Madame Speaker.

Bristol and Levi Are No More?

2009-03-12T09:03:00.005-04:00

Today I am in a deep depression because Lost did NOT air a new episode last night. This wasn’t a shock, since they informed us last week that they were cutting off our drug this week. So, now I have Lost withdraws this morning and almost didn’t get out of bed. So imagine how I felt when I learned turning on my computer hoping for some happy news that the fairytale marriage between Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston was off? What the heck? No caribou carriage-ride down main street Wasilla? No Canadian geese being released after the “I do”? No shooting grizzlies from a helicopter on the honeymoon?

Well, after I got over my complete shock that something like this could happen in my world, I immediately felt horrible for the conservative base that supported the Palins through the elections. What are they going to hang their hat on now? First, their star, Sarah Palin, took a huge blow after the 2008 elections. During that time they had to look the other way when they found out Bristol was having a child OUT of wedlock AND underage. Thank goodness at very least she would be getting married to the father. Ahhhh, yeah, about that. Now, Levi won’t even make an “honest” woman out of her? Besides my morning being ruined, I now imagine every hard line conservative wandering around their house aimlessly this morning in tears asking “Why, God, why ?!?!” while holding a picture from US Weekly magazine of Bristol. Oh well, at least Lost is coming back on next week. But Bristol and Levi's separation gets a thanks for ruining my morning Spork Rating of:

Mirror Lake Golf Club: Lake Course

2009-03-09T10:03:00.005-04:00

The picture on the left was taken from the Mirror Lake website, and as far as I am concerned, is a complete lie. Mirror Lake Golf Club has two courses, the Mountain Course and the Lake Course. On Saturday, I played the Lake Course. One might assume that this picture was taken along one of the Lake Course's 18 holes, but they would be wrong. I did not see a body of water that was even 1/10th the size of the lake pictured here. Now, I understand that water levels have been historically low in Georgia over the past year or so, but the various bodies of water that I saw along the course looked more like drainage ponds than the sprawling vista pictured here.

I played from the Gold tees, totaling 6,486 yards. Most of the fairways were pretty wide open and any danger was clearly visible from the tee box. Given that it is early March, the fairways and rough were dormant and the only thing green were the greens. I found the greens to be in great shape. Most of them were large and undulating and playing very fast, which made for some interesting putts. I found that the greens rolled true and reading them was not too difficult. There was a little inconsistency with sand in the bunkers from hole to hole (I played out of 8 of them), but in decent shape nonetheless. The few holes that did play along the "lake" were the most challenging, and errant tee shots were most likely going to end up in the drink.

The signature hole, in my opinion, was the 590-yard Par 5 12th. Not because of the view, but because of the challenge. This Par 5 was straight and playing slightly downhill, with a creek/marshy area running in front of the green. The hazard made going for the green in 2 nearly impossible, unless you were able to hammer out a 330+ yard drive.

Mirror Lake is a private golf club and community. I played with someone who is a member of Cannongate Golf, of which Mirror Lake is a member course, and was able to get on for only $25. Overall, I would give the Lake Course 3.5 Sporks, but honestly, the value is unbeatable. Normally, a course like this would cost $65-$100 in greens fees, so if I ever have the chance to play it with a Cannongate member, I will certainly take them up on it. Located in Villa Rica, it's a little bit of a hike to get out there, but well worth it if you can get this rate.

Mirror Lake Golf Club
1000 Canongate Blvd Villa Rica, GA 30180
P: (770) 459-5599
F: (770) 459-9198

Guest Review: There's Nothing Funny About Expensive Drinks and Bad Service

2009-03-06T10:01:00.006-05:00

By Brian Seel, Guest Contributor

Last Friday I went to a comedy club at the suggestion of a friend. Said comedy club was called The Punchline, located in Sandy Springs. First things first, it was pouring buckets of rain and the ticket guy at the front window had no idea how to work the credit card machine. On top of that, $5.50 was added to the price of the $20 ticket for taxes and "convenience." I don't see what is convenient about standing in the rain for 10 minutes while this guy counted the credit card numbers on his finger. But, we finally made it in.

This is the type of comedy club where comedians earn their stripes. It is a pretty old and cheesy looking venue, but it's small size does make for an intimate experience between the audience and the comic. The headliner that night was Al Madrigal, a bit actor on the show "Gary Unmarried." I never caught the name of the comic who opened for him, but he was significantly funnier than Al. The opener picked on several members of the audience and had a filthy vocabulary, which always makes for good entertainment. He really had the audience in stitches. However, Al spoke so softly that the audience had to consciously quiet down to hear every joke. Foul #1. This routine mostly consisted of typical family/marriage humor and lacked any outrageous, new insights into the subject matter. Foul #2.

In spite of all this, we had a decent time. But, not if you take into account the fact that the waitress screwed up our drink orders several times and brought us gin and tonics so bland you couldn't taste any gin (I swear they used club soda, not tonic). On top of that, we ended up paying around $60 for 8 drinks between 2 people. Whenever I go to a bar, if the service is terrible, I at least expect good drinks. Big Foul #3.

Overall, I would recommend going to The Punchline only if there is a great comic with some proven track record headlining and you don't intend on getting drunk.

24 Season 7, 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.

2009-03-04T09:52:00.009-05:00

***SPOILER ALERT!***

BA Roof:

To enjoy 24, I have to realize it’s just fantasy. I can easily do this with Lost, a show built around the supernatural, time travel and faith. But, 24 is supposed to be grounded in current day reality. In the first few seasons of 24, all the events seemed plausible. Then with every subsequent season, the writers felt they had to one-up the previous one in the disaster department. I’m not sure what else they can do after last night. In last night’s episode a small group of soldiers from a fictional African country overtook the White House. Let’s pause. The White House is probably the most heavily guarded building in the world. The only chance you have of overtaking it is probably completely destroying it in a covert coordinated effort. There is no “overtaking” it.

How did the writers of 24 get around this? They created an inside person, of course. A mystery person (John Voight) that appears to have access to all the security codes and White House information aiding the soldiers (Note: the soldiers wore camo military gear, not stealthy black clothing that one might wear at night when not in the jungle). I assume we will learn more about this man in the second half of the season. If you were not going to destroy the building, but simply take it over, I guess an underground attack would be the most vulnerable method. But, since it is the most vulnerable, don’t you think there are some pretty strong safeguards in that department? Not in the world of 24.

I could go off on a tangent about how the FBI could have prevented the underwater/underground attack by finding the boat from the location Agent Walker gave them. It was only going about 5 mph. But, it is the government we are talking about. Now, we have the proposition that only 10 to 15 soldiers are going to overtake the White House. God knows how many Secret Service, NSA agents, troops, etc. are guarding the White House (no idea what happened to them all). Plus you have Jack Bauer. Why did he seem so helpless? Why did everyone seem so helpless? Mr. Robinson makes some excellent points in his post about how the lock down room was supplied. But, why did the Secret Service agents look like they couldn’t even shoot a gun? There was probably a reason…the entire government mole issue that consumed the first half of the season and rendered every agency untrustworthy. But, the writers forgot to explain this fact.

Finally, in the conclusion of the show, you have a Vice President unwilling to go in and save the President, because he isn’t sure whether they have captured her. Um, I’m guessing the White House is bugged, wired, videotaped, more than you would want to know, so there is no way to monitor what is happening? Somehow an FBI desk agent can intercept cell phone calls and decode computer files in a matter of seconds from her desk, but no one can determine what happened to the President in the White House?

Now, while all these things bothered me last night, I did enjoy watching the show. I just pretended it was pure fantasy. After that, I was entertained and want to know what happens next week. So did I stop watching the show? No. Have I lost a lot of respect for it? Yes. But I can’t stop watching this train wreck, like I can’t stop watching the stock market drop on a daily basis. I give the two hour episode a Spork Rating of:

Christopher J. Robinson:

Once again, it’s the little things that bother me. As BA Roof has pointed out, the first step is recognizing that ‘24’ has become completely fantastical. At this point, I would not be surprised if Jon Voight’s character turned out to be a magic wizard or a shape shifter. Although a magic wizard would have been able to throw a bull’s-eye after exclaiming “Now, let’s throw some darts!”

So here are few of the little things that bothered me about last night’s episode of 24:

-General Juma’s knife was so dull that it didn’t even slice the cheek of the President’s daughter as he ran it across her face. Rather pathetic, Juma.
-Jack was quickly able tor recognize that Juma’s end game was killing the President and making a mockery of the United States, and that he was very willing to die to achieve this. Yet, not a single FBI or Secret Service Agent outside of the White House was able to come to this conclusion and storm the rebels.
-The only security system that Juma’s men had to get around was a short drainage tunnel that was protected by some lasers. I saw on Myth Busters once that no one even uses these anymore because they are so easy to get around. So why does the White House still use them? They weren’t even invisible.
-The “lock down room” in the White House has not been set up with a way to contact anyone outside of it? There wasn’t even anything cool in there. Only a small tool box. No guns, no explosives, no tear gas and gas masks, no teleportation devices.
-What happened to all of the US soldiers dressed in camo that were already inside the White House when they took down Jack?
-Why don’t characters in 24 feel pain when grabbed by the arm that has a bullet lodged in it?

There were countless other instances of very minor things that could have very easily been made to seem realistic. I can’t wait to see what happens in Season 8. Jack will probably have to diffuse a nuclear bomb that is in orbit around the Earth, or battle aliens that have infiltrated the CIA. I wouldn’t even be surprised if Season 8 was handed over to Disney’s Pixar studios.

However, in light of the fact that 24 in no longer grounded in reality, Monday's two hour block was rather entertaining, and as the other R points out, we will continue to watch. But that doesn't mean I am going to love it. The lazy writing will still frustrate me. 6:00 pm - 8:00 pm gets...

Holy heck, No Chicken McNuggets?

2009-03-03T12:11:00.005-05:00

Dear boys and girls,

Yes, McDonalds running out of Chicken McNuggets is a problem. Maybe even an “emergency” for those of you who are hung over from drinking too much of grandpa’s medicine last night. However, your local McDonalds running out of Chicken McNuggets does not warrant a call to 911. See, boys and girls, there is a difference in the type of emergencies out there. Option A. You accidentally cut off your arm, because you mistakenly thought chainsaws only cut wood, not flesh. Option B. You believe the new “Biggie” size at your local Wendy’s is false advertising (come on that size couldn’t feed a starving Ethiopian). Only Option A warrants a call to 911. See the difference, now? If only this post had been up in time for poor Latreasa Goodman. But, for not giving up and taking no for an answer I give Latreasa a Spork Rating of:

Ranking the Best Picture winners since 2000

2009-02-27T14:19:00.005-05:00

The Oscars have come and gone. The R and R Review didn't write one blog about it. Why not, some of our loyal readers have asked? Because, we are lazy. Too busy eating out. The awards show was good and I give it overall high marks, but I don't want this blog to focus on the 81st Academy Awards. All fall, I thought the slate of movies that were considered the "best" of the year seemed very weak. I will admit, I didn't get to see all of them, as the R and R Review is very cheap and hasn't increased my business expense account. But, of the ones I got to watch: The Reader, Benjamin Button, Slumdog and Milk (ah, I only missed one), I thought this year was a little down. Slumdog Millionaire was my favorite, but it was everyone else's, too. How could it not be? However, I really didn't think it would stand up well against previous winners. So, what did I do? I decided to compare it against the other winners for Best Picture this decade and rank them. Here they are:

9. A Beautiful Mind (2001): Just didn't really like this movie that much. Traffic should have won, I don't know what the Academy was smokin'. Maybe too many of them were smokin' something when they watched Traffic and forgot to vote? God, I love Michael Douglas.

8. Chicago (2002): I'm not a big musical fan, so maybe that is why I rated this movie so low. However, it was the first musical that kept my attention for more than 10 minutes. Also, I'm not a Renee Zellweger fan. There, I said it.

7. Lord of the Rings, the Return of the King (2003): I liked the first two movies in the trilogy better. This one ended up winning for all three. I kept thinking the movie was ending and would stand up to leave. This happened for 45 minutes.

6. Crash (2005): This movie was better than Brokeback Mountain, no matter what people say. I am not homophobic because I think that. Who wouldn't want to be stuck on a mountain with Jake Gyllenhaal? Crash was just better, so get over it.

5. Gladiator (2000): A great epic movie that was actually recognized. In recent years, the Oscars don't reward these types of movies. It wasn't the best movie of the decade, but very entertaining.

4. Slumdog Millionaire (2008): Stacks up much better than I thought. Too bad the kids had to leave Disneyland to return to the slums. But, they made good money, according to the producers.

3. Million Dollar Baby (2004): I didn't want to see a movie just about a woman trying to become a boxer. It turned out to be a lot more than that...even though it was a movie about a woman trying to become a boxer.

2. The Departed (2006): Who doesn't like a good mob/cop movie? They are some of Hollywood's absolute best movies. Plus, this one had Jack, Leo, Alec, Matt, Martin and Mark.

1. No Country for Old Men (2007): I was surprised this was my favorite, as I liked There Would Be Blood better last year. However, the Coen brothers really foll0wed Cormac McCarthy's book. This had all the elements of a great movie.

Review: Coco Loco

2009-02-26T09:28:00.004-05:00

So over the weekend I decided to venture out of my comfort zone of Moes and Chipotle and try out a new Cuban restaurant by the name of Coco Loco. Previously, I had my standby restaurant, Havana Sandwich Shop, a very straight forward title for a straight forward dining experience. This was once you got past the metal bars on the windows. However, tragically for me, the place burned down a few months ago and there is no hope of it rebuilding. There are other Cuban restaurants in town, but are more than my preferred 7.5 minute driving radius, so I went to the internet to find my fix. What did my Cuban deprived stomach find, but Coco Loco.

First, the name made me hesitate. Why wouldn’t it? It made me think of an Americanized restaurant serving Cajun burgers next to phony Ropa Vieja. But, it was getting quite late and I was hungry and I was desperate. (Note: It is very rare for me to try out a new place it without any advice. I was way out on a limb here).

When we pulled up, and I saw it was sitting in a strip center (not to be confused with a strip joint), I really wanted to keep driving to a vacant building and explain to my wife that Coco Loco must have fallen victim to the economy. Let’s get Chili’s instead? But, I was strong and forged ahead (actually I was so hungry, I didn’t think I could make it to Chili’s). As we did a drive by (without a gun), my wife pointed out that there were authentic Cubans serving and eating inside. My wife has Cubanadar I guess.

Once I got passed the simple surroundings, and my wife informed me that real Cuban restaurants had glass table tops (these were actually acrylic), I was excited for my experience. I ordered my favorite, the Ropa Vieja with moros and maduros. My wife ate the Lechon Asado with moros and maduros, as well. While my Ropa Vieja was a touch soupier than I expected, the flavors were not all that bad. It resembled real Cuban food. It’s hard to go wrong with moros and the maduros were ripe enough for a tasty treat. My wife’s Lechon Asado was a bit dry on the edges, so they get marked down for that, but the center part of the pork was tasty, although I’m not sure I would ever order it. The server was extremely nice and knew Spanish, as my wife loves to prove I’m an idiot and talk to them in a language I can’t understand. They snicker and point at the gringo when they are done. Silly American. All in all, this was not a true replacement for Havana, but a place I will try again. I give it a Spork Rating of:

Mid-Season Review of 24: Season 7

2009-02-24T10:31:00.009-05:00

By BA Roof with an afterward by Christopher J. Robinson about episode 10.

***SPOILER ALERT***

BA Roof:

Editors Note: I watched 24 Redemption right before Episode 1 of Season 7, so I got confused with some inauguration content from an earlier post. My comments have been revised. I'm stupid.

I’m skipping my review of the Oscars to discuss a much more important topic: this season’s 24. I got into 24 by watching Season 5. I had enough friends pleading with me to watch the show. Ok, so I have no friends and was just bored and decided why not give it a try? I liked it so much, I went and bought the previous four seasons, but have only watched Season 1, so far. Hey, I’m a very busy and totally important guy. Tragically, the writers were abducted and replaced with glue sniffing drones for Season 6 and the franchise nearly died. For this year’s Season 7, there was supposed to be an overhaul.

So, is this season any better for 24? Yes and no. They finally scrapped CTU, which I couldn’t believe was still around for Season 6. I mean, how many terrorist attacks really happen in Los Angeles? They also shook up the cast a bit, which was long overdue, since I got tired of seeing the same people winning the Presidency like it was a deal made in some backroom bar. Maybe it is a deal made in some backroom bar in real life, but at least it’s not obvious.

I am, however, still very disappointed with the show. For some reason the writers keep coming up with plot twists that seem virtually impossible. Let me list the problems: (1) I know this is minor, but all the trees have leaves and the grass is green and some characters wear light jackets while others wear heavy ones. It’s the same day. Is it June or is it February? I have no clue, but it doesn't add up. (2) No one trusts or believes Jack. Give me a break. This guy has saved us how many times and we still don’t trust him? (3) How does a small African nation have the ability to corrupt so many high up people in the government and get this magical device that can cripple the country? Why haven't the Russians done this already? (4) Why on earth would there be a single device that can cripple the entire country so easily? (5) How can a low level FBI agent have so much access to the computers and why does his superior always trust what he says, knowing there is a mole in his department?

I know 24 can sometimes stretch the truth for entertainment, but at least make it seem plausible. That's what was so great about earlier episodes. This week’s episode didn’t have too much overt crazy writing. Most of it was plausible. Ok, maybe not the simple way one could erase the FBI computer files, or everything Chris discusses below. But, there have been plenty of moles in the FBI over the years. However, stay tuned. The trailer for next week’s show demonstrates how an African leader can have his loyalist storm the White House and hold the President hostage. Yeah, right. The most heavily guarded building in the world. I’m guessing next week’s episode will finally do me in and I will never be able to watch 24 again. See if I’m right. Spork Rating for Season 7 so far:

Christopher J. Robinson:

5:00 PM - 6:00 PM

Wow. Where to begin? I have never been more frustrated with poor writing than I was last night. Even though I love Rhys Coiro as Billy Walsh on Entourage, his character in 24, FBI Agent/cube monkey Sean Hillinger, has really bothered me. Apparently, computer nerds at the FBI are trained in all aspects of intelligence field work and issued Glocks. If you get angry at your computer, just pull out your Glock and cap your PC.

So last night, Sean and Erika are walking around the office and openly discussing Dubaku and how they have committed high treason within an ear shot of maybe 6-10 coworkers. Completely absurd. I think there was a moment when Sean even bumped into someone while talking about Jack and Renee, who is supposedly dead. Now, let’s not even get into the technical aspects of wiping out the FBI’s entire network in 30 seconds; it hurts too much to think about. This brings us to Sean shooting Erika in the stomach, her bleeding out immediately, then turning the gun on himself and shooting his arm point blank. Again, why is an IT guy at the FBI (not a field agent) issued a gun? If he was not issued the gun, how did he get it into the building? Surely they must have some sort of security protocol put in place, medal dectors at the door, something. After he shoots himself, he slides the gun over to Erika’s lifeless body but fails to get her prints on the gun. Doesn’t Sean think that a shooting inside the FBI will be investigated? Doesn’t he watch CSI?

After the doctors bandage up his arm, Sean casually and effortlessly puts on his jacket, runs down the hallway, is grabbed BY THAT ARM without flinching, then when he is placed in the interrogation room, is shown leaning on the table with both arms. Not once does he flinch or show any pain. How hard is it to add the line “God dammit! That hurts! Come on, man. I was just shot right where your grabbed me! Aghhhhh. F*** that hurts!” And I love how he had an extra button down shirt at the office, in case he ever gets shot at the office and needs to clean up and look presentable again.

Finally, we have the uncomfortable crowbar scene with Jack and Tony on the steps. It’s as if the writers sat down, went to work, and when they finished they had 10 hours of story line. “Oh, crap. How can we awkwardly continue the plot?” As BA Roof and I have discussed countless times, it is not that hard to keep the plot in tact while at the same time making certain aspects of the show more believable. I just do not understand the laziness and how they get away with it.

I do, however, love the obvious sexual tension between Jack Bauer and Agent Renee Walkers breasts. That was the silver lining to last night’s episode.

I'm with BA Roof on his spork rating for the Season thus far, but last night's episode gets...

Oregon’s 1900% Beer Tax Increase

2009-02-19T12:09:00.005-05:00

With state governments scurrying around searching to find extra money like field mice scavenging for cheese, they are coming up with some unusual and overzealous scenarios. This week an Oregon legislator announced an idea to raise beer taxes. When governments want more of your money, they always go straight to the easiest tax to hike: the Sin Tax. Too bad I enjoy sinning and always seem to get stuck with the tab.

Now your local thief Oregon legislator may tell you that this tax will raise a pint of beer at most by 15 cents and that the current tax is only one measly cent. Who can’t afford 15 cents? And, I mean, come on…the only thing worst than something NOT being taxed, is something being taxed too low, right? But critics are fast to point out that the tax could amount to a $1.50 increase PER PINT. How can this be??? Well the increase per barrel of beer would be around $50, and some (in the beer lobby, so maybe their numbers are a tad high) say that once everyone on the supply chain takes their cut, the cost increase from the tax will increase the cost of the finished product by a lot. This means the famous microbreweries in Oregon could be out of business with the new tax.

So what is the big deal with increasing the taxes? Who cares about a bunch of drunk hippies? Charging them an extra $1.50 will get more taxes for our government officials to waste. Right? I know many of you slept through economics class, but the higher something costs (or in this case a tax), the less people will spend, meaning less tax revenue for government. Since fewer products are being bought, the beer companies and microbreweries have less revenue, as well, and profits drop and the breweries are forced to lay off people. More become unemployed creating a bigger strain on tax resources of the state and now since the state is getting less tax revenue, because of this simple increase in beer taxes, they have to cut more programs and/or increase taxes somewhere else. See the vicious cycle? Are you dizzy too? Let me put down my beer.

Now, maybe Oregon’s beer tax is a little low right now. It hasn't been raised in three decades. Or, maybe the government is too big and there should be fewer taxes. However, when your state has an industry built around brewing beer, maybe you need to keep the taxes low on that industry so people keep their jobs. One thing is for sure, a potential increase of this magnitude is too much for any time period, but especially at a time of such economic uncertainty. I mean, how are people going to drown their sorrows when they get laid off if beer is prohibitively expensive? This tax increase gets a Spork Rating of:

NO SPORKS!!

Not even for effort.

Beryl Meets Jared Leto

2009-02-17T15:04:00.005-05:00

Whether you know him as Angel Face from Fight Club, Paul Allen from American Psycho, or yes, the Jordan Catalano from My So-Called Life, his real name is Jared Leto and he sings and plays guitar in a dreadfully awful band called 30 Seconds to Mars.

In NYC over the weekend, Beryl and Linds were walking through Union Square on their way to dinner when they brushed shoulders with the aforementioned Hollywood C-lister. So Beryl is all “Like OMG!!! Linny, I think that’s Jordan Catalano!!!” and Linds is all “Who?” and then Beryl realized that it was in fact, Jordan Catalano.

As Beryl turned and approached the once object of her prepubescent affection, she asked “Would it be like [brieft pause] so uncool if I asked for a picture, or something?” Catalano obliged, posed for the pic and walked away. This is when things took a HUGE turn for the worse… Beryl, in her state of giddy, star-struck euphoria, managed to yell out “HUGE My So-Called Life fan!!!!” This was the lamest thing that she could have possibly said.

When asked by the R & R Review if she frenched Jared Leto, Beryl responded with a deflated and wistful “No.”

While approaching Jared Leto and asking for a photo took some major cojones, Beryl managed to lose a couple of Sporks with her little quip at the end. Thus, Beryl’s encounter with Jared Leto gets…

2009 Daytona 500

2009-02-17T11:54:00.005-05:00

So, I’m not sure how many of our loyal readers (yes, all 3 of you) watch NASCAR. I can tell you with confidence that the other R wants nothing to do with the sport. Yes, the cars drive round and round and at first glance can seem boring. But, I seem to have a sweet tooth for some good ole southern racin’ and yes, Days of Thunder is one of my favorite movies. Why is this? Because, of the drama between the drivers and the governing body. It’s like combining a ten car accident on the interstate, with the fighting of hockey with the dysfunctional governing body of…maybe Olympic gymnastics?

This leads me to describe one of the worst Daytona 500s I’ve seen in a very long time. If you haven’t heard, we are in the midst of an economic meltdown. NASCAR heavily relies on sponsorship dollars to fund its race teams. Did you know it can cost as much as 20 million dollars a year to fund a team? There are 43 teams that make a race every weekend. That’s a lot of money. Also, if you don’t watch often, three of the four car brands circling the track every weekend come from Detroit. With the car industry on life support and corporations hoarding every penny found, NASCAR desperately needed a strong 500 to increase viewers and attendance. Instead, it got its typical drama combined with a shortened race due to poor contingency planning by the sport.

The biggest issue of the day, besides the rain, was my favorite, yet slightly overrated driver Dale Earnhardt, Jr. I loved his daddy, so naturally I followed Junior. However, Junior doesn’t drive like his daddy and doesn’t win like his daddy, causing a lot of frustration for me and many other NASCAR fans. A good friend of mine and I often complain after a race how Junior once again screwed things up. Well, during this race he happened to spin out Brian Vickers shortly before the rain came. Many of the commentators and cry-baby drivers claimed that Junior recklessly hit Vickers, causing a major pileup. Well, first Junior had an incredible run on him and Vickers recklessly blocked his pass. As Junior was trying to come back into the race from the grass, he “rubbed” him. And as Harry Hogge said in Thunder, rubbin, son, is racin’. If the other driver’s can’t handle it…they need to go to Dancin’ with the Stars.

That leads to the question: why were they racing so hard with so many laps left? Well, rain was coming and in NASCAR you can’t race in the rain because of the slick tires used by the sport. Now, I understand that NASCAR can’t control the weather. But, they knew the bad weather was approaching hours in advance. Instead of moving up the biggest race of the year by an hour or so, and cut out their horrible pre-race celebration…they kept to the script, ensuring a rain ruined race. The BIGGEST race! The Super Bowl of NASCAR! It would be like if at the end of the third quarter of the Super Bowl, they cancelled the fourth quarter because of rain. NASCAR needs to learn a lesson from MLB. When the weather delayed Game 5 in the 6th inning of the World Series last year, did MLB place the game in the books? No, it let it resume days later. NASCAR should probably run the 500 a weekend earlier, or schedule the second race of the season somewhere on the east coast, rather than California so they could delay the race if needed. Instead, they stopped it only 3/4ths of the way through, with a lot of racing left to the imagination.

This year's Daytona 500 gets a Spork Rating of:

Fox Bros. BBQ

2009-02-16T16:52:00.007-05:00

So, I really enjoy some good southern BBQ, but as strange as it may seem, Atlanta doesn't seem to have much in that department. Yes, it's a major city and it's located in the South. One would think a plethora of amazing BBQ joints would dot the scene. In fact, it was a consideration for me when deciding whether to move to Atlanta. Now, I must get all lawyer on you and establish that rating BBQ is about as subjective as rating the looks and intelligence of your child over your friend's. It's very subjective. There's even different styles from all over the country. So in reading this review, keep that in mind and don't shoot the messenger.

However, my wife, understanding my obsession for locating good bbq like a pig digging for truffles, stumbled upon this place called Fox Bros. BBQ. Now, I know many Atlantans have known about this place for eons...I'm not from Atlanta, so back off! I just discovered it like Christopher Columbus found the New World, so we will pretend it's truly a new discovery.

I must admit, I was very impressed with the food at Fox. I ate the pulled pork meal, with Brunswick stew, mac 'n cheese and everyone's favorite...Tater Tots. Yes, Virginia, they do have TOTS! I must rave about the pork, though, because it's the first time in Atlanta that I've eaten pulled pork from a restaurant and actually tasted that wonderful smoky flavor. It was very tender, well seasoned and served over a single slice of white bread. It puts everywhere else I've eaten bbq thus far in Atlanta to shame.

So here is the lowdown:

Pros: Great smoked pulled pork, awesome Brunswick stew, tasty Mac 'n cheese and they have Tots on the menu. Also, a very decent bear selection for a bbq joint.

Cons: Service was nice enough, but really slow on Sunday afternoon, the sweet tea was a bit watered down, the pork may have been a notch too dry (but I'll let it slide because it was so tasty), and unfortunately it was lacking in a variety of bbq sauces at the table.

All in all, if you live in Atlanta, or are visiting, consider this Spork Rating when choosing your BBQ joint of choice:

You can't go wrong with Fox Bros. BBQ

Joaquin Phoenix Takes it to Letterman

2009-02-13T16:47:00.002-05:00

The real debate this week has not been whether or not a disc-golf course in Austin, TX that creates one job is the very definition of pork barrel spending or an actual economic stimulus, but whether or not Joaquin Phoenix’s recent appearance on Letterman was Andy Kaufman-esque or further evidence of the true mental unraveling of a two-time Oscar nominated actor.

Last year, Phoenix rocked Hollywood with his announcement that he was retiring from acting to pursue a new career in music. It was widely assumed that Joaquin would follow in his Walk The Line footsteps and attempt to join the rock community. As it turns out, Joaquin Phoenix wants to become a hip-hop star. As the story grew more and more bizarre, we learned that brother-in-law (and Hollywood’s finest young actor) Casey Affleck will direct a feature-length documentary of Phoenix’s explosion into the hip-hop scene. Casey will be following his every move. Apparently, filming began at Phoenix’s first live gig in Las Vegas last month. But this gets even better. P Diddy has signed on to produce the album. Yeah, that’s right. Diddy. They’ve been spotted around town partying it up, big time.

Do we really think that Casey Affleck would take a sabbatical from acting, at his peak no less, to chronicle the breakdown of one of his closest friends? Nah. There is no way this is real. If Joaquin was truly losing it, Casey would know, and the most he could hope to gain by documenting it would to capture the demise and ultimate death of his wife’s brother. That would be pretty twisted.

I am thoroughly convinced that this is a hoax. And it is pure genius. This will be the greatest joke performed on the public at the hands of an actor… ever. Unless of course, Andy Kaufman is still alive.

Joaquin Phoenix’s appearance on The Late Show with David Letterman gets…

Pre Pre-Season NCAA Football Coach Review – Lane Kiffin

2009-02-13T14:49:00.003-05:00

So, interesting choice for a first review, right? College football is still over six months away (shhh, stop crying SEC fans) and our boy Lane hasn’t even coached a game for UT…not even the Spring game. However, Coach Kiffin has given the eleven other SEC schools a treasure trove of great material for decades to come. How could a pre pre-season review be ignored? First, I’ve diagnosed Lane’s problem. He has a mild case of Tourette’s syndrome. I mean, the guy says every bad thought that goes through his overworked brain. Filter, Kiffin, Filter. We could start way back in the NFL for this review, but let’s just focus on the time Kiffin has been coach of UT:

1. Made fun of and belittled a talent rich high school in Florida where he just nabbed a top recruit from UF.

2. Bragged about stealing recruits from other schools on camera.

3. Called Urban Meyer a cheat on camera, which was untrue and landed him a nice reprimand from SEC Commish Mike Slive.

4. Was subsequently reported for two recruiting violations by his own school and his excuse? “Other schools do it, too” (This is the same guy that bragged he got all but one answer right on NCAA recruiting exam).

5. Said he fired a staff member when his driver was 25 minutes late picking him up at the airport (Reason: That was 25 more minutes Urban and Saban had to get recruits). Maybe he is just insane?? UT quickly said no one had been fired and that Coach Kiffin was just running a very “disciplined program”. Are two recruiting violations in his first few months disciplined?

I could give Laney boy a 5 Spork review for making something relevant come out of Tennessee football for the first time in nearly a decade. However, relevant doesn’t equate to greatness in this case. When Urban took over Florida, he immediately focused on football and the fundamentals. He won two national championships in four years. Saban has made similar progress in Babalama by nearly winning the SEC Championship and playing in a BCS bowl game in his second year. The Nutt defeated the last three National Champions and won the Cotton Bowl in his first year at Ole Miss. Even Auburn’s new lackluster coach Chizik has enough brains to just shut up and pray if he works hard enough, something good will happen (see: Ron Zook for results). Instead of focusing on the fundamentals of football, Kiffin has done a knock up job of pissing off his rivals by his accusations, cheating and dirty tricks and at the same time made a bigger joke out of his school. I mean, have you actually heard the lyrics to Rocky Top??? These are huge negatives for a team coming off one if its worst seasons in a long, long time. So for that, kiddin’ Kiffin gets:

Guide to the Spork System

2009-02-12T16:10:00.001-05:00

No Sporks (but reviewed): Run away. Far, far away. Think the Majestic with Jim Carrey.

One Spork: A One Spork Rating will tell you that something is dreadful. If it's an airline, there's good chance you've been on the runway for four hours, the seats are too small, all of the food and drinks cost something, you've been bumped for the second time in two days and all future flights are delayed. Think US Airways.
Two Sporks: A Two Spork Rating usually means something is just mediocre. If you were staying in a Two Spork hotel, you are probably watching a 25-inch tube television that only gets 15 channels (five of which are guides), the towels are rough and usually only three are provided when four are needed, and the bed is hard as a rock, but there are no bed bugs or roaches sleeping with you.

Three Sporks: A Three Spork Rating is the lowest of the ratings that can get you recommended by the R and R Review. This means a dinner was tasty, but not memorable. Think of winning a Toyota Camry on the Price is Right...you are happy for the reliability, but aren't wowed by the image you now portray.

Four Sporks: A Four Spork Rating is given to something that is truly great, but for whatever reason it is a step short of perfection. Think of going on a date with a jaw-droppingly beautiful woman/man that has a great sense of humor and makes you feel completely comfortable around them, but when you get back to their place they own a cat.

Five Sporks: This is the hardest rating to achieve. A Five Spork Rating is not thrown around like a four year old kid in a bouncy house. It is reserved for perfection or as near perfection one can get in its particular medium and/or genre. Think George Washington meets Abe Lincoln.

We also use half sporks and that's pretty self-explanatory. If you need a guide for that, you probably shouldn't be reading our blog.

The Spork System

2009-02-12T13:17:00.000-05:00

Any review that you read on the R&R Review will be accompanied by a "Spork" rating. The Spork rating ranges from 0 to 5 Sporks, including halves. For example, last night's episode of Lost might have received a rating of 4 Sporks, had it been reviewed on this blog.

A brief description of each Spork rating will be posted shortly.

Welcome to the R&R Review

2009-02-12T12:00:00.000-05:00

The R&R Review is a writing club that was conceived in the foothills of North-Central Florida. It evolved into a film review journal and plans to add the political musings of its co-founders along with critiques of b&bs, books, golf courses, restaurants... honestly, there are no boundaries.

We will review everything from movies and books to hotels and resorts. It is the New Yorker meets Entertainment Weekly meets Food and Wine meets the Economist meets Us Weekly.